howwie_123 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I'm new on this board and would like to toss something out to the readers. I'm a 60 year old married man with a good wife and a good marriage. My wife works in an office with about 30-35 women and a few men. A few weeks back, one of the 30-something women was having a birthday and they asked what she wanted. She jokingly said "A picture of George (Clooney) naked on a bear-skin rug". It so happened that one of the older ladies' husband was named George (not Clooney) and is quite the life of the party and carrying "several" extra pounds. He agreed to pose in the requested manner, which he did (at home) as his wife took his pic. They enlarged the pic, made it into a large birthday card and presented it to the lady on her birthday. Since their superviser is a sophisticated 50-something woman, they tried to keep the joke from her in fear they would be reprimanded for such on company time. But she soon heard of the prank, and asked to be included. Much to their relief, she got as much of a laugh out of it as the others. Now, one of the women has had the idea to honor the boss lady's birthday in a similar fashion. However, she and the others have decided to ask all of the husbands over 50 to pose for similar pics, which they plan to make into a birthday card/portfolio for the boss. They plan to name it "The Buns of John Smith Company (not real company name). This sounds like great fun to me and I have been asked to help out with my pic. However, my wife says she is not sure she is comfortable with her co-workers "gawking at me in the nude". I have told her that although technically I (and the others) will be nude, all that will be seen is our bare backsides. As far as I know, the other 50 to 70 year old guys have no problem with it, nor do their wives. I see no problem with a few bare bottoms presented in a humorous way. I and the others think it is a hilarious way to honor the boss, whom we know will take it in good fun. My wife and I are having a little disagreement on this. Any ideas? Should I try further to persuade my wife not to be a party-pooper?
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Um, do you want to get divorced? If she doesn't want you to do it, don't do it! I always (well, try, anyway) defer these types of things to the partner for whom it is most important. Do you want to pose nude MORE than you wife wants you not to?
quankanne Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 sounds like the poster from awhile back who was aksed to streak at his wife's coworker's party. Wife was cool about it but he was unsure. Pretty much we convinced him that at that stage in life, it wasn't about being objectified, but poking fun at ourselves. go rent the movie "Calendar Girls," with Helen Mirren. A bunch of old Brit-chicks make an in the buff calendar to raise funds in their fight against cancer (I think they used proceeds to buy comfortable furniture for the waiting room in the oncology ward at the hospital). It's based on a true story, and while the real calendar was a bit racier than the one from the movie, it dealt with the subject matter tastefully. Watching the movie might give your wife an idea that no matter how old you are or what you look like, your body is still beautiful because it's *you* ... and that if you are able to laugh by flaunting your flaws, it's not a crime. just be sure the boss-lady isn't going to die from shock when you present said calendar!
soserious1 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I'm a 50 something woman and work in a place where the senses of humor are similar, I'd laugh my butt off if I received such a card, I wouldn't consider it offensive in the slightest.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I don't think the issue is whether the boss-lady would be offended, it's his wife. Whose opinion I think trumps that of co-workers and bosses.
norajane Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Leave it alone. Your wife isn't comfortable with it, and I'd say keeping harmony at home should be much more important to you than taking part in this. She simply does not want her co-workers knowing what her husband looks like in the nude and laughing at your ass for the whole next year.
Mr. Lucky Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I hate to be a wet blanket but in this social climate you guys are playing with fire. Call your HR department and ask them what they think of the idea. While I agree that your wife's wishes should be enough - dang! Don't you guys read the paper? Here's a starter for you: http://cbs13.com/national/firefighters.gay.pride.2.819036.html Mr. Lucky
angie2443 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Leave it alone. Your wife isn't comfortable with it, and I'd say keeping harmony at home should be much more important to you than taking part in this. She simply does not want her co-workers knowing what her husband looks like in the nude and laughing at your ass for the whole next year. I think I understand this. I don't think I would want all the women from my husband's work knowing what he looks like naked and I'm sure he would say the same. I don't think he would want me to pose in a nude/semi nude pose for a picture and give it to people at work. I don't think it would matter rather it was for a laugh or not.
Trimmer Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Regardless of how light-hearted and humorous everyone else finds the situation, your wife does not. You need to understand this as an issue between you and your wife. Using the leverage that "everyone else" finds it humorous will not gain much traction with her. What matters to her is whether you take her concerns seriously or not, and this translates directly to the dynamic between the two of you and your relationship. Spending your energy convincing her not to be a "party pooper" - even if you manage to get her to acquiesce - will only send her the message that you don't take her seriously. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you listen to her, and hear her, and that she knows you take her concerns seriously. Don't leave her with the feeling that you are blowing her off because "everyone else" sees it differently, and that she's a party pooper.
Adunaphel Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Would you be okay if your W posed for an humorous pic in lingerie with your co-workers wives, and the picture was presented as a birthday gift to your boss? Anyway, if posing in a prank picture is so important for you, try to find out whether the real problem would be your bare bum, or whether there are other issues. Do you ever hang out with her female coworkers? If so I can totally relate with her. Would she be okay if the picture was taken by a guy? While I might tolerate my partner posing for a pic like the one you described, I would not be confortable if other women were present while the picture was taken, or if the picture could create an occasion for bonding with other women.
JamesM Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 My first question was...why will this prank" be funny? It is like the three year old copying his six year old brother's joke? It was funny the first time, but now it will be embarrassing. And yea, as NJ said, the women in your wife's office will be laughing about your butt for awhile to come. Unless you have the greatest one around, then this picture will be looked at. It is one thing to have a husband give it to his wife, it is quite another thing to have a bunch of married men give it to another lady...who is not their wife. This joke will fall flat with or without you. Better you stay out of it.
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