Please describe your worst break up...

October 21, 2008

I just wanted to say that I found your post heartbreaking. You have experienced many - too many - emotionally traumatic losses at the hands of people who should have treated you better. All those man had every right to end their relationships with you if that's what they wanted, but they owed you better endings. Endings that were not so cruel and the emotional equivalent of a devastating punch in the face.

I'm really sorry these have been your experiences. I hope you can heal yourself and date smarter, whatever that means. Never doubt that you didn't deserve these things, and that there are good people out there who will treasure your place in their lives and treat you with love and respect.

Thanks, that makes me feel better.

The worst part about that last relationship was that he made me believe he was there for me. I am fiercely independent, an only child from a broken home with a father who is more of an irresponsible sibling than a father figure. I learned long ago not to ask for help because I would just get yelled at for either getting into the situation I was in or for being a burden on someone else. This guy made me feel like I could count on him, he took care of me even from a 1,000 miles away. He told me I was the most amazing woman he ever met and he was the first one to say I love you and it was the first time it just felt natural saying it back.

Also the guy that dumped me because his viagra experiment wasnt working actually told me "I know something better will come along"...guess what...hes still single

October 21, 2008

Ugh I know how this feels so much...after my last break up everybody had seen me so happy with my ex and I'm not a big sharer and he was an LDR so I didnt say anything until they asked and then I would just break down crying...even at work...it was so embarassing

Oh and it happened on Thanksgiving weekend ( I had offered to go see him but he made up excuses why I couldnt come...duh..I should have known) and everyone at work was like how was your holiday and I would just break down crying without even saying anything...i was like it sucked...i got dumped..on the phone and I basically dumped myself cause the coward couldnt just come out and say it. grrrr
My older co-worker who is like a father was so pissed that this guy was such a coward that he couldnt even dump me and then I had to hear it over the phone...i thought he was going to have a corinary (sp?)...that made me feel better

October 21, 2008

Ugh I know how this feels so much...after my last break up everybody had seen me so happy with my ex and I'm not a big sharer and he was an LDR so I didnt say anything until they asked and then I would just break down crying...even at work...it was so embarassing

Oh and it happened on Thanksgiving weekend ( I had offered to go see him but he made up excuses why I couldnt come...duh..I should have known) and everyone at work was like how was your holiday and I would just break down crying without even saying anything...i was like it sucked...i got dumped..on the phone and I basically dumped myself cause the coward couldnt just come out and say it. grrrr
My older co-worker who is like a father was so pissed that this guy was such a coward that he couldnt even dump me and then I had to hear it over the phone...i thought he was going to have a corinary (sp?)...that made me feel better
Its great that you have people who look at out for you. Many times, i doubt myself that i have absolutely no one to look to. But love can come from the most unexpected places sometimes

October 21, 2008

My most painful breakup..? Hm. I'm not sure I can describe it without it bringing forth the pain and memories and I'm not sure that's your intention. Suffice to say, a year after I finished treatment (surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy) for an aggressive cancer... I asked my partner to leave. I couldn't deal with him any longer. We'd drifted so badly and it all began the moment I was diagnosed. He literally abandoned me. On my first treatment, he was in the USA working. He continued working there for nearly 6 of my 9 months treatment.

He did this despite his company offering him 6 months paid leave to take care of me. They figured he'd be useless to them anyhow and they'd be paying him sick leave if he went off sick due to stress... so rather than penalise him for his partner's illness by giving him a crappy sick record, they decided to help us and he refused.

So, instead, I was left to cope with my treatment alone .... and trust me, I had such a great time that if the cancer ever comes back, I've elected to die rather than endure treatment again. To add to that insult, I discovered 6 months after I asked him to go, he was living with a girl he worked with... who also happened to be on the same USA trip. Now, I don't think he had an affair or cheated on me because he was a good guy in that regard, but I do think... that's where it started.

So sick or not, healthy or not, our relationship ended where it was always going to end. The worst, very worst thing though... was he was cowardly about it. He wanted out and never did a thing to either end or to fix things and he never once cared about how sick I was mentally after being physically ill. There were points I was completely suicidal and he just didnt get it. So I ended the relationship... and he got to play the injured soldier... and was 'hurt' and 'upset' by me. But not once did he try to help work things out, not once did he ask me to go to counselling... not once did he support me. By the time he left, I had pretty much worked out that I'd be better being miserable alone than being miserable with someone I had lost my hope and trust in. Even to this day, it still hurts... because this guy was my one love, the one person I'd grown up with and into. He was all I wanted and needed.... and he wasnt there when I was desperately ill and there were a couple times I was really close to dying.

I've written this coldly and without thinking - hoping it won't affect me so much but I can assure you, even today four years later... it still hurts.

October 21, 2008

My most painful breakup..? Hm. I'm not sure I can describe it without it bringing forth the pain and memories and I'm not sure that's your intention. Suffice to say, a year after I finished treatment (surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy) for an aggressive cancer... I asked my partner to leave. I couldn't deal with him any longer. We'd drifted so badly and it all began the moment I was diagnosed. He literally abandoned me. On my first treatment, he was in the USA working. He continued working there for nearly 6 of my 9 months treatment.

He did this despite his company offering him 6 months paid leave to take care of me. They figured he'd be useless to them anyhow and they'd be paying him sick leave if he went off sick due to stress... so rather than penalise him for his partner's illness by giving him a crappy sick record, they decided to help us and he refused.

So, instead, I was left to cope with my treatment alone .... and trust me, I had such a great time that if the cancer ever comes back, I've elected to die rather than endure treatment again. To add to that insult, I discovered 6 months after I asked him to go, he was living with a girl he worked with... who also happened to be on the same USA trip. Now, I don't think he had an affair or cheated on me because he was a good guy in that regard, but I do think... that's where it started.

So sick or not, healthy or not, our relationship ended where it was always going to end. The worst, very worst thing though... was he was cowardly about it. He wanted out and never did a thing to either end or to fix things and he never once cared about how sick I was mentally after being physically ill. There were points I was completely suicidal and he just didnt get it. So I ended the relationship... and he got to play the injured soldier... and was 'hurt' and 'upset' by me. But not once did he try to help work things out, not once did he ask me to go to counselling... not once did he support me. By the time he left, I had pretty much worked out that I'd be better being miserable alone than being miserable with someone I had lost my hope and trust in. Even to this day, it still hurts... because this guy was my one love, the one person I'd grown up with and into. He was all I wanted and needed.... and he wasnt there when I was desperately ill and there were a couple times I was really close to dying.

I've written this coldly and without thinking - hoping it won't affect me so much but I can assure you, even today four years later... it still hurts.

I can not be more sorry than i am now, to hear about the problems you have/had not even with your partner. He was never right to even be with you in the first place, if he doesn't care about the problems you have/had before he even got to you.

The only way that i forgot about my past girlfriend, was i basically forgot everything accidentally over night a few weeks ago. I can never thank god enough for this. Its hard to even recall her face and its only been a month. All of that, and not seeing her for a month has starved my heart of happiness, love, respect, and any other emotion. Leaving me udder sadness and a cold person. Of which, i still am

October 21, 2008

I've had some really nasty experiences. One became abusive and then a stalker for over two years and wouldn't go away even after multiple restraining orders. One night I went out with a friend because my phone wouldn't stop ringing (I was afraid) and when I came home I found his footprints in the snow on my garage roof leading to my bedroom window. He called to ask me for a ride to the hospital (before restraining orders) and then scared me until I pulled over.... took the keys from my hand and locked me in my own car for hours until I finally made a play for my keys and ended up locking him in with the alarm. We were miles from anywhere i could walk to. It took a long time to finally be able to drive to safety.

He came into my house when I was alone and woke me up demanding things that he decided were his - including a shirt I was wearing - demanded that I get half naked and not replace the shirt and when I refused he put my head through the wall. I had to get a knife and keep him from pulling the phone from the wall while I called the police. He killed my pets, I am glad they were fish and amphibians - not my cat.

I eventually moved to a place I thought he couldn't find me but I was wrong. I had to make new friends and change my whole life. No matter what I did he would find me and it would start all over again. He did anything he could to get close to new people I met in order to sabotage my life and make me "need" him. Another time he talked his way into my new apartment when I was not at home (I had to move several times) and used my phone to call himself so that when we went to court he could say that I was calling him. Another night he was in my yard with friends of his drinking on my back deck and I woke up at 1am hearing his voice and had to call for help to get him to leave. Yet another time we were in a club and he grabbed my hand as if to shake it (I didn't let him, he forced it) and put a cigarette out on my hand.

He kidnapped me out of a convenience store parking lot and held me hostage for an entire weekend until I told him that I would get back together with him. I wont even get into what he did to me while I was still with him and could not get away. I could go on for hours but I will not. Suffice to say - it was horrible and I wish it on no living being.

That was horrible. It chills me to read it as a friend many years ago went through a similar situation. She tried going throught he legal system but he never stopped. I'm not one to advocate violence but because she had a gun put to her head in front of her son at one point....she took matters into her own hands and hired someone to scare the life out of him. It worked.... he was terrified and never bothered her again. Nobody should take your freedom to live away from you like a crazy stalker.... sometimes you have to do whatever you can to make it stop.

October 23, 2008

Whats the worst part about all of this is that most people's lives just keep on going downhill from where they think is at its "worst". People don't know that it could just be the beginning to their problems

October 23, 2008

And here I thought my breakup of "Sorry, I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend" was bad....

Sorry Charlotte, that sounds like hell.

October 23, 2008

Well I have been ban two times from this particular forum for usin the word "whore".

The worst breakup I had occured roughly few months ago. It wasn't so bad as compared to that stalker story I just read but the similarities of another poster was enough to make me re-register on post my experience.

I was in a relationship, my GF would always complain, eventually she became confused, I had no idea what was wrong with her but it turns out she had "moved-on" and was cheating on me.

To make a long story short, she really didn't do anything per say, she just had sex with 2 men while we were together, I took her back the first time, she trieid to make it up + I only wanted to have sex with her.

As time progressed, she was growing more distant for unknown reasons and began to hate and resent me, for in her mind "not comminting" to her all the while she was cheating on me. Anyway in the end I tried to break up with her but I could not, I loved her to much, she ended up telling me to **** off, I eventually went mad 3 weeks later and drove by her house.

That was the end of that.

As am I am writing this I realize this doesn't seem like a bad break-up experience but trust me, I was destroyed for about 7 months, I only came to a few weeks ago. I wish I hadn't drove by her house, thats probably the only thing I regret in this relationship.

I wish I hadn't done that.... Thats the only thing an outsider viewing the situtation can hold against me and use it for the purposes of calling me "crazy" in conjuction with the lies she's probably telling people, I am probably viewed as a physco.

Now that I am 8 months removed the situtation, I honestly don't know how I feel about things. In the end it was never about me, it was about her, she just used me while I was nice to her. She then blamed me and started to brag about this new dude. Somehow I became the enemy, I honestly still don't understand it. All I can really say is, she's was a whore.

She pretended to be someone she was not and I foolishly believed her. Two-Face is the word that comes to mind. I was a total fool in that relationship. Never saw it coming.

October 23, 2008

my ex right now 3 years together engaged went away for a week to europe met some guy and screwed him three times. Then when I'm moving on finally this selfish pricks tzts me on wHat would be our third anniversary asking back for a two dollar notebook. Now she has a new bf literally the first guy who talked to her since she's been back. And what's worse I bet he doesn't know she's going back to Europe next year and wiki see that same guy she screwed.

October 23, 2008

I'm curious as to what your worst break up was. What did you do to try and get past and move on? was it easy to deal with the pain?

Worst break up was with my husband of 5 years....I'll make this short... We had a 3 year old and a 7 month old baby. Our marriage wasnt going well, he decided to have an affair, wanted a divorce, got his girlfriend pregnant while we were married and had twins! I got over it & my life is better in a lot of ways, it has been 2 years since, so theres hope for anyone that thinks they wont be able to get over someone

October 23, 2008

Holy cow tryng2trust!! i think anytime people are married and have kids its a whole other ball game... but when someone gets someone else pregnant while they are still married has to be pretty damned hellish thing to get over and im sorry to hear you went through that... glad to see you got over it...

October 25, 2008

Worst break up was with my husband of 5 years....I'll make this short... We had a 3 year old and a 7 month old baby. Our marriage wasnt going well, he decided to have an affair, wanted a divorce, got his girlfriend pregnant while we were married and had twins! I got over it & my life is better in a lot of ways, it has been 2 years since, so theres hope for anyone that thinks they wont be able to get over someone

Has everything else been alright since? i know that for anybody, i can imagine the pain of getting over this would be impossible to do.

October 28, 2008

I've described a particularly bad break up from roughly 5 years ago on another thread of similar title, but I'll answer the question 'what I did to get over it'... we just didn't talk. She was my first love but it wasn't a particularly long relationship.

The strange thing is, the breakup caused problems for me over a long period of time - I KNOW I was heartbroken. But I can't actually remember being heartbroken anymore. All I remember is the girl, and wonder what ever became of her. All the ill feelings have long since faded.

October 28, 2008

We were engaged and had been together in a committed relationship for six years. We had met in the Rocky Mountains, we had lived in Asia for two years, her mother called me "the son I never had", and our friend groups had integrated after all that time. Our wedding plans were nearly finalized and paid for.

Then she came to me one night, three months before the wedding date, and said she didn't want to get married. She was planning on visiting a friend in Calgary so the night before her flight we stayed at a beach bungalow, made love, and watched the sun rise over the ocean. I dropped her off at the airport, kissed her goodbye, and then she turned off her cell phone and I didn't hear from her for two months. She left all her stuff in our place. Her friends and family didn't have much info to give me.

Turns out she was having an affair and the guy had gone to Calgary as well. I found an email from him, sent months before, saying "Are we still on for the Calgary Stampede July 12?". That was our wedding date.

She called once in that time and bragged to me about how all these guys are hitting on her and she loved it. She's still with the guy, who is a 50 year old fisherman (she's 28) with 2 kids of his own. That one stung!

In hindsight I swear that she's mental.

How did I cope? I didn't at first. I was a complete mess. I packed up all her crap, then unpacked it, packed it again. After her phone call I went complete NC on her, except when she came to get her crap (I made sure I was at work that day).

After a few months I managed to get my feet back on the ground and dated a couple of girls but even today, six months down the road, there's still hurt and anger. Have I coped? I guess. I'm still alive. Will I ever forgive? I hope so, but I think I'll need to forget first.

October 29, 2008

sounds like you are better off without that guy. My most unusual break up, or whatever you want to call it, was with this guy, and at the time my mother was sick and dying of cancer, so I was gone every weekend, more so after they called hospice it which normally means they have 6 wks or less to live.

Anyway, since I worked all day, and gone on the weekends, this guy I was dating offered to cut my grass for me, keep in mind I did not ask. Since he was cutting my grass, he knew where the spare key was hidden, and guess what? He was staying at my house, without my knowledge, or permission, and lied about it on top of all that. My neighbor told me when I called her to tell her my mom passed away, she said he was there, and did not know that he was not supposed to be there.

So, naturally I got creeped out, broke up with him, and then has the balls to tell me that my thought process is messed up! I could go on and on, but the funny part is, he still calls me to this day, and my mom passed away over a year ago, I never answer the phone, and I never call him back.

I get the full body shiver when I think of him, totally creeped out.

October 30, 2008

well my worst breakup was my ex wife and i had been having troubles. i thought she was messing around on me, just couldn't catch her.so after work one day(it was my birthday) walked into the house w/ my uncle and said happy b/d and gave me a pint of jack.then said i'm leaving you for your uncle. and she did. so now my ex wifes my aunt.

October 31, 2008

then said i'm leaving you for your uncle. and she did. so now my ex wifes my aunt.

Ouch. That is one I haven't seen on LS yet. Do you still have to see her at family functions, etc?

October 31, 2008

no, she stays WAY far away from me. only see her at funerals(hopefully someday hers) alawys, and i mean always is looking down at her shoes when i'm around. sure do piss her off when i call her auntie though.

November 2, 2008

Wow i'm really sorry to hear, man. I'd never want to go to any family type thing if she is ever around. I really hope your doing fine otherwise

November 3, 2008

why not go to family functions? come on just use your imagation, and think of all the good things you can say:cool: believe me,after all these yrs. she's heard them all. plus i'm not a fan of backing down.

November 4, 2008

yeah i guess so. It just depends on how you look at the whole thing. Good luck with whatever happens in the future.

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