jefferino Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I was with her for almost 4 years. It was extremely special for a long time. After about the third year things started changing. Her brother died, unexpectedly and she eventually cheated on me. I can't seem to get over the way we broke up. And the subsequent paths we've both taken. She's now living with some dude that ironically she works with and I'm just kinda floating through life by myself. And its depressing. The thing that keeps the pain constantly alive is the way we've interacted the last 9 months. After about 4 months she expressed she missed me and still had feelings for me, and we almost got back together. But she got cold feet and ran back to her guy. More recently she's told people that we are soul-mates, and she wants to be with me but she's stuck in a situation with her 'live-in-boyfriend-coworker" So upon calling her on what I thought was reliable information she tells me that there is still something there but people do take "long breaks". Implying that we are on some long break while she lives with someone else. Ive also learned that the guy she's with is nothing like me. He's just a serious, straight faced kinda dude, who isn't very attractive. (I would've preferred her dump me for some stud guy so i'd at least know it was an attraction based separation) But I also see the control that she's putting on the situation....part of me wants to be back in her arms because I enjoyed the times we spent, she was my best friend...part of me wants to tell her to !@#$ off. I haven't spoke to her for about a week so I think NC is definitely in order. But I can't help but think deep down inside she loves me. I just can't shake the feeling that I KNOW one day she's going to come back...Any thoughts?
wmast Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Hmm. I'm in a similar situation. All I can say is that actions speak louder than words. My ex left me for another guy 5 months ago then came back saying she made the BIGGEST mistake of her life, she wanted a 2nd chance and that she would leave the guy for me. That never happened. Her actions (staying with him) spoke louder than her words (her expressing undying love for me). So as a result, I've gone NC and I think you should too. Until her actions show you otherwise, don't budge. If she TRULY wanted to be with you she'd leave the other guy and show you that she's serious about reuniting. Just my thoughts. Good luck
EmperorR Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Hmm. I'm in a similar situation. All I can say is that actions speak louder than words. My ex left me for another guy 5 months ago then came back saying she made the BIGGEST mistake of her life, she wanted a 2nd chance and that she would leave the guy for me. That never happened. Her actions (staying with him) spoke louder than her words (her expressing undying love for me). So as a result, I've gone NC and I think you should too. Until her actions show you otherwise, don't budge. If she TRULY wanted to be with you she'd leave the other guy and show you that she's serious about reuniting. Just my thoughts. Good luck 100% truth
CaliGuy Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Yep. Words mean nothing. Action tells you where her heart is. If I were you, I'd move on with my life and go complete NC with her. If she REALLY wanted to be with you she would have left the other guy a long time ago.
trueblue72ny Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I agree with Cali. not only that but it seems to me maybe she just wants you as a backup while she runs around. and if her running around falls apart, well theres always good old faithful you waiting on the back burner. sorry, dont mean to sound harsh, but maybe you should seriously consider at least trying to date someone else and see how you feel. are you going to feel ok about it if she comes back? will be be able to trust her again????
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