Loss 4 words Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 So I've be encountering "issues" recently and wanted to gauge what others who may have an idea of what's going on opinions are......I can say off the bat that i may suspect something is going on but i don't have any proof....so here's a list of the things i've noticed recently: 1. She was acting normal until i asked if a friend of hers had tried anything ( inappropriate touching etc....) that night and she said no, but then got REALLY QUIET like was gonna cry, but kept telling me nothing was wrong when i asked. 2. Says that we have no secrets yet kept putting me 'on hold' while on the phone and i could hear her talking really softly to her friends in the background....of about an hour she only talked to me about 20 minutes or so... 3.She's 'buttering me up' more than usual. 4.She was very distractable--talking online to a couple people while talking to me on the phone....kept losing her train of thought. 5. She seemed like she was more interested in one of her g/f than talking to me 6.She quite often is scared of me walking away from the relationship. 7. Asked me the question " What would I do if another man was interested in her ??" --I asked why and she said "just asking" ---{see question #9 } 8.Said she thinks she loves me more than she should for only knowing me a couple months. 9. An old co-worker contacted her and he started trying to get her to break up with me and be with him....(awile into it she finally told me who it was and what he was doing and i got wicked heated....she said to her friend that "i shouldn't have told him cuz now he's mad") --This is in reference of question #7 cause she DID have a valid reason to ask....but didn't tell me the truth... Are ANY of these things a sign of things to come and what are some ideas on how to deal with them....yes, i do still have trust issues (thanks to my ex-g/f) and am known by ALL to be too trusting and naieve to things around me....but am working hard to start questioning things and growing as a person......
quankanne Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 she sounds more than a little bit immature, IMO, and you need to cut to the chase and ask what the heck is going on in her little world. Because keeping you tied up on the phone for an hour without really talking to you, acting scared that you're gonna dump her but then ignoring you to talk to friends? That's not really very respectful.
GPFan Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 It appears she would like to end the relationship and is uncomfortable with the idea of confronting it directly. Her plan may be to exasperate you to the point where you decide to end the relationship and then behave as if she is mortally wounded and allowed to say, "I knew you were going to do this!" I smell a setup here, please don't fall for it should you decide to end the relationship. Perhaps a no contact plan would be initiated at that point as there will be no need for further manipulation.
raclar Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I agree that there seems to be something lacking as far as communication goes. I can't guess at what may be going on with her end of things, but maybe you could bring up all the issues with her and talk about it.. just say you've noticed some odd things lately and you'd like to talk about it. Getting answers from her will be better than being in the dark and trying to guess what she's REALLY thinking/doing.
shykitty Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I think you should go with your gut feelings. If you feel that the interest is dropping, you might be on to something. Either talk to her about it or move on..but do not act like nothing has happened..because you must address the issue that is making you feel uncomfortable.
Author Loss 4 words Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Update: Sure enough my gut feeling was right..... I found out this early this morning....and For the sake of keeping it simple let's say that when she and her girlfriend were "doing mutal things" her (guy) friend was around and watching ( supposedly he was also watching the games on TV) and we'd talked about a month ago and i told her straight out that if he even watched that it would make me really uncomfortable....yet she did it anyways....so that's what i'm thinkin was distracting her.... I'm really not sure what happens now....we're trying to work through it, but it's really hard to forget that she betrayed me by lying in the first place THEN admiting to what i consider cheating....I know had i been there it'd been ok, but i wasn't..... I don't have a problem with her and her girlfriend doing that stuff....but not with some other guy watching..... After she told me this, she started to "butter me up" yet the more she did the more sick to my stomach i got....i kept thinking " If you love me the way you say you do, it wouldn't of happened in the first place....."-----She wants to know how she can make it up to me for what I consider cheating by crossing the boundries that we set up before hand so stuff like this wouldn't happen..... I am also internally questioning what ELSE took place that she's not telling me about....but i won't get into that...not yet. But what's done is done and we'll see what happens from here....it just seems that whenever an issue comes up stemming from something she does her first reaction is to tell me that if i wanna walk away she'd understand.....is that a hint that she's done with me but doesn't wanna do the breaking up part ??
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