GoGators2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 So I'm going to see my friends that live 2 hours away for a few days, happens that my ex moved to the same city. We've been officially broken up for 3 wks and NC for 2 wks, she called me, I didn't pick up, she would say "how u doin" I'd say "I'm good" I guess not 100% NC but I never called/texted/emailed her, it was always her, and she tried contacting me three times in the last wk. I don't know if I love her anymore, but I know I don't wanna be with her because NC made me realize that I can do so much better for myself and our futures are in such different paths like I'm trying to move out of state to go to grad school in a year and I'll be busy studying before that taking classes while working full time, etc., so it'll never work out anyways. Should I call her and let her know that I'll be in town, and see if she wants to go grab a drink? Or, should I not let her know that I'm in town at all. I love her little cousins and I wanna take them to arcade and stuff like that so eventually she'll know that I was in town because they will tell her. The last week or so she's been trying to contact me and include herself in my life and I shut her out, so she's prolly a little pissed at me, but she did dump me so I really don't give a **** about how she feels to be honest. Any advice? Thanks.
Ronni_W Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Honestly, it sounds as if she needs some more time before she gets the message that you are done with her. So, I'd suggest to do what is kind for her...and leave her alone. Skip the visit with her "little cousins" this time, too. It is about acting with compassion, being kind to her, and not unnecessarily rubbing salt into her wounds. At least give her some time to let a more protective scab form. I know that you want to visit with her little cousins. But it is okay to forego fulfilling your own need this one time, in favour of facilitating healing within your ex. Do it just because you can, if you cannot find another reason.
Author GoGators2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Honestly, it sounds as if she needs some more time before she gets the message that you are done with her. So, I'd suggest to do what is kind for her...and leave her alone. Skip the visit with her "little cousins" this time, too. It is about acting with compassion, being kind to her, and not unnecessarily rubbing salt into her wounds. At least give her some time to let a more protective scab form. I know that you want to visit with her little cousins. But it is okay to forego fulfilling your own need this one time, in favour of facilitating healing within your ex. Do it just because you can, if you cannot find another reason. I'm just gonna go and hang out with her cousins and not call/talk to her. I can't just say no to them, they'll be heartbroken and they're 9.
Angel1111 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I think you need to say no to the cousins this time around. Just my thoughts. They'll get over it. Just say, "Not this time, but definitely next time." And, no, you should not call your xgf to let her know you'll be in town. Let her figure it out for herself. If you're done with her, don't do anything that will give her false hope. And just merely contacting her will do just that.
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