The Collector Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I don't get why you dont't suck cck?!??! I'm kinda busy right now, maybe later. But feel free to watch some gay porn if you're in the mood.
Trialbyfire Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 While I'm not a man, I'll still give you my perspective. It's cheating unless the two of you aren't in an exclusive, committed relationship or are in an open relationship. As to why girls do it, it's primarily for the attention and for some, a cheap thrill. I have no problems with true lesbians or bisexuals but this bid for attention and thrill is silly. If you're not truly attracted to the same sex, why do this? I kenna' understand it.
Jilly Bean Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Krajt - I am not remotely bisexual, and I have never kissed another woman (not that there is anything wrong with those who are and do. ) I would consider it cheating if I were you.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 My girlfriend told me that one of her "bisexual" (who isn't bisexual these days?) friends kissed her, but I know it takes two to tango and I threatened that next time she does it, I might just be inclined to try it on with her gorgeous 40+ mother. I don't think I'm overreacting, but I would like to get a man's perspective on whether he thinks it is acceptable for his girlfriend to go around getting off with women? Kamille, I never really discussed it with her. If she thinks that every guy likes watching two women go at it, then she is clueless. All right, I am not a man, but guy friends of mine and I had this discussion last year. One of them felt very strongly that kissing someone else, no matter the gender, was cheating. My boyfriend at the time thought girl on girl action was hot and tried to encourage me to kiss a friend of mine . (He didn't want me to miss out on an opportunity to explore my sexuality :rolleyes:. I declined the offer.) But since some men do get turned on by girl on girl action, there's no way your girlfriend could have guessed that you're not one of them. Since she was more then happy to tell you about making out with a bi, it sounds like you were part of the intended public for the kiss. Now she knows you don't like it. I doubt it'll happen again.
Author Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 I do consider it cheating, but she has told me she did not reciporate the kiss and as I weren't there, I can't tell if she was lying or not. I am prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I wouldn't have be so unsure if our relationship was on promised ground. It's a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment and this only serves as another headache. I'm not really sure what to do here.
Jilly Bean Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I do consider it cheating, but she has told me she did not reciporate the kiss and as I weren't there, I can't tell if she was lying or not. I am prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I wouldn't have be so unsure if our relationship was on promised ground. It's a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment and this only serves as another headache. I'm not really sure what to do here. Aw, I'm sorry. I will add, that I am also really shocked at the pics I see of young women on myspace and what not these days. Out at bars, and all tongue kissing their friends and strangers. I'm not sure if these girls do it out of insecurity and attention-grabbing, or genuine desire. Young women these days grew up far differently than me. I didn't grow up in a generation where girls were going to BJ parties in high school and were ragingly promiscuous. Im just not convinced all of this girl on girl kissing and chicks saying they are bi is real, or them just trying to fit in or be cool.
Author Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 .) But since some men do get turned on by girl on girl action, there's no way your girlfriend could have guessed that you're not one of them. Since she was more then happy to tell you about making out with a bi, it sounds like you were part of the intended public for the kiss. Now she knows you don't like it. I doubt it'll happen again. It still doesn't make sense, if you are in a relationship with someone, no matter how young or old that relationship you do not kiss someone else, it's being unfaithful and whilst it is not the same as full blown sex, it still hurts, it was a bruise on my ego. It feels like someone has infiltrated my relationship. It won't happen again, I am too much of a doormat, for my own good, I allow myself to be taken advantage of and be abused etc, I put up with it for a while and then my nasty side surfaces and I no longer put up with being a doormat. She kisses anyone else or does anything else, I am out of her life for good. Though I find letting someone go is always so difficult, I wish it was easier.
Author Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 I'm Liberal to these type of things when the person is single, but if the person is seeing someone then this behaviour is inexcusable. It's good she told me, but it made me feel 1cm tall. I suppose the good thing to come out of it was that it was meaningless, but if I ever encounter her friend, I will be sure to be as sly and witty as possible towards her. No, one urinates on my lamp-post except me.
pretty professional Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 That's your opinion and I thank you for it, but it lacks a concept known as logic. You can masturbate without porn, you are right, I do that too, but sometimes I need to watch sex in order to get turned on. You might be right, or you might be wrong, there's only one way to find out. Masturbating to videos of other naked women besides your girlfriend is no better than her kissing another girl she has no intention of getting into a relationship with. You have no intention of being in a relationship with those women you are fantasizing about, she has no intention of the girl she kissed. You're even. It's really quite logical. Maybe she needs to kiss a girl in order to get turned on, just like you need to watch other naked women on videos to get turned on. You have no more integrity than she does, you're both even.
Author Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 Is reading comprehension a weak point, PP? I do not fantasise over the girls I watch in porn movies, I use porn movies as a visual setting where I fantasise about me and girlfriend doing the things that the man and woman are doing on the porn video. I am not getting intimate with anyone except for me and my own penis, which is allowed. She kissed another person other than me, how is it the same? You generally seem very misandrist and I refuse to respond to anymore of your drivel. Thank you and goodnight.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It won't happen again, I am too much of a doormat, for my own good, I allow myself to be taken advantage of and be abused etc, I put up with it for a while and then my nasty side surfaces and I no longer put up with being a doormat. She kisses anyone else or does anything else, I am out of her life for good. Though I find letting someone go is always so difficult, I wish it was easier. How was your relationship before you guys went into LDR mode Krajt? It sounds from this thread and previous threads that it makes you feel like you've lost your footing in the relationship. Is that new or was that always there?
pretty professional Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 No need to be rude. It's clear that you enjoy porn and feel that that is not the same as her kissing another girl for risidual pleasure, but it's really the same thing, sorry, and until you are willing to stop using porn (which is looking at naked women for sexual pleasure) then you can't point fingers toward her getting her risidual pleasure from a kiss from a girl. Maybe she was fantasizing about you while kissing her, just like you are supposedly fantasizing about her while you are watching porn. You can always "say" that, just like she can "say" that. No difference, dude. I know you want to come off as being the innocent victim here, but you really need to look toward yourself. It's very clear you're not compatible with this poor woman, so please just let her go and do her a favor.
Author Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 How was your relationship before you guys went into LDR mode Krajt? It sounds from this thread and previous threads that it makes you feel like you've lost your footing in the relationship. Is that new or was that always there? It was fantastic before it became an LDR. It was fantastic, I was so happy and she seemed so happy too, she even sent me a text before she went away saying how she loved everything about me and our relationship.
pretty professional Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It was fantastic before it became an LDR. It was fantastic, I was so happy and she seemed so happy too, she even sent me a text before she went away saying how she loved everything about me and our relationship. She's clearly not that happy now or she wouldn't go seeking pleasure with someone else, just like you seek pleasure with porn.
Author Krajt Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 She's clearly not that happy now or she wouldn't go seeking pleasure with someone else, just like you seek pleasure with porn. I'm immune to your poison, PP! Now, what you say might be true, but if you weren't so bitter, I would actually take on board what you have said with interest. Kamille and Jilly, Trialbyfire have all contributed to this thread nicely, except you who has bought pornography up again.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It was fantastic before it became an LDR. It was fantastic, I was so happy and she seemed so happy too, she even sent me a text before she went away saying how she loved everything about me and our relationship. I'm not sure if I should post this in your "I just can't win thread" or here. This is the thread that's active, so I'll post it here. I guess this would be a topic for another thread - but I've been in an LDR that failed because we simply couldn't adjust to the distance. I was the one who moved and I was living through a bunch of new experiences (none of them involved kissing anyone granted) that my boyfriend didn't want to hear about. All he could feel was the distance. He would pull stunts to try and get my attention (by not picking up the phone at times we had set for a call) and by blowing up at me every chance he could. It was unbearable. Now, 3 years later, and after multiple post-break-up discussions, I realize he simply didn't know how to adjust to the distance. He wanted me to be as much in pain as he was. I wanted us both to be happy while we had to be separated. The first few months of any LDR are always the trickiest. I would suggest dealing with the situation in as open a manner as you could, but also, focus on maintaining your balance without her.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Reread my last entry and realize the advice sounds empty. Basically, what I would suggest is that you give her the benefit of the doubt until you two see each other again. In the meantime, focus on keeping yourself in a healthy happy state of mind.
Tomcat33 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 So long as you consider it an intrusion in your rel it's cheating otherwise you would agree to an open sexual rel.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I was drunk the other night around a friends house and I asked her if she was happy, she rang me twice, I didn't pick up, because I couldn't speak without slurring my words and she got a bit moody and asked me why did I ask that for and I just said I was curious, I like open communication, even if I am a hypocrite and bottle things up and she responded yes I am. See, it's stupid things like this that throw spanners in the works, but you struck a chord with me, Kamille, I like to know where I stand and where my footing is. I am also a fairly senistive guy, I am not macho and I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach whenever she says something nice about me, but lately she hasn't and of course the relationship seems to have changed, the atmosphere and the feelings and impressions I get from it, therefore I think it is warranted that I find out where I stand, or is that an excuse for being needy or emotionally fragile? :/ Ah the age old connundrum. The question is, is there anything she couldpossibly say or do to make you feel like you know where you stand? See, I feel like I was in your gf's shoes. My ex felt vulenrable and he wanted me to do something to prove he was still the one and that I still loved him and I felt like I always came up short. I felt like nothing I could do or say would make him feel I loved him. And, to be honest, I feel to this day that that part of the job - making sure that he stayed balanced in the LDR, was more up to him then up to me. I couldn't make him feel happy and safe, only he could do that. I also wanted to make the most out of my new surroundings and I was hoping he would want to hear about it and be happy for me - but this proved impossible for him. I wanted to have a conversation that wasn't dramatic. I wanted us to be us, in spite of the distance. My LDR didn't work, but a friend of mine who lived through a 3 year long (!) LDR told me that the first 3 months were the toughest precisely because miscommunications happen easily and you need to find ways to build trust. The thing about trust is that it's as much about how you feel about the other person and their actions as it is about how you feel about yourself. As long as you're afraid to trust her and believe her when she says she's happy and she loves you, you're likely to feel fragile.
You'reasian Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 My girlfriend told me that one of her "bisexual" (who isn't bisexual these days?) friends kissed her, but I know it takes two to tango and I threatened that next time she does it, I might just be inclined to try it on with her gorgeous 40+ mother. I don't think I'm overreacting, but I would like to get a man's perspective on whether he thinks it is acceptable for his girlfriend to go around getting off with women? .........
You'reasian Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 That experience with your gf and the woman was not intended for your ears, Krajt - so it never happened. She needs to explore this because its part of who she is. So let her have her fun because you'd be jealous and controlling otherwise to forbid this... I'm just kidding.
Bells Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Why do women seem to think that kissing another woman when in a relationship with a man is acceptable? I ask this, because all the girls I know, who have boyfriends and my ex's all kissed another woman, sometimes when we were not around and sometimes in front of us. Whilst it impressed my friends who tend to think with their penis rather than their brain, it didn't do much for me, I can't say lesbians turn me on, funny, I know, but they just don't make lesbians like they do in porno. My girlfriend told me that one of her "bisexual" (who isn't bisexual these days?) friends kissed her, but I know it takes two to tango and I threatened that next time she does it, I might just be inclined to try it on with her gorgeous 40+ mother. I don't think I'm overreacting, but I would like to get a man's perspective on whether he thinks it is acceptable for his girlfriend to go around getting off with women? Because it's "Cool" or "Hip" to act bi-sexual. Very lame though.
TigerCub Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I think the girls that kiss other girls for attention just give bisexuals a bad name. I'm bi and it was confusing when I realized that and there was a time when I got hung up on the label and what it meant. But at the time I was in a long term relationship and my bf at the time understood and he didn't really mind if I kissed a girl once or twice or something because he didn't see it as a threat to him. We were in a good relationship and I wasn't kissing other guys. He knew I had just came to this realization about myself and I was just seeing what it was like, and it only happened once or twice. The point Krajt is that maybe your girl didn't think it would be such a huge deal to you because it was another girl, an isolated incident and therefore she probably thought you'd fall into the catagory of 'guys who think its kinda hot and don't see it as a threat' - obviously she was wrong, and if she sees how upset you are about it, and she cares about your relationship then she wont do it again. I do see where you're coming from, but at the same time I kind of see why she probably didn't think it would cause such a problem, because these days, its kinda hard to find a guy that doesn't think its hot and actually finds it to be a HUGE betrayal.
audrey_1 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Long distance relationships suck. With that said, it seems you're still in a relationship, so your girlfriend shouldn't be kissing someone else in front of you - not even a woman friend for fun. If I was in a relationship, short or long distance, and my boyfriend kissed another guy in front of me, no matter how cute and sexy he thought it was, I would be pissed. It would be a deal-breaker.
Sks Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 There is a possibility of that kissing to turn into a 69, if she will kiss another chick in-front of you(or let another chick kiss her), think about what she will do while you are not around. I would be more then mad..........while in a relationship I "own" my girlfriend and my girlfriend "owns" me. Private property...........
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