Isolde Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 It's hard for me to draw the line. You can find a lot of info online but it's hard to know whether something is a redflag or not until actually meeting the person and seeing what vibes you get from them. Also, it's hard to get chemistry just with photos. I also find that guys on craigslist take the whole thing wayyyy too seriously and get really upset if you stop responding to them.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Being an online dater in itself is a red flag to me I like it when you meet someone randomly and you get that initial spark, hit it off and exchange numbers. Just cannot see exchanging a list of attributes via computer followed by a business like meeting being anything resembling fun, and why someone would want to do it - insta red flag.
Author Isolde Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 It's not like I've not tried the meeting randomly thing... its just I'm trying to see what's out there. But yeah, I'm probably going to stop online dating because it's not working for me at all
Nemo Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Hi!!!! Wanna chat? Me and my peeps are on IRC channel #sexsexsex, so come on over and have some fun!
Author Isolde Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Hi!!!! Wanna chat? Me and my peeps are on IRC channel #sexsexsex, so come on over and have some fun! LOL Yeah I get a lot of responses saying "Hey call me at 555-5555 for agood time" why those people expect to get any responses back is beyond me.
bigmanpayne Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Being an online dater in itself is a red flag to me I like it when you meet someone randomly and you get that initial spark, hit it off and exchange numbers. Just cannot see exchanging a list of attributes via computer followed by a business like meeting being anything resembling fun, and why someone would want to do it - insta red flag. hey i am a single parent of 2.5 kids with a job and a side business. i find online dating helpful and easier for me to meet people. don't knock online daters. as long as you are careful there is nothing wrong with it in my eyes.
V.Vixen Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Being an online dater, in an of itself, is not a bad thing. Nowadays it is one of the only ways to meet new people f you are busy and not in a huge city. That said, craigslist freaks me out. I don't know why, but I get a creepo vibe from it. I am careful about who I meet. I talk to the guy for a while, find out info on him, ALWAYS tell a friend to check up with me while on the date and afterwards (there should never be an exception to this rule, always have someone on standby!), and I always meet the guy at a public location for the first 2 or 3 dates. If you go through a reputable site it is no more weird than meeting a random guy at the grocery store.
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Using Craigslist to meet people for romantic relationships is in and of itself a read-flag, IMO. It's honestly the bottom of the barrel when it comes to sites to use for dating.
V.Vixen Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Using Craigslist to meet people for romantic relationships is in and of itself a read-flag, IMO. It's honestly the bottom of the barrel when it comes to sites to use for dating. see. I agree. It skeeves me out just thinking about it. There are some really scary people on there. I actually go on there to pull ads as a joke sometimes. Please at least use a site like okcupid.com or plentyoffish.com, and if you can afford it use match.com or eharmony.
SushiX Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I'm not picky at all. She'd have to look somewhat decent to me and talk over the phone and get to know her before meeting up. I got my profile on several dating sites, but not craigslist. Craigslist seems like a place for those looking for sex. Ain't my thing.
norajane Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 hey i am a single parent of 2.5 kids with a job and a side business. i find online dating helpful and easier for me to meet people. don't knock online daters. as long as you are careful there is nothing wrong with it in my eyes. Have you had any long term relationships start out online? Something that became serious? If you go through a reputable site it is no more weird than meeting a random guy at the grocery store. I met a guy at the grocery store this weekend!
Trialbyfire Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Extremely picky - I don't do online dating. Neither do I. It's like catalogue shopping. Craigslist is like catalogue shopping in the bargain basement department.
bigmanpayne Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Have you had any long term relationships start out online? Something that became serious? not looking for long term but have a few serious relationships if you want to call them that. also had some nightmares of course.
Bells Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Being an online dater in itself is a red flag to me I like it when you meet someone randomly and you get that initial spark, hit it off and exchange numbers. Just cannot see exchanging a list of attributes via computer followed by a business like meeting being anything resembling fun, and why someone would want to do it - insta red flag. So if you found out a guy you met out in public, had participated in an online dating site...that would be a red flag for you??
Shygirl15 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 LOL Yeah I get a lot of responses saying "Hey call me at 555-5555 for agood time" why those people expect to get any responses back is beyond me. You must be using a wrong website.
Bells Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I noticed some people are so picky that I've emailed some people that weren't all that much to write home about in the physical appearance area....probably average looking or needed improvement in certain aspects...even THEY would be non-responsive. It's funny how even the average looking or not-so-great looking single people want the hunks and hotties, but someone that's equal to them in looks and appearance contacts them, they aren't interested.
Shygirl15 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I noticed some people are so picky that I've emailed some people that weren't all that much to write home about in the physical appearance area....probably average looking or needed improvement in certain aspects...even THEY would be non-responsive. It's funny how even the average looking or not-so-great looking single people want the hunks and hotties, but someone that's equal to them in looks and appearance contacts them, they aren't interested. Not necessarily, Bells. There are times I didn't respond to guys when I thought they're out of my league in higher status.
SushiX Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Coming from a guy who has a profile on pretty much all the dating sites, here are some things I've noticed: 1. There are more men than women 2. Some women post profile for fun, not looking for anything serious. 3. Some women are there just to answer the dating questionaires because its fun? 3. Women are picky when it comes to online dating, yes even the ugly ones. 4. Women don't come online as often as men. 5. If you want to get their attention, you better be good looking or write something extremely creative to get a response.
Author Isolde Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 I've ignored guys for reasons other than looks... bad spelling, they say something stupid or that I absolutely dont like, or just a feeling were incompatible
Shygirl15 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Coming from a guy who has a profile on pretty much all the dating sites.. I find that interesting.
joshaz Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I'm very picky about who I meet from the 'net. So far I've rejected everyone that has asked.
D-Jam Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I am careful about who I meet. I talk to the guy for a while, find out info on him, ALWAYS tell a friend to check up with me while on the date and afterwards (there should never be an exception to this rule, always have someone on standby!), and I always meet the guy at a public location for the first 2 or 3 dates. If you go through a reputable site it is no more weird than meeting a random guy at the grocery store. I agree with this. I think the problem with online dating is that it creates a clashing between the genders in how they handle things. Men are all about the pursuit and the win...even if they don't want to be. We're pushed to make something happen quick under the guise that if we snooze, we lose. We men message a lot of women, and get maybe 1 response for every 10-100 women we message. Even then we're under a small tight window to make it happen, because even good email conversation will suddenly just end with no reason, leaving us wondering "what happened?" Women on the other hand, are constantly under caution. Not only do they fear meeting some psychotic loser, but even they fear meeting some guy that just doesn't set their chemistry sparks ablaze. Number one complaint from women on these dating sites is how many men seem very pushy in getting to a first date, when maybe they want to email for a while and get to know one another. This of course is brought about by the pressure men have to make it happen ASAP or get pushed aside. It doesn't help also that a lot of "children" sign up on these sites. I'm talking about men and women who choose emotional outbursts over rational logic and good manners. So the girl who goes on one date with a guy tells said guy the day after that she's not feeling it, and then you'll see him turn into a little boy and start calling and texting her "bitch" and "whore" because he didn't get her. Same deal when a very fat women messages a guy and he doesn't reply...so she's writing him nasty emails saying how shallow he is. Many men and especially women have their finger on that delete account button, ready to give at the first sign of trouble. It's no wonder so many stay away from online dating and even choose to be alone for life than try it. Was I picky when I tried online dating? Not really. Only things I stayed away from were very obese women, single moms, women who apparently showed a lot of baggage or issues in their writing, and women who just lived too far away. I emailed a lot of women, but didn't get much in terms of results. My disdain for the sites is what SushiX said. There are way more women than men on those sites, and most women who are good looking and have their lives together will not use the sites, and those on it will know they are the quality...so they will be selective since they have loads of guys trying to get them. I sent out loads of emails, got very little responses, and just backed off. I met my current girlfriend through a friend. This is why I tell men to not bother and just build social capital. Friends, people they hang with, just meet people...especially other couples...for the sake of friends and nothing more. Eventually someone will know someone else and want to play matchmaker. The goal is to make friends you will see socially for no real reason. Social Capital. I'm not talking about joining singles groups, because those seem to also end up being the same problem as online dating...only in person. Just do things, join things, make it about something else beyond dating...and eventually someone comes along. I pretty much was living a bachelor life content in the idea that I'd be alone for the rest of my life....that's when she came along. Strange how that always happens. If you choose to do online dating, take it slow. Email, chat, get to know before dating. If a man or woman is going to vanish because you're not wanting to get together yet after a few emails, then it speaks loudly how much this person more just wants anyone and not the right person.
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