Back at school: I feel that while I'm not completely "over her", I have let her go

[devinmusicman]

Hello everyone,

 

I joined a few months ago after I was dumped cold and left very low and depressed. I have spent the summer healing for the most part; I cut all contact with my ex for a while, and found that the healing process was going a lot smoother. (P.S. To those of you who think that you can maintain a friendship initially after you have been dumped, don't fool yourself. I believed this too for a good month or so, but I was only feeling worse every time I'd talk to her. Please do yourself a favor and cut it off completely, at least for a while).

 

Anyway, we are both college students, and yesterday I moved back in. I know that she did too, but I haven't seen her yet. Good news: I feel that while I'm not completely "over her", I have let her go and those intense feelings of loss, heartbreak, and desperation are for the most part long gone. Bad news: I am now expierencing feelings of intense anxiety and insecurity related to the fact that I will be seeing her again. Seeing my ex on a nearly daily basis will be unavoidable (classes, dining hall, etc.), and I need advice to make the awkwardness as minimal as possible. Help, anyone?

[BklynGuy]

I know what you're going through. I was dumped this summer also. The sadness, regret, etc. are still there but not as strongly as last month. Whenever I break up with someone I cut off all contact. It's very, very painful at first but it makes the "getting over" stage much easier in the long run. I still travel to my ex's neighborhood sometimes and whenever I'm there, I get the same feelings of insecurity. I try to keep my head down praying I don't see her with the 'next man' and thus far have been lucky enough not to. For me, the Golden rules with dating are:

1) Don't date anyone in your neighborhood

2) Don't date anyone on your job

3) Don't date anyone at your school

 

You'll just have to cope if you do see her at school. I would try to avoid places I know she'll be, but it's inevitable for you to see her. Hopefully it will be a few months from now when you are feeling much better. Good luck!

[Vivid_29]

You know fellas, I feel your pain. I was let go August 13, 2003. The first three days were the worst. I went out with family and friends and just totally let loose. I met quite a few women that were just spectacular with good heads on their shoulders. Not dating material candidates yet, due to the old flame, but who knows?

 

I work with my ex and we practically work the same shift. She knew I was hurting those first three but now I am able to stand my ground when I'm around her. When I'm near her, the temptation of me throwing myself onto her is there, but I've learned to put my hands in my pockets and restrain myself.

 

My heart stings every once in a while, but I will never let a woman get the best of me. Love yourself and try to find an inner passion that you enjoy. Time will do the rest...

 

 

Most Sincerely,

Vivid_29