Deegee Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 So, I got the call from the exbf this week, and realize that he's just trying to alleviate (I guess) some of the guilt (who knew?!), but STILL hasn't tried to explain what the hell happened (other than, I gotta do what's right for me....I gotta be the one that's happy here (oh, and what?! scr@! everyone else here?! (meaning his W, and not to mention me)). He tells me that he loves me, but its basically a financial decision as to why he can't be with me...... yeah right. (COWARD) I've asked him why he even bothered to call? And that I was on my way to being fine without him, and his answer was that if you love someone, you care about them, and their well-being. (BS!!!!!!). His W has no idea that he and I even had a R (yes, I would consider that a relationship...), and is probably happy that he's going to church wih her now, because now they can look like the perfect couple, with the perfect marriage. He claims that he's found God, and has resumed reading the bible again, and if that's true, then at least THAT'S a good thing that has come out of this mess. He's also told me that he doesn't trust her (his W)one bit (yet she's his office manager for his business..although he did mention that there have been times when HE went into the office, and she wasn;t there...nobody knew where she was...interesting...), and that he trusted me like he's never trusted ANYONE(UMMM, maybe cuz I was the one doing the cheating, lying, and hiding with him BEHIND his W's back?! duh!. I was and kept his dirty, little secret!) Yet, he's still in the same house, sharing the same bed (so much BS here,it's making my head spin!)! I guess that I am trying to understand some of this madness, and realize that this MIGHT NEVER make sense to me, eh?! Anyway, I've decided to go NC again.....I not only have to, I need to. This man is trouble for me, and I don't think that I can put my heart through this mess again, there is NO man that is worth all that heartache. I'm just emotionally spent, and exhausted...help!
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 His W has no idea that he and I even had a R With that being said, now you know he was never going to leave her. He's also told me that he doesn't trust her (his W)one bit (yet she's his office manager for his business..although he did mention that there have been times when HE went into the office, and she wasn;t there...nobody knew where she was...interesting...), and that he trusted me like he's never trusted ANYONE(UMMM, maybe cuz I was the one doing the cheating, lying, and hiding with him BEHIND his W's back?! duh!. I was and kept his dirty, little secret!) He obviously lied and/or exaggerated the truth to you, to benefit HIM and put HIMSELF in a certain light. She's the bad guy and he's the good guy.. Yeah right.. Yet, he's still in the same house, sharing the same bed (so much BS here,it's making my head spin!)! Doesn't this stop and make you think? IF he didn't love her, respect her, trust her, he would NOT be in the same bed, let alone still married to her. Deep down you know the truth and it's good that you're seeing him for who he is. A liar, a cheater, a selfish man who wants to have his cake and eat it too. Best revenge for you is to disappear and live your life. Go full-on NC mode and cut him out of your mind, heart and life forever. Here's the thread for you to read. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954
Angel1111 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 My xMM once said to me, "I trust you to the moon and stars. You're my soulmate." The list is long. When you understand that most men put more importance on money than they do on love, you'll know what happened here. As much as they claim to want you, they only mean that in the sense that they want you if things stay exactly as they are - he keeps his wife and money and you - then, yeah, he's nuts about you. It's all conditional. And he becomes even more nuts about you when you walk away and decide not to put up with it. Leave him to his dreams about how much he THINKS he wants you. He goes to bed with another woman and his life doesn't change very much at ll. Except that now he has a new hobby - trying to suck you back in and keep you on the edges of his life....so that you don't have one.
Author Deegee Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 wwiu- thank you, I do realize that on some level I really DID know the truth, that he was never gonna leave his comfortable life for me, but it still stings. But I appreciate your honest reply about him being a liar,a cheater, and a VERY selfish man I DO plan on having the best revenge and just disappear, and (the best part of all...) cut him out of my mind, heart and life forever. Angel111- when i read your post, i said to myself, "wow", you really hit it on the head when you said that he had a new hobby now, trying to suck me into the edges of his life, so I won't have one. THAT explained him to a T. And you're right, when he realizes that I'm done, and tired of the game, he'll be nuts, but by then, I won't give a crapshoot. I'm just so over the sheer stupidity of it all! Thanks so much for the support!
Reggie Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 If someone tells you that you are his "soulmate" or he "trusts you to the moon etc", run(after you are done vomitting). This puerile garbage is a clear sign you are dealing with a goofball.
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