imagine Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 One more time: Google -marriage builders. Read the articles. Your case is text book. WW and BS tend to go through the same old routines. Learn about "a plan" and how to get ahead of the game. I am afraid that there is quite a bit of reading to do. Start.
TrustInYourself Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Well I can identify some issues there. Read whyme's post on renting vs buying. I lived with my wife for 2 years and that's a fairly accurate assumption on how I used to handle issues. You're dealing with an emotional affair. You need to seek advice on infidelity and there are quite a few people here who can help in that department. As far as Gunny's advice. That's absolutely accurate. You need to be emotionally invested in your CL wife as much as your son. She has to be prioritized. You have to be emotionally available to her. That's as simple as asking her how she feels, how her day went, what are her dreams and aspirations. Take communication off cruise control and challenge her. You mentioned you were outgoing and passionate and fun before. What happened? How do you recapture your true self? How do you regain your sense of self? Without this, you can't even attempt to work things out with your wife. Let me know your thoughts.
TrustInYourself Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Sorry it wasn't that I wasn't listening. I didn't put your post in the trash or anything. But with this, are you saying she is feeding me more crap and most definitely involved with this guy? You may very well be right. And if I was reading this about someone else, I would likely think the same thing. So I guess she probably is. If so, I just wish she would come out and say it so I could be done hoping. Part of the reason why I do somewhat believe her is that she is home all the time, or at work. There isn't many times where I don't know where she is. Other than this past week. But right now, I am 200km away. She was done work a little over an hour ago. Who knows where she is right now. Sigh. But on the otherhand, if I convince myself that she is completely involved with this guy, and she turns out not to be...my mind will run and ruin any attempt at reconciliation based only on assumption. This is you ignoring the issue. Another man is communicating with your wife on a level that you should be. Your mind should run and you should be extremely worried because inaction is not going to solve this situation. It's just going to make it worse. There are positive ways to create change. Search for a way to positively change this situation. Communication and companionship is what she seeks. Are you incapable of providing this? Possibly. We're not all trained from birth at being complete, loving individuals. You have to read, learn and grow constantly or you are just slowly dying.
Recommended Posts