sigh Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 This absolutely amazes me! Since we are "friends", he wants me to meet and hang out with him and his W!!! I have no contacted this man, we haven't had heart to heart, friend conversations in MONTHS. Now he wants me to hang out with him and his wife!!! Is he joking???? Anyone have any input on this one?
Geishawhelk Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Text him: "You have GOT to be Joking!!" and cut him off again. NC. Period.
FotoGrl Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Yes. Tell him he's f*cking crazy and go back to NC. .
quankanne Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 ignore him. he's either trying to get a rise out of you so that you'll break no contact, or he's incredibly thick-headed in thinking wife meeting former mistress is a smart thing! he's not worth breaking NC for, esp. if he's stupid enough to suggest something like that!
Author sigh Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 We haven't really been strict NC. I've responded to texts. I have no idea what this is all about. Maybe he expects us all to just be best of friends. LOL:laugh:
jj33 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Look back at some of your other posts and remember how hurt you were. Dont respond or just say no. You have backed away you dont need to get involved in this mess again. It doesnt matter what its about. What matters is that you dont want to be apart of it.
bentnotbroken Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 He sounds like an arrogant, egotistical, mind freak who needs to have the head of his willie ripped off.
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 We haven't really been strict NC. I've responded to texts. So in his mind, things could be OK and no big deal. Or he's messing with you..Reguardless, you NEED to tell him to take a hike and then go NC with him. Why are you still responding to texts? What are you getting out of that?
White Flower Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I want some of what he's smoking!!! Ha ha ha!!!
jockson Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Just tell him "we are not very close friends and also we don't have heart to heart relation, then how can I meet and hangout with you and your wife". Just ask him like that and listen what he would say. Next take a decision depending on that situation.
signedin2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Go meet her, then tell her what has happened. After all, she deserves to know. If he gets mad at you, blame it on him by telling me "you're the one who want me to be friends with your wife and that's what friends do, they confide in each other."
Yamaha Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 He's still trying to keep you in his life in some fashion and being friends would allow him to see you.
Owl Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Go meet her, then tell her what has happened. After all, she deserves to know. If he gets mad at you, blame it on him by telling me "you're the one who want me to be friends with your wife and that's what friends do, they confide in each other." Signedin stole my advice! I was going to suggest the exact same thing. You gotta love the stones on this guy. (NOT!)
John Who Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Maybe he wants you to have a 3 some with W him and you.
DealingWDrama Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Sounds like his wife found a text or is suspicious of the affair in the first place and has asked him to ask you if you would like to get together - afterall if you truly were just a friend, as the wife sees you as, then why would it be a big deal. I think the W is calling his bluff.
itiswhatitis Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 wow. sounds like bad news to me. I cant imagine anything good would come out of that meeting. Other then feeling wierd.
Author sigh Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 His W has kind of known about me for a while. She knew that him and I were friends, so it wouldn't be that she just found out about me. I have no idea what he could be thinking, but I'm sure there's some plan going through his mind and whatever it is, I am sure he's not taking me or his W into consideration. It only benefits him somehow. Boy, do I wish I could read minds right now because I have no idea how he could possibly think that us being friends could be good. I have not responded and don't plan to.
carhill Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I have not responded and don't plan to. That's great. Don't respond to any of his attempts to contact you, which it sounds like you have been doing. Think of it this way. If you respond, you maintain the friendship, and then it really becomes a good idea to socialize with his wife, because that is what friends do. You know that strict NC is the solution, don't you?
serial muse Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Sounds like his wife found a text or is suspicious of the affair in the first place and has asked him to ask you if you would like to get together - afterall if you truly were just a friend, as the wife sees you as, then why would it be a big deal. I think the W is calling his bluff. This is exactly what I was thinking. I can't tell from what you wrote, sigh, but are you saying his wife knew about you - as in, knew about the affair? Or just knew that you existed? If she knew you existed but he said you were just "friends," I'd say she's calling his bluff. She's probably seen at least one of your texts and know's something's not right. If she actually knew you were having an affair with him, then perhaps she thinks that if you meet face-to-face, you'll be less inclined to stay in touch in any way, shape or form - including texts. The one thing I suspect, though, is that this is not his idea. It's doubtful that he just wants a friendship, particularly under her watchful eye. It doesn't make any sense. Sure, he may be only self-interested, but that includes self-preservation, and that's probably what this is. He's trying to preserve the peace. I think that, since you didn't really go no-contact, it was only a matter of time until she began to think something was wrong and question him about it. Even with just texts. So he's covering his butt. So I hope that by "I don't plan to respond" you mean "ever." No more texting!
Author sigh Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 A mutual acquaintance of ours told me something today that I think gives me the reason for this latest event. I don't want to get into the details on a public forum, but if it is what I think from the information given (the acquaintance knows nothing about our A, so he just told me as mindless chat) I am sick. Today is really bad. I'm in physical pain and crying from the hurt
signedin2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 A mutual acquaintance of ours told me something today that I think gives me the reason for this latest event. I don't want to get into the details on a public forum, but if it is what I think from the information given (the acquaintance knows nothing about our A, so he just told me as mindless chat) I am sick. Today is really bad. I'm in physical pain and crying from the hurt There over 6 billion people on this plannet and about 1 billion have access to the internet and you can be one of them. No one is going to find out who you are unless you give out your name and (exact) place of employment. Even then, chance is slim to non that someone who knows you read this thread. This whole thread gets like 50 hits and probably less than 25 people out of those more than 6 billion actually read it.
Trimmer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I can understand the suggestion that it's not his idea, his bluff is being called, and he needs to 'produce' you as a friend to cool off suspicions. But from another angle, my first thought when I read this was along these lines: He sounds like an arrogant, egotistical, mind freak... Is it possible that he is anticipating getting some thrill out of secretly/openly dangling his mistress in front of his wife - kind of a danger rush? Isn't that something that often adds to the adrenaline of an affair anyway - the danger of being caught? Maybe he is taking that flirtation with danger to the next level.
torranceshipman Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Is she pregnant? I was trying to think of what would make you so upset...if he, for some strange reason, wants to meet with you and tell you this with his W there, then he is one sick, sad puppy!
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