luckygirly Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 My boyfriend and I have a little thing with playing jokes and gags on each other. It's just one of the little games we like to play. Anyhow, I pulled one recently and I think I might have gone a bit too far. Every now and then he'll go out with his buddies and have too much to drink. Doesn't happen a lot, so thats not a problem or anything. Well recently I got up one morning to find him sleeping it off in my back yard. So of course my first thought, after making sure he was still alive, of course, was to strip him to his boxers and turn on the sprinkler. Well, that would have taken more effort than I was looking to put into it so I just decided to take away his glasses and make him think he lost them. Now you have to understand that boyfriend can't see a thing without them. We're talking feel for the walls blind here. So a couple hours later I look at back and he's awake. So i go out and he's surprised to hear my voice (since he couldn't see me). Didn't know where he was, couldn't remember how he got there. After the "where am I" question was "where are my glasses?", as he's blindly groping along the grass. I told him I didn't know and he wasn't wearing them when I first saw him there. Now this wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining if he actually had another pair for emergencies. Those got lost months ago when he moved and his prescription is so bad that the one hour places can't make them. So after pretending to look for them for a while, I guided him inside. I let him go on for about an hour, feeling his way around, thinking he had lost his only pair of glasses. By then I figured the joke on mister tough guy was over so I sat him on the sofa and I gave them back to him. Ha Ha, right? Not exactly. At first I thought he was going to get mad at me, maybe like I did when he put crisco in the toes of one of my favorite pair of pumps. But instead he looked up at me, and very softly said "Do you have any idea how scared I was?" Sensing that I had screwed this up big time I profusely apologized. He said it was ok. After that he didn't want to talk about it. The next day we were ok but I still feel really bad about it. Yes, I knew I was taking advantage of a weakness and he was vulnerable but I honestly didn't think it would scare him like it did. I mean I was there the whole time and wasn't going to let him get hurt or anything. Did I really screw up and violate a trust that will be hard to rebuild? Any ideas how I can get him to talk about it?
JamesM Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Did I really screw up and violate a trust that will be hard to rebuild? Any ideas how I can get him to talk about it? Yes and no. For him the initial fear will disappear and he may be back to normal. As a guy who has very poor eyesight (known by few because I wear contacts), I can relate. His sounds even worse. The fear of going blind is real. He may have felt totally lost and helpless without his glasses, and then to find that you were simply using his poor eyesight for your personal entertainment may have been humiliating and made him angry. Time will heal this, I am sure, provided you never do it again, apologize profusely, and NEVER bring up this incident as a joke to laugh about.
Author luckygirly Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 Thanks for the reply. You were right about him feeling helpless without his glasses. The only way he can walk across a room without them is by feel. I knew that when I pulled this dumb stunt but I honestly didn't know he was scared. I probably should have known something was off by the way he clung to me but I just thought it was because he needed help to get around. He expressions were more like a lost little boy than "OMG, I terrified!" I really wasn't trying to scare or humiliate him.
Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I'd have ditched you for that, how callous can one person be to another and especially your boyfriend? It's beyond my level of comprehension, I'm afraid. He's a better man than I am, because he should have gone ballistic.
Geishawhelk Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Lucky, I take it now you really do realise what a totally utterly crapppy stunt that was to pull...? Ok. next time you feel like playing jokes on one another, think of this situation. Humour will get you far. But some 'humour' will make you go too far. Hopefully this will help you mature a little bit. Think of the possible consequences, and then think whether the joke is really worth it.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Krajt, they have a practical-joking relationship. I don't think she did it out of callous revenge. THAT would have been wrong and deserve a ballistic response. LG, you probably did humiliate him, even though it was unintentional. You actually pointed out his vulnerability, and took advantage of it. How about you take him to get another, back-up pair made? Tell him that the 'joke' made you realize that something could happen to his glasses and you don't want to see him unable to see. Maybe that would be enough to show that you do care. And then never attack that vulnerability again.
Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It doesn't matter, the act was callous, putting something in someone's shoe is not the same as attacking someone's vulnerability, it's unforgivable and is a complete deal-breaker for me. No, woman alive is worth that much humiliation.
Tomcat33 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Jilly Bean Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Wow. I know it wasn't your intention, but that was intensely cruel. I am really near-sighted, maybe not as bad as your bf and contacts take care of me just fine, but without my lenses in, I can see about an inch in front of me. To lose clear vision in an unfamilar place, would cause me to panic. But, to find out that my partner had played this "joke" on me, would be pushing it to far. I would probably break up with you, as I would feel that our sense of humor didn't mesh, that you didn't exercise good judgment where it concerned my welfare, and had no problem endangering me in your quest for a laugh. Again, I know that was NOT your intention - just letting you know how he might have felt. Next time, I would say it's probably best to NOT play jokes that involve his safety and well-being.
You'reasian Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 My boyfriend and I have a little thing with playing jokes and gags on each other. It's just one of the little games we like to play. Anyhow, I pulled one recently and I think I might have gone a bit too far. Every now and then he'll go out with his buddies and have too much to drink. Doesn't happen a lot, so thats not a problem or anything. Well recently I got up one morning to find him sleeping it off in my back yard. So of course my first thought, after making sure he was still alive, of course, was to strip him to his boxers and turn on the sprinkler. Well, that would have taken more effort than I was looking to put into it so I just decided to take away his glasses and make him think he lost them. Now you have to understand that boyfriend can't see a thing without them. We're talking feel for the walls blind here. So a couple hours later I look at back and he's awake. So i go out and he's surprised to hear my voice (since he couldn't see me). Didn't know where he was, couldn't remember how he got there. After the "where am I" question was "where are my glasses?", as he's blindly groping along the grass. I told him I didn't know and he wasn't wearing them when I first saw him there. Now this wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining if he actually had another pair for emergencies. Those got lost months ago when he moved and his prescription is so bad that the one hour places can't make them. So after pretending to look for them for a while, I guided him inside. I let him go on for about an hour, feeling his way around, thinking he had lost his only pair of glasses. By then I figured the joke on mister tough guy was over so I sat him on the sofa and I gave them back to him. Ha Ha, right? Not exactly. At first I thought he was going to get mad at me, maybe like I did when he put crisco in the toes of one of my favorite pair of pumps. But instead he looked up at me, and very softly said "Do you have any idea how scared I was?" Sensing that I had screwed this up big time I profusely apologized. He said it was ok. After that he didn't want to talk about it. The next day we were ok but I still feel really bad about it. Yes, I knew I was taking advantage of a weakness and he was vulnerable but I honestly didn't think it would scare him like it did. I mean I was there the whole time and wasn't going to let him get hurt or anything. Did I really screw up and violate a trust that will be hard to rebuild? Any ideas how I can get him to talk about it? Depends if this is a true story or not What ever happened to your stories about the boyfriend whose got a porn/cocaine/gambling/roasted chicken/ufo/punching wall addiction? Those stories are much more entertaining.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 At first I thought he was going to get mad at me, maybe like I did when he put crisco in the toes of one of my favorite pair of pumps. But instead he looked up at me, and very softly said "Do you have any idea how scared I was?" Sensing that I had screwed this up big time I profusely apologized. He said it was ok. After that he didn't want to talk about it. The next day we were ok but I still feel really bad about it. Yes, I knew I was taking advantage of a weakness and he was vulnerable but I honestly didn't think it would scare him like it did. I mean I was there the whole time and wasn't going to let him get hurt or anything. Did I really screw up and violate a trust that will be hard to rebuild? Any ideas how I can get him to talk about it? Unlike everyone else, I think you are making it out to be too much of a big deal. Yes he was scared. I understand that, you understand that. He told you he was scared. You apologized. You don't need to get him to talk about it. Let it go. Wait until he brings it up. Or better yet, plays another joke on you.
Author luckygirly Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 He actually is going to be getting another pair in a couple weeks so at least something good is coming of this. We did talk about it last night. I figured enough water had gone under the bridge. He's not mad at me even though I told him he had every right to be. He said it wasn't that I took away his glasses. Sometimes when we've been horsing around I've taken them but it was always a playful thing and he knew he was getting them back. That he's ok with. It was making him think they were gone for good that scared him. He told me about some of the times where his glasses were knocked off at the worst possible times and the sinking feeling of maybe not finding them or finding them broken. Things more intense than just knocking them off of the night stand in the morning.
Author luckygirly Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 Or better yet, plays another joke on you. Oh I've already been put on notice that payback is coming.
pretty professional Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Well, I think it was worse that he came home so drunk that he was sleeping in your yard instead of coming in to face the music of his drunken behavior with you and sleep with his own girlfriend in a bed. I think it was funny that you got him back by doing that for his childish behavior, no excuse for being a loser drunk acting like that, give me a break. He got his glasses back, it was a funny joke and it sounds like he's over it! LOL
Tomcat33 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Personally I think what you did is par for the course. Usually when people play practical jokes on each other the goal is to outdo one another, that is what keeps it interesting and ultimately funny. However, in order to get more creative sometimes you need to really push the enevelope and lines will get crossed, inevitably these situations of practical joking always end in one joke gone too far so you learn that maybe this is not a good habit to get into. I don't think what you did was any more cruel than him putting lard in your shoes. I thought what you did was funny. Poor baby "he was scared", but sleeping piiissed drunk on his yard is ok? Whatev he'll get over it. I used to work at a place where we all played practical jokes on one another, it got pretty out of hand at times and inevitably someone would feel it was taken too far. It happens. I sent out an email on behalf of a coworker (who had left his PC unlocked) to some people attending a meeting with him the following words "check out my azz in these new pants doesn't it look great?" Everyone who was attending that meeting thought is was hysterical, he.. not so much. (We worked in a creative environment and it was pretty laid back like that). He eventually found out it was me and got me back good though, he put a wad of vaseline on my phone and I had gunk in my hair all day. I was pizzed but it was really funny at the same time. Just keep in mind the following phrase when it comes to pushing the envelope.."if it bends it's funny, if it breaks not so much..."
Angel1111 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I'm glad your realize that this wasn't a good thing to do. I could tell what the effect of this would be at the beginning of the story. I personally cannot stand practical jokes. I would be incredibly pissed off if someone stole my glasses, put Crisco in my shoes, or anything along these lines. What's the purpose in doing this stuff? They have lasting repercussions (how the heck do you get Crisco our of a pair of shoes?) and aren't funny at all. I just don't get it.
D-Lish Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I love practical jokes. I lived with room mates in school and it was never ending. I even played the whole saran wrap on the toilet seat in my ex husband's bathroom- he was a little pissed off being he was well into his "number two" before realizing he was actually sitting in it... All I heard was this angry voice "DEEEEEE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!" You didn't intend to scare him, or realize he would react as he did. Your intentions were not based on insensitivity and you didn't set out to be cruel. That's the difference. Now that you know- it will be an off limits thing for you. Expect to move from crisco in your shoes to perhaps dogs poo... I had a younger brother that I tortured with my antics growing up. My parents had some stupid game called "pin the macho on the man"... and the box contained a bunch of crazy looking penises in various sizes, shapes and prints. The night before his first day of highschool I took all his note books and taped the penises sporadically throughout his notebooks. His first day in science class- he was sitting around a work station with a bunch of strangers and opened his notebook revealing a huge tiger striped dick on the first page for everyone to see. It went on for a couple weeks as he kept "discovering" more crazy looking dicks as he turned new pages in his classes. In retaliation he told on me for smoking pot and showed my parents my stash. I got grounded for a month:mad: The thing with practical jokes is that they escalate. That isn't something I would break up with someone for. I might be mad and upset- but I'd get over it. Now that you know, you'd never cross that line again. I know you're sincere because of how bad you feel about it. He's lucky he has a girl that is understanding about him going out and getting sloshed and passing out in the backyard!
Sks Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I am not the person to laugh at this, I don't trust many people and I have no interest in being with a girl who I can not trust. You also won't see me getting drunk and falling a sleep in a yard, so maybe I am just a different kind of guy..........
D-Lish Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I am not the person to laugh at this, I don't trust many people and I have no interest in being with a girl who I can not trust. You also won't see me getting drunk and falling a sleep in a yard, so maybe I am just a different kind of guy.......... No- it isn't laughable when he's upset and she's distraught over doing it. I think people are being too hard on her- she didn't do this to hurt him. She didn't anticipate the outcome when she did it and she's super sorry and concerned... That's not indicative of a bad person that deserves to be dumped.
Sks Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 No- it isn't laughable when he's upset and she's distraught over doing it. I think people are being too hard on her- she didn't do this to hurt him. She didn't anticipate the outcome when she did it and she's super sorry and concerned... That's not indicative of a bad person that deserves to be dumped. I never said she was bad, her BF must be a different kind of guy though - when it comes to the whole joke thing. I don't find jokes and jokes involving me entertaining at all. If MY Girl-Friend were to do something which violates our trust, the relationship would be over. Maybe I am too serious......
Recommended Posts