Gold Pile Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I've been looking after my elderly Aunt's house while she's away. Her property encloses the "climeable" side of a large rock formation. It's pretty tall, not well known but she still gets the occasional climber's request to access it. In our youth my cousin Bob and I tried to lure girls up there but none would make the climb. Friday an attractive lady came asking permission to access the "rock". I told her the owner only permitted solo climbers (actually she never grants anyone permission) to use her property. She said she always climbs solo and we agreed that I'd leave the gate open for her on Saturday. When we were kids we found that we could get up the rock by going up a ladder then pulling the ladder up to a ridge then going up the ladder to the next ridge.... basically 3 ladder climbs and a few feet of hand climbing. Saturday morning (B4 the climber lady arrived) I lugged a little picnic gear up to the flat top. Still 3 ladder climbs but I was much more tired and winded when I reached the top than I was as a kid. I figure the rock must have gotten taller over the years. Via ropes I pulled up the grill etc and managed to hurt my back too. (I think grills are heavier now). For her (climbing with spikes and ropes..no ladder) it was a 45 minute climb. When she reached the top she found me toasting marshmallows and offering to put a burger on the grill for her. She seemed hesitant so I decided to approach her with a the toasty Marshmallow...who can turn that down? I groaned and grimaced as I stood up and felt my back pain. The marshmallow caught on fire so I waved it's stick vigorously to extinguish it. I approached with a stiff backed (almost Frankenstein-like) gait, waving the flaming stick and grunting. She claimed she was running late and started back down. I looked over the edge and was glad that the fall had put out the fire before the marshmallow landed on her shoulder. She screamed. I tried to yell an apology but a only a groan came out as I was hit with a harsh jolt of back pain. She screamed again. I finished my picnic, then rested my back for an hour before the painful decent. I had to leave my Aunt's grill and cooler up there.
Nemo Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 So let's get this straight - she climbed on top, but you ended up doing most of the work? That's most unnatural. Then again, it took her 45 minutes to come, so I think she had a great time, and she'll remember you for a long while. Perhaps what struck me as the most impressive, is that it's getting harder with age. That one I never expected.
Nemo Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Sorry, but this will probably be my final post on this thread. I kind of thought the OP's story was funnier than my comments, though. I guess I underestimate myself sometimes.
johan Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I think it didn't happen. The story is a metaphor for something.
Nemo Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I think it didn't happen. The story is a metaphor for something. Don't splatter her with your hot, white, gooey stuff on the first date? You might be right.
2sunny Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Don't splatter her with your hot, white, gooey stuff on the first date? especially disappointing if she screams when it hits her shoulder!
Nemo Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 especially disappointing if she screams when it hits her shoulder! Yes, and she had just started to go down. The timing was all wrong.
sam light Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Your dating failures are better than my dating sucesses. or something like that.
Author Gold Pile Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 This is hilarious! More, more!! :D Old Nemo found all the double meanings that were so cleverly unintended.
sunshinegirl Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Creative story but pretty clearly not true on the merits. I'm a climber. Either the rock was so low to the ground that she could boulder it (without ropes and without need for a belayer), or it had height and she therefore needed ropes, gear, and a second person to belay her.
Author Gold Pile Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Creative story but pretty clearly not true on the merits. I'm a climber. Either the rock was so low to the ground that she could boulder it (without ropes and without need for a belayer), or it had height and she therefore needed ropes, gear, and a second person to belay her. Your expertise aside, the story is quite true. I have no climbing training at all but I climbed it my way....so they can call me a climber. It seemed she has climbed B4 but is she a certified sherpa trained licensed climber with a Phd in climbology?..... or an amatuer who wouldn't know a belay from a hole in my you know what?
Author Gold Pile Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 [/b] especially disappointing if she screams when it hits her shoulder!I never could aim very well.
Author Gold Pile Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 ... The story is a metaphor for something.Hi johan, I'm not deep enough for that. Wish I was:)
climbergirl Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Creative story but pretty clearly not true on the merits. I'm a climber. Either the rock was so low to the ground that she could boulder it (without ropes and without need for a belayer), or it had height and she therefore needed ropes, gear, and a second person to belay her. I believe him. Sounds like she was rope soloing and she wouldn't need a second person-just gear like a grigri or silent partner. That chick has some b@lls.
Author Gold Pile Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 I believe him. Sounds like she was rope soloing and she wouldn't need a second person-just gear like a grigri or silent partner. That chick has some b@lls.I like to think she didn't have balls!
Author Gold Pile Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 She just wasn't into you. She didn't really give me a chance, but I blame that on my fluke back injury, it hindered my charm;). I'm very sad that nobody has asked how my back is. "Don't cha care...don't cha even care"? It hurt till late Tuesday, seems fine now.
sam light Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 I believe him. Sounds like she was rope soloing and she wouldn't need a second person-just gear like a grigri or silent partner.Where can I rent this adult flick? Sounds kinky!
Recommended Posts