I don't know . This has never happened to me before.

[silenceandstars]

I need help

So I've been going out with this guy for 4 months.

He's my first proper boyfriend and although we've taken it pretty slowly, I'm crazy about him. We started going out in May and until August things were perfect, we spent beautiful days together. I'd go as far as saying they were some of the happiest days of my life.

But in September, I started a new college, and he got a new job. We both care a lot about our schoolwork and he had been wanting a job for such a long time. I now don't get home weekdays till half 5. He works odd hours both days at the weekend (not full days, but still odd hours, and he works quite far away).

Until last week we hadn't seen each other for 5 whole weeks, and hadn't had much communication either.

Last night he said he wasn't happy with our relationship, he needed to be seeing me and without that it was too hard. He was being really negative and saying that we'd never get to see each other, it was like a 'permanent' thing, because even during the school holidays he'd be busy. Then, today, he texted me saying "Can I call you later? I really need to speak to you".

I just know he's going to break up with me, even though he still is crazy about me, it's the fact that we barely see each other.

I don't think I can cope without him. I'm a positive person and I really feel we could work something out and see each other, with a bit more effort from both of us. For example, Friday and Saturday evenings, and around his working hours. But he said he gets so tired with everything else like work etc.

I just feel that we're worth so much more, we can't throw what we have away over this. Even if we only see each other once a week, I don't mind, as long as I know he's there and I have him.

I really don't want to break up with him. I don't think I could carry on with anything, I'd just feel completely used up.

How can I salvage this and make him change his mind? Or should I let myself get hurt? What should I do?

He's something pretty special and I don't know if I'd ever meet anyone like him again for a long while.

Help me.

xx

[Angel1111]

The problem is, if someone wants to break up with you, you can't really stop them from doing it. If you do, he'll just do it later, or become so distant that you'll think you're broken up.

 

It's really tough to go through a break up so I totally understand but you will survive without him if you have to. You need to believe this, otherwise, this can destroy you if you let it.

 

When he calls you and if you're right about what he's going to do, ask him if there's any way that the two of you can work our your schedules differently. But, honestly, I find it hard to believe that he's that nuts about you if he would break up with you over this. I think he has either met someone else, or he just wants his freedom. Hard to hear, I know, but you've got to learn to accept that sometimes, people are not going to feel the same way about you as you do about them. If that's the case here, you need to let this guy go. You don't want to hang on to someone who wants out of the relationship.

 

Please post again when you hear from him. I hope all goes well and that he really just wants to talk to you about how you're going to make things work out. Good luck, sweety.

[silenceandstars]

I was right.

We're over. And only because of the lack of time. It's so frustrating and I can't deal with it.

Even he was crying. And he did say, that maybe in the future, "who knows?" He said he's crazy about me, but that's why we had to finish, because he couldn't deal with the distance.

So I'm not giving up because I really do believe we can make this work.

[lonelyandfrustrated]

I was right.

We're over. And only because of the lack of time. It's so frustrating and I can't deal with it.

Even he was crying. And he did say, that maybe in the future, "who knows?" He said he's crazy about me, but that's why we had to finish, because he couldn't deal with the distance.

So I'm not giving up because I really do believe we can make this work.

 

 

You can deal with this. Hang in there.

[caramel drops]

Darling, I'm sorry, but like Angel1111, I refuse to believe that distance is the reason he broke up with you. I don't see my boyfriend for weeks at a time sometimes and we do just fine. Sure, we don't see each other but we understand that schoolwork and our futures is far more important for us right now because we're both young and we support each other in this respect. He's crazy about me, I'm crazy about him. If we're crazy about each other and nobody else, nothing is going to keep us apart and it's as simple as that.

 

Think about it: if he really loves you and distance is driving him crazy, what makes you think being without you COMPLETELY is going help his sanity? In my opinion, it would only depress him more if he is into you this way. I'm sorry to say, but I think it goes deeper than this but he's just not telling you what. You can make it work, sweetie. Anybody can if they know how to handle it emotionally. But if he is adament about the decision of letting you go, don't push it either. Because if he's not going to change his mind, it's only gonna hurt more.

 

Talk about it. Come a consensus. If it's a done deal, then try to move on. Believe you can move on because you will drown in a world of hurt if you don't. Good luck!