GF travelling the world with another guy

[In Like Flynn]

I htink he has been scared off!! No matter which site he goes to or person he talks to he won't find one that find this trip OK or the relationship with this guy normal. Good Luck!!!

 

Why can't you go with her on this trip??

[silitbang1]

I haven't been scared off -_- I just don't have frequent internet access! I know this whole situation's not normal and me and my girlfriend had another talk about it yesterday.

 

I told her "I love you but this whole situation is getting me down and I don't deserve that, and likewise you deserve someone who is ok with situations like this. So if you want to go then I want you to go. I'm not going to stop you. If it causes us to break apart from one another then so be it. this is something you've been planning for a long time and you need to go."

 

Then she cried and didn't really say anything and we just kind of drifted off to sleep

[Bryanp]

Her lack of response told you you everything you needed to know. She drifted off crying to sleep because she has a boyfriend who was not O.K. with a girlfriend traveling around the world with a former lover for a year. She is sad because she has a boyfriend who realizes that she was not willing to wait 2 years for you to come with her. She was sad because she has a boyfriend who is not a total fool.

[Al_Bundy]

I have a friend like that.. we sleep in the same bed, cuddle but no sex.. he was once my lover.. but I'm sooo over him.. I have absolutely no sexual attraction to him..

 

It's hard to say whether she will cheat or not..

 

Good for her to pursue her dreams and shame on you to try to discourage her.. if you cannot cope with the fact that she has male friends then move on.. you don't own her..

 

 

Show us where he said he did own her. Show us where he said he was going to tell her what to do.

 

He has a concern. Is he not entitled to that?

 

But I agree. He should move on. She isn't someone he can trust.

[Al_Bundy]

I haven't been scared off -_- I just don't have frequent internet access! I know this whole situation's not normal and me and my girlfriend had another talk about it yesterday.

 

I told her "I love you but this whole situation is getting me down and I don't deserve that, and likewise you deserve someone who is ok with situations like this. So if you want to go then I want you to go. I'm not going to stop you. If it causes us to break apart from one another then so be it. this is something you've been planning for a long time and you need to go."

 

Very well done my man. I'd say you two aren't meant to be together. You have a concern which she doesn't care about, and she is going to do what she wants no matter how bad it makes you feel.

 

Time to move on I say.

[Al_Bundy]

Her lack of response told you you everything you needed to know. She drifted off crying to sleep because she has a boyfriend who was not O.K. with a girlfriend traveling around the world with a former lover for a year. She is sad because she has a boyfriend who realizes that she was not willing to wait 2 years for you to come with her. She was sad because she has a boyfriend who is not a total fool.

 

Yup, players don't like it when they find someone they can't play.

[Treasa]

I like that you put that into present tense only.

 

Bottom line is that you should restrict the types and frequency of activities with Mr. BestFriend. Why? Because that is being respectful of your current relationship.

 

Which is the problem Silitbang is confronting. His GF is not respectful of him, and no respect=no love! There are plenty of great women out there, this isnt' one of them.

 

Nor have I ever cheated on him or any other boyfriend.

 

I do martial arts and play video games with my best friend. I'm not going to stop doing the activities I like, and my boyfriend doesn't want me to. He and my best friend are actually very good friends themselves. On Saturday the two of them were yakking away and I was totally ignoring them because I had a headache and their conversation was just silly. But they were having a great time together.

 

I have no idea what his girlfriend is like. Maybe she IS playing him. But none of us here know that for sure.

[SoulStorm]

Nor have I ever cheated on him or any other boyfriend.

 

I do martial arts and play video games with my best friend. I'm not going to stop doing the activities I like, and my boyfriend doesn't want me to. He and my best friend are actually very good friends themselves. On Saturday the two of them were yakking away and I was totally ignoring them because I had a headache and their conversation was just silly. But they were having a great time together.

 

I have no idea what his girlfriend is like. Maybe she IS playing him. But none of us here know that for sure.

 

From what he has written about her..she likes to cheat. She sounds like a player and a manipulator. This guy would be a fool to stay with her if she goes around the world with this guy she's had sex with. I doubt that some of you women who state that she go, wouldn't have problems with your male counterpart going around the world for 1 year with his female best friend, WHOM HE HAD SEX WITH. If she wants to go then she should, but she would be single when she went if it was me.

OH..and she was trying to play him.

[samspade]

Good for her to pursue her dreams and shame on you to try to discourage her.. if you cannot cope with the fact that she has male friends then move on.. you don't own her..

 

She strong and independant.. good for her..

 

You've gotta be f*cking kidding me.

 

This woman cheated twice on her last boyfriend, and is spending nights with an ex, and that's "strong and independent."

 

This woman is a slut and the OP should dump her as$ IMMEDIATELY.

 

No, he doesn't own her, but he shouldn't tolerate this kind of immature behavior. If she wants to "pursue her dreams" and travel the world with another man, then let her - as a SINGLE WOMAN. He's not discouraging her, he's telling her that he won't stand for it and if that's what she wants, then they're through.

 

It's amazing to me that female slutty behavior is tolerated by some women as "strong and independent," but the same women turn around and shame men the minute they show a single iota of independence. Would a woman call a boyfriend with a history of cheating "strong and independent" if he spent the night with an ex? Would she see applaud him for "pursuing his dreams" if he set off to see the world for a year with an old flame?

 

This isn't about her having male friends, but about her spending the night with them, and about her history, and about her TAKING OFF ON A ONE-YEAR TRIP WITH A MAN WITH WHOM SHE HAS A SEXUAL HISTORY.

 

To the OP: Let her go. And break up with her. Stand up for yourself, save your dignity, and move on. This woman is a wh*re and she needs to be kicked to the curb. She is manipulating you by crying to you. I don't know if she's cheated on you YET but odds are she will soon. Get out now.

[jinx55]

First talk to her and tell her you do not respect this decision and if she agrees not to go or bring you instead which sounds like finding a needle in a haystack give her a chance... but if not which is likely the case...

 

Leave her. What she is doing is very inconsiderate of your feelings and who gives a rats ass if she planned it before she met you that sounds like you are trying to give her a free pass to owning your ass in the future if you do stay together. Relationships are about respect, I can't stand when either men or women don't respect there significant other. You don't deserve it at all, I had a gf for 5 years and she dumped me, yes it was hard and I felt like for a while I wouldn't meet someone else. However after a few months of regrouping it quickly became clear that there are "plenty of fish" in the sea... Now I have a new gf who i am just as happy with and I don't miss my ex at all.

[lamaman3]

You are all terribly missing the point including the OP. She planned this trip long before she met you - she is young and understandably wants to have these kind of experiences while she still can - and you two are not married. Suffice it to say, neither of you would want to stay celibate and dateless for an entire year. This leaves you with 2 options:

 

1) Enjoy the time you have with her now, at the end of the year write her a letter telling her how much shes meant to you and youre glad to have included her in your life for the time that shes been in it - you hope she has a great time on her trip, and maybe youll find your way back into each others lives sometime in the future. Then say goodbye and find other women, think back at your time with this one and smile.

 

Or what many of the posters here suggest:

 

2) Get enraged that she would dare want to take this trip without you. Get enraged that she wont drop her friend because shes your girlfriend. Become very jealous. Blow up at her and call her a slut and make her cry. Go into depression and hate women.

 

Your choice buddy.

[samspade]

You are all terribly missing the point including the OP. She planned this trip long before she met you - she is young and understandably wants to have these kind of experiences while she still can - and you two are not married. Suffice it to say, neither of you would want to stay celibate and dateless for an entire year. This leaves you with 2 options:

 

1) Enjoy the time you have with her now, at the end of the year write her a letter telling her how much shes meant to you and youre glad to have included her in your life for the time that shes been in it - you hope she has a great time on her trip, and maybe youll find your way back into each others lives sometime in the future. Then say goodbye and find other women, think back at your time with this one and smile.

 

Or what many of the posters here suggest:

 

2) Get enraged that she would dare want to take this trip without you. Get enraged that she wont drop her friend because shes your girlfriend. Become very jealous. Blow up at her and call her a slut and make her cry. Go into depression and hate women.

 

Your choice buddy.

 

 

 

No one is enraged that she wants to take a trip or thinks she shouldn't have that experience. If she wants to go on the trip with another guy, more power to her. But then the OP should break up with her, because she's liable to cheat, and it's disrespectful to even expect him to tolerate this. She also attempted to manipulate him by crying about it and offering to cancel the trip.

 

It does not matter that she had it planned before she met him. If she is with him now, she should respect him enough not to even think of traveling the world with another man while still "exclusive." She obviously does not respect him enough to have considered this.

 

I don't think him blowing his top is a good idea, for the record. Your option #1 is sensible enough, though I think he should break it off in person.

 

If I seemed mad, it was more because some posters equate trolloping around the globe with another man while spoken for as being a strong-minded, independent, modern woman. In light of this chick's history of cheating, and the fact that she thought her BF would be okay with this trip, I'd say she's an immature, untrustworthy woman, and the sooner this guy cuts the cord, the better for his own sake. He can keep his dignity and walk away before he gets hurt.

[silitbang1]

Thanks for the further replies.

 

Can I just say, within the bounds of our relationship she has not done anything to cause me to distrust her, only those things she has done outside of our relationship has she done to cause me worry.

 

1) Enjoy the time you have with her now, at the end of the year write her a letter telling her how much shes meant to you and youre glad to have included her in your life for the time that shes been in it - you hope she has a great time on her trip, and maybe youll find your way back into each others lives sometime in the future. Then say goodbye and find other women, think back at your time with this one and smile.

I think this will most likely be the advice I take. I am definitely am in love with her and we have so much fun together. But I think after this year, before she goes away we will have to part ways.

 

We had another conversation about the whole situation today and came to the conclusion that our situation is a bit like an unstoppable object hitting an imovable wall. So we decided the fact that we love each other very much and have so much fun together is enough for now.

[sandrawg]

I hate to say it, but you are not being respected her. I don't think this girl could respect ANYONE. She does not sound ready for the responsibilities of a committed rel'ship. She sounds like she like to play around too much.

 

I mean, leaving on a year-long trip with a guy she SLEPT with? You're not crazy for not wanting to put up with that! I wouldn't! Not many people would.

 

She also has a history of cheating. Look, if she was willing to leave her bf for you, what makes you think you are any different than him?

 

She's playing you, I'm sorry to say. I wish you the strength to walk away, no matter how much you love her. It doesn't sound like she reciprocates.

[Vertex]

Wait, let me get this straight. She's willing to put her relationship with you on hold to go for an ENTIRE YEAR with another DUDE who she has a SEXUAL HISTORY with, coupled with the fact that she also has a HISTORY OF CHEATING?

 

Does it really need to be any more obvious?

[TruthCrushedToEarth]

Dude, she is an oblivious whore! She actually told you those things with a straight face? Like there was nothing out of the normal?? You got two choices: 1) Tell that slut to kick rocks and hit the road or 2) start running around on her like it was your job. Tell her you are wanting to be with her, but meanwhile you are hitting everything that moves while she is away. Number 1 is the more mature and more noble choice, but Number 2 is more fun!

Either way you got a gameplan when she SURELY bangs her friend on the trip!!

[TruthCrushedToEarth]

Quote:

You are all terribly missing the point including the OP. She planned this trip long before she met you - she is young and understandably wants to have these kind of experiences while she still can - and you two are not married. Suffice it to say, neither of you would want to stay celibate and dateless for an entire year. This leaves you with 2 options:

 

1) Enjoy the time you have with her now, at the end of the year write her a letter telling her how much shes meant to you and youre glad to have included her in your life for the time that shes been in it - you hope she has a great time on her trip, and maybe youll find your way back into each others lives sometime in the future. Then say goodbye and find other women, think back at your time with this one and smile.

 

Or what many of the posters here suggest:

 

2) Get enraged that she would dare want to take this trip without you. Get enraged that she wont drop her friend because shes your girlfriend. Become very jealous. Blow up at her and call her a slut and make her cry. Go into depression and hate women.

 

Your choice buddy.

 

 

GO WITH #2! Women are whores...and your certainly can't trust any under 30. Hating women keeps you sharp to what is REALLY going on out there, unlike the candy-coated world some of these delusional emasculated eunuchs are living in.