atzorvas Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Ok so a brief background- I went out with this girl for 2 years, towards the end our relationship lost the spark, I kinda lost interest and wasn't fair to her. She felt angry and neglected and very resentful. She dumped me. I did all the txt/call terrorism out of hurt and regret..thought I'd lost her for good. She told me many times she had NO feelings for me at all. 3 months passed...extremely limited contact (via txts and 1-2 calls). I stopped hurting after a month or two although I thought about her almost every day What just happened- Past weekend she came back to town, and called me and was extremely flirty. We went out for coffee with friends in the night, next day we went out for lunch and spent a lot of time toghether. She told me she still loves me and wants me as a boyfriend again. I realized I still having feelings for her and I agreed. I also told her we need to have 'the talk' about everything thats happened..and we are planning to doing that next week. What do you all think? I don't know why she has suddenly opened up after telling me she has no feelings and that we are done for good..I don't want to be hurt again. How do you all think I should go about with 'the talk'? It feels good to have her back but I'm also afraid that this will happen again or how the future will play out. Many thanks for reading and I will highly appreciate your input =)
BackonTrack Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Act as if nothing happen. Seems like she is willing to work it out. Looks like she took time out of the relationship to get healed and is now ready to start things up again. You both want to be together, so take it slow, spend time, have sex, get comfortable again. Don't neglect her this time, suprise her with gifts and random presents every so often. Talk about what YOU WANT Ask her what She wants. Ask her what are her needs. Ask her where she see's herself in 5 years. Ask her questions so you can see where is at mentally.
Caitlan Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Talk and keep communications open and talk about what happened at some point is she is open to it. Did you ever figure out why you lost interest before? Has this happened with other women... where the spark just went away for no reason? If you don't know why something happened in the past then without that knowldege the past can become the future and it might happen again. Was it something that was missing? Something that she did that bugged you? You gotta try to figure it out it especially if you think it will happen again.
Author atzorvas Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Hey Thx guys, so we did have somewhat of a talk.. she says that she loves me and that I'm the best person she has ever met..but she also needs "validation" to make sure I'm the one, and that she also needs to change herself before "fully committing to me" I do like her but I don't like the feeling of being a 'back-up' lover...
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