Man_in_Black Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 6 years. Had our ups and downs but we were engaged etc. Found out she'd been fooling around with some other guy, but blamed ME, and ceased all contact with me. That was a week ago. Have been in secret contact with her mum, and I know that she's moving on with her life, possibly with this other guy, that she's throwing out all my stuff etc. Without even explaining herself or talking it through. I know I'm better off without her, I wouldn't get back with her anyway, and I know I've got to move on. But I've been trying to keep myself busy, gone out and got wasted, but I feel no different. Every thought is dedicated to her, and every thing I look at reminds me of her. I honestly feel like murdering the other guy, and taking my own life. I know he's taking pleasure in her breaking up with me. I don't think I'm capable of it, it is just a fantasy, but it's all that's on my mind and I hate it. I don't know what to do.
Hurtling Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I find when ever i am in my flat and just cant stop thinking about what i couldve done to prevent her from breaking up with me, i just need i have to get OUT! just get OUT! go for a walk, a run, just get out of the house and just go for walk. Trust me, it has helped me alot. To think about things in a clearer light and also while looking at myself and where i did go wrong, taking it on the chin and allowing myself realise that "ultimately she was not perfect either and had her flaws too and made mistakes of her own within our so called relationship". Try your best to go with the flow. Its hard it hurts but DONT allow this to bring you down! its hard but try to take it on the chin tell yourself your strong and able to learn to deal with this on your own. You are not alone.
EmperorR Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I know hte feeling, i've been no contact 17 days now, i've been feeling good then I had some stupid dream in the night, and now im feeling like crap again.
Hurtling Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 well its been like 5 days now since we spoke last, this feeling man omg ... i just. This feels too much but hey, i dont see the light yet but i know it will come sure as the day. i still even now sitting here feel like breaking cause of the hurt "feeling" dam it! hehe, but hell such is life. You take care of yourself you are number one now! KEEP ACTIVE!! get OUT! OUT OUT OUT!
Citizen Erased Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Do not contact her mother again. You're only torturing yourself further. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, any break up sucks and this has the added pain of her being unfaithful. Just take the time to deal with this, look after yourself and limit any contact with your ex or the people in her life (including her mother - that will only hurt you).
Sysyphus28 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 It is not his fault. He(the other guy) has no loyalty to you. He doesn't have to abide by any commitment. It was your EX that you need to direct your anger toward. I fantasized about beating up the guy that my ex cheated on me with. I wanted to embarass him and look like a hero! yeah right! It was my ex who opened her legs for him. She is the cheater, not him.
ChrisT Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Friends! Call yours. and hang with them as much as you can. drink, try to laugh. It seems impossible to breathe right? But you can do it. I literally just ruined something good with a sweet girl by cheating. At least your not the guilty party. If she doesnt feel the sort of guilt i do now. shes not worth your tears. i used to try to remember what jay-z said, i got 99 problems but a Bi*** aint one.
Drmnlyzr Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Ok, here is a girl's prospective on this. What she did was awful but what surprises me here is even after being with her for 6 years u never realized this or even felt it in your gut that something is not right ????? When something is wrong, we feel it in our gut, our heart/ sixth sense tells us. But most of us choose to ignore it because what they have right now is more important than the future. Or that the fear of loosing someone and being alone again takes away the corrage to listen to our soul. If that what you chose to do - thats your mistake. She is a Cheater ... and she will aways be a cheater. Even if she will realize that she made a mistake ... she is wrong. Mistake is when u leave ur wallet at a movie theatre or step on someone's feet in a crowded room. Cheating on someone u love is not a mistake ... its a well thought and planned decision. She did it with you today and she will do the same thing with the other guy too, so feel pity for him. And if he knew she already had a bf and he helped her cheat on you ... then he is a cheater too. Pretty soon he will cheat on her. Its not important what happend in the past, whats important is now ur better and u will realize it soon. Cheating is not something you can ever repair. So forget her !!!!... u know in your gut now that u deserved better ... and believe them who says that she is just around the corner ..
SushiX Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Sounds like you and I went thru the same breakup. I just broke up with my ex after 3 yrs. Blames it on me. Says had I treated her better, she wouldn't have cheated. WTF? I devoted my life to her. Completely true, honest, and faithful to her. Dumb bitch.. She never told me anything about him and lies about everything. I had to find out myself. It's sad she can't be honest, even on the day of the break up. And she never gave much explanation and not much closure. Throws my **** in the trash. Talks all day about him and how she's gonna introduce him to her parents. Told me she had sex with him too. Sounds like she's delibrately trying to hurt me. It was painful so I had no choice but to go NC. So now we've been NC for about 3 weeks. I've kept myself busy by meeting new people online. Finally met someone and we like each other alot. Everything is great now. I finally realize now that she was never worth it. And that she doesn't deserve me. Had she not cheated on me, I would still be stuck in a relationship based on lies.
Bobby.Roy Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 My girlfriend cheated on me after being with me for 9 years. We were to get married this year (2008).. I was obviously depressed, sad and all that but then I picked myself up and it's been about 6 months to the whole thing and now I realized that a cheater will always be a cheater, no matter what. It's always better to let go than ever to want someone who cheated on you, back ever again because even if they do come back in your life, believe me, the relationship would never be the same again. And this would always haunt you at the back of your mind. So, it's just not worth it. The world is huge and there are new experiences, new people to meet. I have realized that even after 9 years, she felt like cheating, that too with one of my closest friends then she better be gone! Why would I EVER want someone like her back in my life, ever again!!?? Ha!
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