xfreakehx Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I am writing this to try and help out my partner, our relatiosnhip and the whole families relationship. She has 5 boys aged between 5 and 12. One child has been taken out of her care because he is in need of special care. He was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, autism and is still waiting on a clear diagnoses of Aspergers. He is soon to be 11, and when he was going through a lot of this would be rather violent somewhat toward his brothers. Then comes along the soon to be 12 yr old and only in the last 3 weeks has become very rebellious. He has tried to get his brothers into trouble throughout the last 5 months (approx) by lighting fires, throwing things at his mother and blaming the others. He was caught out red handed by me throwing a double adapter at his mothers head and still tried to deny it and blame his brothers even tho they were in fact sitting at a table and it came form his direction and I saw his hand throw it. Now within the past 3 weeks he has become violent and abusive. He says he hears voices in his head (only after me questioning him). His whole voice changes, his facial expressions. She has him booked into a paedatrician to get a him examined, is booking him councilling. She had past relationships where she was abused however the kids were quite young and never saw the abuse to my knowledge. He has run away 3-5 times in the past 3 weeks, he will not follow simple instructions like it's time to have a bath or bed time. He will quite literally throw himself down lik a 2 yr old tantrum and will not do it unless instructed by his grandmother (to which i will say is a bad influence because she spoils him rotten above all the other 4 children, speaks absolute crap about his mother). He was diagnosed June this yr with an intellectual disability. He acts very immature for his age, and the sad fact is my 2 yr old son acts more appropriate than he does. He doesnt seem to have the cognative ability to understand simple instructions. I am just trying to look for some advice, not a diagnoses and whether or not someone else has ever been in this predicament. He is in general a very loving and caring child who has a heart of gold will go out of his way to do anything he can to help you, it's just consistantly as of late his moods have changed totally and for the worse. He is non respondent, he will not negotiate on any level he just thinks he should charge at the other kids and he becomes really insane to a point where it's obviously uncontrollable both on his and everyone elses part. Any advice etc would be greatly appreciated.
quankanne Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 the pediatrician visit ought to rule out certain diagnoses, and the counseling will be of HUGE help, so it's good knowing your honey acted immediately, because the boy will get help more quickly (one hopes) as for you and mom, know that whatever is triggering this isn't his complete personality, even though it may overshadow the "good child" – let him know that even when y'all are upset or disappointed by his behavior, the love you feel for him is unwavering, because I think every kid wants to know that no matter how bad he/she can be, his family loves him.
ed-205 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 If this is an unusual pattern of behavior that has just occurred within the past few weeks, it might be advisable to examine if recent changes in diet, school/play activities, or other seemingly unrelated circumstances might be the cause for it.
Geishawhelk Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I think it is of vital importance that you get professional help, both medical and psychological, as soon as possible. Could I just draw everyone's attention to this pinned thread....One of the Moderators saw fit to post it some time ago, and it's spot on. It's a while old, but I'm sure everyone will agree in these circumstances, worth bearing in mind. We're all behind you here, xfreak, and cannot begin to imagine the trauma this is causing. Everyone here will be extremely supportive, and give a lot of really good counsel. The upheaval and distress must be momentuous. By all means keep posting (please!) for support and friendship. But go the professional route ASAP.....
Eve Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I am just trying to look for some advice, not a diagnoses and whether or not someone else has ever been in this predicament. He is in general a very loving and caring child who has a heart of gold will go out of his way to do anything he can to help you, it's just consistantly as of late his moods have changed totally and for the worse. He is non respondent, he will not negotiate on any level he just thinks he should charge at the other kids and he becomes really insane to a point where it's obviously uncontrollable both on his and everyone elses part. Any advice etc would be greatly appreciated. A colleague of mine at work described something simular to the behaviours you describe with regard to his partners child. He did not know the young boy in question at the time because he is in a new relationship but apparently it is now difficult to ever imagine him being out of control. The difficult period occured betwen the age of 8 - 12 years old and he was eventually diagnosed with mild tourettes and AHDH. He is a lovely, sensitive boy who know can manage without medication. I am sure that the medical care advice you receive will be spot on.. All the best. Keep loving him and keep to clear boundaries - you can get through this. I would be interested to know what the Paediatrician diagnoses.
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