FF84 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I see most threads on here seem to relate to long-term relationships. I have just come out of a short term relationship and feel awful, i dread to think what it's like when it's been over a longer period. But I think the pain is worse after a short term relationship than a medium term one. I'd invested a lot of time in this girl, i thought things were going somewhere, i was feeling great, looking to the future, making plans, dreaming about all the things we could do together, starting to believe in the happiness i was feeling. And then bang, after a few months she turns around and tells me she isn't feeling what i'm feeling and that it's not what she wants. I had no idea this was coming, i thought she was feeling the same and she was telling me how much she liked me and all the rest of it. But it meant nothing to her. I was dropped just like that with the offer of being her friend put on the table for me. I was heart broken, meanwhile she's carrying on as normal as if nothing ever happened. It all feels like such a waste. Yes i have some happy memories but it's the pain of missing out on those extra things which hurts. You wonder why you invest all this time in things and let yourself get swept along when ultimately you know it was all one way and you're left with nothing. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a lesson to learn, but it feels awful that everything just ended at the point when it was just beginning. Now i feel bitter about things, which i shouldn't, i'm just so angry with myself for getting into this state.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Was she specific about why she wasn't feeling the same? Was it something about you? Or was it bad timing on her part? Did you ask her if there was anything you could do to take a shot at changing her feelings about this?
SUNSHINETHRUPAIN73 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I think she has someone else she is interested in, she will probably realize when it is too late, that the grass is not greener on the other side.
Author FF84 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 There is no one else. I know she's not looking for anything - though if the right guy came along she obviously would be interested. It's not a great time for her in terms of her career but there's more to it than just that. She has been hurt quite badly in her past 2 relationships. Then i came along and we got on great, on paper we were the perfect couple. But in the end she said she didn't feel the way she should feel and she had too many doubts. But she couldn't understand why she had these doubts given how well we got on and she had put it down to her fearing she might get hurt which was stopping her from loving. But there is nothing stopping her loving someone, she just could never love me, despite all the great time we shared. So these doubts were always there, but she had been denying them to herself and i had no idea they existed until she ended it. It's a little messy and i feel for her, but i feel like i've been the victim of her own confusion too.
Deegee Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It IS messy, and you are a victim in her confusion, sorry. No matter the time, it was a relationship to you, and you've gone through these emotions, thinking you were both on the same page, then she dropped the bomb. It's very real, but you know, she did tell you, there are stories here where the other person in the relationship just disappeared (mine included), with no explanations whatsoever. So, I guess, THAT'S a good thing huh?! You'll be okay, I know that it sux that she's not feeling the same things, and that she seems open to dating, but let her go, and move on so that the right person can come to you. Good Luck.
Author FF84 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 Thanks. It's hard, she wasn't the "one" or anything like that but she was special and it meant a lot to me. It just hurts to think back knowing it was never there for her when i really thought we were going somewhere. But yes, i suppose relatively speaking it could have been much worse. I'm starting the no contact thing and getting on with my own life now.
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