goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Well, we've been dating for nearly 3 years and shes still having trouble saying good bye to me.She says to me get ready at 11:30 p.m and by the time I get to my car it' 11:45 and by the time I get home midnight and it's on a Saturday night.It's just that she's being possessive and I just don't like it at all. She used have me get ready at 11:20 pm and whatever happened to that I just don't feel comfortable when she does this to me.It's like I'm being controlled when I can leave.If I tell her when I want to leave she gets all defensive so I let her do it but to me the more she does it that I push her away and she wonders why. I mean come on do women really have trouble saying good bye to guys if they found the right one to be with.It's not my fault that shes being this way.And I get all upset because of it because I can't eave when i want.
Konfuzion Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 You had better sit down with her and talk about this and nip it in the butt before it turns into resentment (even though it sounds like it might have already) Tell her your a grown man and you will get ready and leave when you want too, end of story.
rod_in_gtown Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 So, let me get this straight... you're complaining because your gf wants to spend time with you and doesn't want you to leave? Honestly... You should break up with her and let someone else value her affection that you're obviously wasting.
Geishawhelk Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 you've done this for 3 years? Sounds like she may have gotten used to having her own way, undoing it now is going to be a toughie - because you've let her get away with it, and gone along with it.... be rational in your discussion, and don't lose your temper. Because she may well do so.
Author goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 OK, I try to talk to her but I can't and she only sees me once a week maybe and I saw her like 4 times in one week about a week ago it's like not good enough.I just don't why shes being this way.
Geishawhelk Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 So what is it exactly you'd like to do about this?
Author goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 Well, she always had trouble saying good by to me. Maybe try to compromise or something and I'm not all that experienced in relationships and I never been in one longer than 1.5 years.It's getting to a point where I have no control when I can leave, and it's like why me?
Author goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 So, let me get this straight... you're complaining because your gf wants to spend time with you and doesn't want you to leave? Honestly... You should break up with her and let someone else value her affection that you're obviously wasting. Explain to me why I'm wasting affection from her maybe I'm not used to it and shes over doing it. I don't sit on her couch thinking I can stay overnight and it's not like I have all the time in the world to be with her god it's like it's the end the world for her when I leave and shes being controlling.
Author goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 And that's what you'll have to ask her. What do i ask her?
carhill Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 OP, can you clarify for me? Is your GF (I assume she is your GF) clingy in general or does she just have issues when you leave? Is this issue the roadblock to a deeper commitment for you? Or are other issues at work? Tell me how you feel when you have to leave her.... Communication is key. It's essential to a healthy LTR.
Author goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 OP, can you clarify for me? Is your GF (I assume she is your GF) clingy in general or does she just have issues when you leave? Is this issue the roadblock to a deeper commitment for you? Or are other issues at work? Tell me how you feel when you have to leave her.... Communication is key. It's essential to a healthy LTR. Well, I don't know if she has issues or not one thing I noticed shes never had a BF that treats like a human being and I'm perfect to her but in reality nobody is.I don't get why it's such shock to her that I do because her family does her friends do my family does. I don't understand where she's coming from when I do have to leave.It's a road block for a deeper commitment I never been this far in a relationship before and it doesn't get any easier for me.She tells me it sucks when I leave but sometimes I can't get passed when she says good bye to me. I feel I want to get going because it gets late. I can't stay over cause we're not married. I look around thinking why am I even with her in the first place.I just don't feel the same way as she does.I get confused when she doesn't let me leave when i want to.I don't get what she feels when I have to leave.But how I feel when i want to leave I just want o get going and not make a big deal out of it like she is because I don't have any trouble leaving here because I know I'll see her again.
carhill Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Hmm....you're not married, not staying over, but dating for nearly 3 years. Are both of you celibate? How do the two of you feel about sexual intimacy in a relationship? Just so you know, part of the feeling of being in love is desiring the physical presence and aura of your mate. Yes, you part for reasons of daily living, but that desire is still there. Perhaps her delineation is less well-developed or perhaps there is a difference in the depth and/or level of feelings between you two. It's possible that she has unresolved attachment issues from childhood but that is for a professional to resolve. How old are you both, BTW?
BUENG1 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Well, we've been dating for nearly 3 years and shes still having trouble saying good bye to me.She says to me get ready at 11:30 p.m and by the time I get to my car it' 11:45 and by the time I get home midnight and it's on a Saturday night.It's just that she's being possessive and I just don't like it at all. She used have me get ready at 11:20 pm and whatever happened to that I just don't feel comfortable when she does this to me.It's like I'm being controlled when I can leave.If I tell her when I want to leave she gets all defensive so I let her do it but to me the more she does it that I push her away and she wonders why. I mean come on do women really have trouble saying good bye to guys if they found the right one to be with.It's not my fault that shes being this way.And I get all upset because of it because I can't eave when i want. I don't understand the big deal in leaving her house 20 minutes later than you had planned.
Author goodguy15 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 Hmm....you're not married, not staying over, but dating for nearly 3 years. Are both of you celibate? How do the two of you feel about sexual intimacy in a relationship? Just so you know, part of the feeling of being in love is desiring the physical presence and aura of your mate. Yes, you part for reasons of daily living, but that desire is still there. Perhaps her delineation is less well-developed or perhaps there is a difference in the depth and/or level of feelings between you two. It's possible that she has unresolved attachment issues from childhood but that is for a professional to resolve. How old are you both, BTW? we're 28 and i'm 2 weeks older than she is
carhill Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 The important part was the rest of the post but happy to know how old you are
rod_in_gtown Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Explain to me why I'm wasting affection from her maybe I'm not used to it and shes over doing it. I don't sit on her couch thinking I can stay overnight and it's not like I have all the time in the world to be with her god it's like it's the end the world for her when I leave and shes being controlling. She obviously cares for you and enjoys your company. You only see each other once a week and have been dating for 3 years. You think this should be enough for her and don't like it when she is unhappy when you leave. Relationships are supposed to go somewhere. Your behavior indicates that you have no desire of going anywhere with her and are doing a disservice to this woman by sticking around in a relationship where you don't feel like you want to see her more than once a week. Her acting up when you leave, is her way of showing you that she wants to spend more time with you, that she wants to get to know you better. Your unwillingness to stay over or to see her more than 4 times a month, shows her that you're not interested in more than just a casual physical friendship. of FWB. Let her move on and be with someone who will want to move forward because your words and actions clearly indicate that you don't.
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