Kelso Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Hey everyone - Sometimes in life you hear things that you don't want to hear. About 2 weeks ago I was partying with my best friends girlfriend and other people. My best friend was at work and couldn't be with us. They have been together for about 2 years now and have a beautiful little baby boy whose first birthday is in few weeks. First when they were dating - I was quite skeptical, as I knew a lot about her slutty background. The fact is that she becomes extremely horny when she's drunk and I know numbers of guys that she's been with for the past years (I've known her longer than my friend). Let's go back to the party two weeks ago. She was very drunk and wanted to talk to me privately. She told me that she cheated on my best friend with a guy from her school. I told her that she was gonna have to tell him about it, or I would do it. Now I am in the position that she has not told him about it and I don't know what to do. Of course I don't want to tell my best friend that his girlfriend and mother of his child is cheating on him. It would probably ruin his life and will have major influence on the future of the child. On the other side, if one of my friends knew that my girlfriend was cheating on me I definitely would want to know. Of course he might forgive her - but then she would probably hate me for the rest of my life and it might influence the friendship between me and my friend. So I ask you dear Loveshackers ... what the heck should I do???
Green Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 seriously you should have known nothing good would come from hearing her tell you a secret and should have refused to hear it. This is a really tough one but it should be pretty obvious to him what kind of girl she is and for you to come in and tell him well it could just be a bad situation. I say stay out of it. And really she shouldn't tell him whats the point she should just stop acting stupid
Geishawhelk Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 You realise that you are in a potentially lose-lose situatiuon. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. You contact her and tell her again: "Either you tell him, by the end of this week - and I want him to tell me, you've told him, so's I know you have 'fessed up - or if I don't hear from him by next saturday, I will spll the beans myself. I'm serious about this. Which would you prefer?" If she protests, tell him anyway. Then butt right out and stay out of it. Only time will tell, but I don't envy you, Bro', not one little bit. But to my mind, that's the Right Thing to do.
Jilly Bean Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Mind your business. Most likely if you tell him, and he confronts her, she will deny it, and then you will lose your friend. Crappy situation for sure, but you don't know how much truth was in her drunken revelation.
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Most likely if you tell him, and he confronts her, she will deny it, and then you will lose your friend.. I don't think he'll lose his friend, just his girlfriend. Crappy situation for sure, but you don't know how much truth was in her drunken revelation. En vino veritas?
Green Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 seriously dude just stay out of it, its none of your business.
Stockalone Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 So I ask you dear Loveshackers ... what the heck should I do??? You know your friend and you propably have some idea on how he thinks about this sort of thing. You said you would want to know, as would I. With that in mind, I do not believe you could stomach to face your friend and not tell him, act like nothing has changed. What would you think about a friend who knew but never told you that your gf cheated on you? I couldn't be a coconspirator, that is why I have told and would do so again. Your situation is more difficult because there is also a child involved. However, I would rather lose a friend than cover for a cheater. I agree with Geishawalk on this: "Either you tell him, by the end of this week - and I want him to tell me, you've told him, so's I know you have 'fessed up - or if I don't hear from him by next saturday, I will spll the beans myself. I'm serious about this. Which would you prefer?"
Okeydokey Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 it is not your place to tell your friend and get involved in his relationship... unsolicited. if she is cheating, he probably suspects or knows (especially given her past). he has made the choice to stay and to ignore that it is going on. they have reached a balance and your friend has made personal choices about what flaws he can and cannot tolerate in his partner. so, i would say that you should not get involved. the only person that will come up the loser will be you. the g/f will have a really good story to explain why you are confused and why you are making up stories about her, and since your friend has decided to turn a blind eye to it - he will believe her and will be angry with you. in sum, you should only talk to him about it if he comes to you and asks you if you know anything. if at that point he asks you why you didnt say anything sooner you can say that you felt that it was not your place to get involved, you assumed that he knew given the g/f history, and had decided to ignore it.
Tony T Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Now I am in the position that she has not told him about it and I don't know what to do. Of course I don't want to tell my best friend that his girlfriend and mother of his child is cheating on him. It would probably ruin his life and will have major influence on the future of the child. You are in no such position. You don't have to do anything! DON'T SPEAK A WORD OF THIS. Get away from the situation and engage no more. Why would you want to be a party to this kind of drama. I promise you, if you brought it up you would be the bad guy anyway. If this gal slept with somebody, it was most likely a one time deal. She told you in confidence and you must keep your word. Go and just keep your mouth closed for all time. This advice goes for all things which you may become eager to flap your jaw about. You will save yourself some major grief in life if you don't gossip...whether it's true or not.
Jilly Bean Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I don't think he'll lose his friend' date=' just his girlfriend.[/quote'] You really think he's going to take the word of his friend over the mother of his child? People go into major denial over things like this. The guy will WANT to believe his gf, and the OP's intrusion into his life will cause a major wedge in their friendship. I still vote he stay out of it.
allina Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Absolutely tell your friend! You owe it to him. Plus, one day he'll find out anyways, the truth always comes out. Picture how betrayed he'd feel is he found out that you knew and kept such information from him. What did the gf say after you told her you were going to tell?
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