Warm Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: Hello Everybody. Here a quick synopsis of my story with my ex-gf Time together: 9 1/2 years Time Since Break up: 3 1/2 months NC - 1 Month How good was I to her during the breakup: I have been told that I was v good and have been dealing with it well. I think I sent her one angry text and had one angry phone call with her over the 6 weeks that i was in contact with her. I let her call me. Not bad for a relationship that long I think. I honestly think I handled it well. But who knows. I did accept responsibilty for what happened. And I didnt harass her. I love her too much to do that. Reason for breakup: 100% MY FAULT - No cheating & lying but I took her for granted etc. She is a real lady. Cant find fault with her no matter how hard I have tried. NB I won her back before after I had dumped her a few years ago (I was going through a rought time with depression). I did make promises etc.. and I did sort out alot of things.. but other things have come to light since I broke up.. see below. Stuff I have realised about myself since the breakup: I have ADD and had abandoned my dreams because of it. Dreams which she was attracted to no doubt. But they are being resurrected as we speak. ADD messed us up though. Hard for someone to deal with the way I can act (or not act) sometimes. Learning to deal with it myself now. I have to be able to sort this out myself without a helping hand before I am any use to any woman not just her, because I have to accept that she may never come back. I need to at least learn from my mistakes. How is life for me at the moment: Pretty good. I have been making lots of positive changes for myself. I am getting loads of interest from women, but Im not ready or interested to be with anyone yet. This year is not for shagging everything that moves its about achieving my dreams. Why the hell am I posting here:? Ok my dream involve music. She absolutely loves music, I love to make music... for years and years I have been told i am extremely talented but because of ADD it has lead to years of frustration of billion of unfinished tunes. I gave up! I have too many goddamn thoughts, ideas, melodies in my head to every want to finish something. All my friends are exaperated with me.. they see me as such a wasted talent. They dont understand why I am not frigging famous! Its funny how she broke up with me after I gave up on music for 2 years (to go back to college and ensure we had a secure financial future...). So now I have all this extra time on my hands.. and I know that I have ADD and its given me and answer to WHY i have been so unproductive and frustrated with this TALENT i have. It must have been really hurtfull for her to see me get pissed off with music and give up on it even though I did for us. So now.. i know I have ADD and i am learning how to *harness* it. This year I WILL achieve something with my music.. but I have to ask you for advice. Should I hide away for the year (NC) and make her an album. She was always there for me.. but i never even wrote a song for her or even gave here a song I had half finished. It was just too frustrating. My other option is to hide away for the year and make ME an album. - I know that this relationship broke down for other reasons. But if she can see me overcome the biggest frustration in my life and dedicate it to her what do you think that will tell her? - It has to be something that says thanks and will be treasured by her for the rest of her life if she ends up with me or not Is this the reason i was put on this planet?
Author Warm Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 NB. Option 1: Involves not letting her go untill I finish the album. But musicians thrive on a bit of pain. I bet it will sound alot better than option 2. But it will involve a few tears in the process. Ill need to hold onto memories if I am actually going to do this for her and not just make standard music. Option 2: Means letting go of her now, and feeling good about myself and achieving something regardless..but Ill be leaving her without the one thing I reckon she wanted from me. And then I'll end up meeting some other wonderfull woman and make her an album..
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