smosch Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 So, my thread is the breakup boards, but that's not what I want. It's been a few days and I'm feeling okay. It hurts, and I know we both love each other. Our actions toward eachother sometimes became unbearable, so we decided our love needs to be postponed. She said, "it's not the right time or situation. It wasn't healthy. If anything, I am gonna need time, lots and lots of time" So I know we could make it work, but I am going to take this time off to change, and find myself without seeming too desperate. I'm asking how can I go about winning her back slowly but surely, without asking her to say, "Yes, we will get back together eventually." I want to prove her, and I want her to be able to tell her mom that her mom needs to let her get back with me again. I am a firm believer of 1-love, and I have found it. Is staying friends, and then waiting, confessing how I feel and have changed, and trying to start new maybe about half a year from now a good thing? Would just changing, (which I will) and then letting her come back to me if she truly loves me be better? Thanks again - James!!!
SRV Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Don't mean to be rude, herein lies your answer from your post: "She said, "it's not the right time or situation. It wasn't healthy. If anything, I am gonna need time, lots and lots of time" Move on, maintain NC, it was meant to be it will be but do not count on it. Once a girl is gone, trust me, they are gone.
BCCA Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 James, there a couple of obstacles here. The first, and most important thing to remember is that you have to consider this a done deal, if nothing else than for your own sanity. You really have to do your best to try and not confuse what she said with reality. 99% of people are going to be as vague as possible about the breakup, and blame it on outside circumstances to obsolve themselves from feeling guilty (i.e. ' not the right time') Don't kid yourself, though, why would anyone who felt like they met the right one be willing to take a chance on losing them forever? They wouldnt unless they weren't convinced that you were the right one. Staying friends is a bad call, too. She wont miss you if youre always right there. You pretty much have to leave her with the bed she made by breaking up with you. She cant have her cake and eat it too, because then she'll not only lose respect for you, you'll lose respect for yourself. The absolute best thing to do is to work on yourself, stay away from contacting her, and let whatever happens fall into place. Never, EVER, put all your eggs in one basket, or bank on anything changing. Honestly, MOST women are done before they actually pull the trigger on the breakup, and very few come back. Actions speak louder than words. Watch what she does, and pretty much take what she says with a grain of salt.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Don't mean to be rude, herein lies your answer from your post: "She said, "it's not the right time or situation. It wasn't healthy. If anything, I am gonna need time, lots and lots of time" Move on, maintain NC, it was meant to be it will be but do not count on it. Once a girl is gone, trust me, they are gone. Once a girl is gone she's gone. true that. SHe cannot have her cake and eat it to. She doesn't get your personality and good traits anymore. She gave that up when she broke up with you. NO puppydog friend. Nothing. She didn't want that anymore, and she let you know. Go cold turkey on her. GO NC. Silence is sweet revenge. I have been in it 3 1/2 weeks. I get stronger the longer I wait.
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