SushiX Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Hello all. I just broke up with my ex of about 3 yrs. She cheated on me. She left me just like that, without much explanation. I tried NC but its hard. So I called her, and all she talks about is him. She also came to my house and dropped off my things. It was painful. I didn't know what to do, so I mopped around trying to find an explanation and thinking what I did wrong. I didn't eat, sleep or think of anything else but her. It was horrible. 3 days had passed and I decided I need to get myself out of this mess. It was officially over and knew she would never come back. I was so lonely, so I decided to try online dating and posted myself on every personal Ad listing. It was rather fun. Met several girls, but most importantly it took my mine off my ex! 1 week passed and now I'm falling for this girl I met online and she likes me too. We have good conversations. Everything is great and my ex who? I forgot her name.. All I think about now is my new gf. I know this isn't as easy as it seems, but the whole point of this story is there is hope! Just go out and meet people. It doesn't matter if it's online or offline, just go out and do it. Eventually you'll meet someone new. Even if it doesn't work out between you and the new person, at least you'll forget about your ex that much quicker! I hope this helps!
sunshinegirl Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Sushi, be careful. You are getting into a classic rebound relationship -- using someone new to dull the pain of an ended relationship. I hope you are being fully honest with the new girl about where you are at emotionally, and what you want out of your relationship with her. If/when this new relationship doesn't work out, you are likely to be hit with a double whammy of pain, because you haven't worked through the pain of your current ex cheating on you.
i11 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 The girl seems just to be your relief to the pain of being dumped. She happens to show up at the moment that you want someone to fill in the blank. You are not ready to get involved in a serious relationship and if it ends up badly, it may hurt both of you (Question: do you really intend to hurt some innocent girl just because you are not ready for it yet?). So if you are gonna be responsible for yourself and someone you really want to care about, just take your break, hold back, wait until you are 100% recovered and completely ready for the new one, dont rush things up. When you are over the ex, you can tell from the very deep inside, dont have to see someone to convince yourself of that.
EmperorR Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 rebound look at this my ex dumped me and like the first guy bsaically she talked to after me she had butterflies for, i told her she just doesnt want to be alone and to mask the pain of losing me even though she dumped me we were best of friends etc. so she tried to replace me. It seems thats what your doing, trying to replace the void, you need to feel the pain, you need time to heal your wounds.
Author SushiX Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 I know many people say it's unwise to get into the classic rebound relationship and I agree with that. But I just post on personals to lessen my loneliness and happen to meet this new girl. I can tell you right now that I have completely forgotten my ex. I am not convicing myself that I've forgotten her, I truly have! And even if it doesn't work out with the new one, I won't feel as sad as I did after the breakup. I genuinely like the new girl alot and I don't intend to hurt her. I am not rushing anything either. I'm just happy I'm not depressed anymore and all I think about is this new girl. The whole point of this is to allieviate my loneliness and it worked! Well for me it did, maybe not others. Forget what the love doctors say! Why not try it?
EmperorR Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I know many people say it's unwise to get into the classic rebound relationship and I agree with that. But I just post on personals to lessen my loneliness and happen to meet this new girl. I can tell you right now that I have completely forgotten my ex. I am not convicing myself that I've forgotten her, I truly have! And even if it doesn't work out with the new one, I won't feel as sad as I did after the breakup. I genuinely like the new girl alot and I don't intend to hurt her. I am not rushing anything either. I'm just happy I'm not depressed anymore and all I think about is this new girl. The whole point of this is to allieviate my loneliness and it worked! Well for me it did, maybe not others. Forget what the love doctors say! Why not try it? True but everyone is different, me for example i was heartbroken every day im getting a little bit better, but im still not over my ex, id rather not go and try and get with soemone knew and then they have feelings for me, and then when i let them know i'm still not over my ex to make them feel as crap as how i felt i'd rather pass for now.
marlena Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I agree with the original poster. The best and fastest way to get over someone is to start something new with someone else...even if it is only short term. Plus it does wonders for the ego.
You'reasian Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Don't rush into a rebound relationship. Its not healthy. Take your time, keep your distance and slowly get to know some women who you would like to get to know better.
XNemesisX Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Meeting and being with someone new IS the key to forgetting the ex. However, you can do this TOO soon. Only 3 days after the breakup and you were on an online dating site? It sounds like you don't want to have to feel any pain or depression from this breakup but unfortunately it is inevitable if you really loved her.
Stephen09 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 dude i respect you. people like me need to be told there is hope... thanks.
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