My letter to him

October 11, 2008

I wrote this letter to my x. i didnt send yet. wanted feedback first. We have been broken up for two months and i need him back. my goal is to try and sound as less needy as possible. I call him "Paul" and our daughter "abby":

Ok so here it is as best as I know how to put all of this Paul. So I wanted to "talk" to you. I just figured since there has been a good cooling off period that it would be good to speak about some things. Not necessarily about Abby, but about you and I. To be honest, I'm not even sure what it is I'm looking to convey but as I have said before, it just seems like life is moving very fast. Fast for you, for me and even Abby.

I have really been in a good place lately. Life is ok and I am happy. I realize the less contact I have will you, the less I even think about you in terms of the past, present and future...This should be a clear indication for me to keep moving and never look back especially taking into consideration all of the damage that has been done.

I guess this all came about when I received court papers the other day to figure out things with the baby. I didn't expect for me to get so upset about it being I was the one who filed in the first place but looking at the papers in black and white was very sad for me. It's almost like everything flashed before my eyes and I couldn't get this knot out of my stomach. Not sure if it was pain for the baby or maybe even myself.

You have made it clear that you are seeing someone else although I don't know your intentions nor is it my business. I have also made it clear to you that I was seeing someone else. Deep down hidden inside somewhere, it makes me sick to think of what you have done still. We have been there though. I have expressed the hate and anger I had towards you for running in and out of my life so many times and for so many years. So shameful. Loving and then leaving me, and in the process trying to diminish me with hate-filled talk. Always running to another women even when I was pregnant and after talking about a future with me after she was born. You have always been scared to face your demons and reality. You have always run to someone else trying to hide behind them because maybe its easier then the responsibility of a different kind of life if you would have if you stood by me and stood up to your actions. You run and find a fix for the moment and then reality always seems to come and bite you in the ass. Why you think that's NOT going to happen this time around is just silly. I don't have to be a psychiatrists to figure this out, you out. I know you Paul. I have seen every side to you there is. I know you better than anyone in this world besides your family. You are always going to hit a wall in life because you have never once faced YOURSELF, by yourself. You couldn't even wait a month before you jumped into something. Its just sad.. I don't want to get anymore into that though. We both know who's done what.

I know I can be happy with many different people Paul. I know that no matter how everything unfolds - I will have a good life. Looking at those papers made me dig up the subject of you and I though. I replay over and over why it didn't work, why it cant work, why I would even want it to work? I only go over this because of Abby Paul and because I think about her well being. When I reevaluated all of these things I was very lost. I do know why it didn't work. It didn't work because you didn't want it to. Because you weren't ready for it to. Because you were very selfish. Because you never forgave me for having a child you weren't ready for. Because I was very vulnerable as a new mother and needy amongst other things. In my head and heart I believe it was never a matter of feeling, connection, bond or anything like that. The ingredients have always been there but we never knew how to mix them the right way.

Paul I don't know how I feel anymore. I don't know if I would ever be able to trust you as a person or get over what you did. I don't even know if I would be able to tell my family or friends that I even consider the thought of you and I. Hell, I have no idea how YOU even feel. But I do know this. Again, Time is going. I have moved and will keep moving. I will be happy. But I tell you this, that point of no return is coming sooner than I thought. And that's scary. Scary for the baby and scary to think if something "could" have been its going to be lost. A part of me maybe feels that we should both slow down our relationships with other people and maybe entertain the thought of us because of our history, because of the good and bad we have shared, because of our journey and because of our child. I know if that's not something you even consider, than I will continue on and open my heart more. I can do that Paul but I need some insight into your head.

October 11, 2008

To be honest with you, I think writing letters of this length, with all this emotion and feeling fly over most men's heads. It is my first instinct to write a letter - it helps me capture what my thoughts are on a situation. Hell, I'm an English major, and when I write a letter, I sit and craft, craft, tweak until I have a "masterpiece" that will miraculously change everything around once I hit send, right?

Wrong.

It truly does a disservice to send a letter like that. I know how you feel. I do. But please don't send it. Either shorten it very, very much, or find another way to deal with your feelings/thoughts. He will not appreciate what you're saying here, if he takes the time to read it at all.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I have done this before, with someone I loved so much, and I didn't think I was being needy; I thought I was being honest and giving him his freedom while letting him know where I stood.

I never heard from him, and when he called me several weeks later, he said that it caused him to disconnect.

If there's any hope at all, you could kill it by sending a letter.

October 11, 2008

To be honest with you, I think writing letters of this length, with all this emotion and feeling fly over most men's heads. It is my first instinct to write a letter - it helps me capture what my thoughts are on a situation. Hell, I'm an English major, and when I write a letter, I sit and craft, craft, tweak until I have a "masterpiece" that will miraculously change everything around once I hit send, right?

Wrong.

It truly does a disservice to send a letter like that. I know how you feel. I do. But please don't send it. Either shorten it very, very much, or find another way to deal with your feelings/thoughts. He will not appreciate what you're saying here, if he takes the time to read it at all.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I have done this before, with someone I loved so much, and I didn't think I was being needy; I thought I was being honest and giving him his freedom while letting him know where I stood.

I never heard from him, and when he called me several weeks later, he said that it caused him to disconnect.

If there's any hope at all, you could kill it by sending a letter.

im actually laughing. i know, i know - its loooong..But i have so much to let out. I havent reached out to him in a while. Today we spoke over the computer and made plans to speak on Sunday after i told him i wanted to discuss some things. Usually he says "there is nothing to speak about" but this time he wants to. I was actually just going to hand this to him while he was at my house and say "this is what im feeling". or maybe i should just blow it off. Tell him i decited theres nothing to speak about..Hmm, i dont know how to handle this one.

October 11, 2008

Just take the letter with you, then. Say you put your thoughts down so you would remember. Maybe refer to it while you have your talk. If he knows you have it, see if he asks you for it. If he doesn't, touch on the points while you're in person, and don't give it to him.

Don't send it.

October 11, 2008

Uknown,

This letter is too long and very confusing. Here are a few things I found problematic about this letter:

1)A long letter will not get through to him, he will put it down without finishing it, because he will draw his own conclusions about it just be looking at the length.

2)You're telling us here on loveshack you want him back, but the beginning of the letter makes it sound like you're happy without him. So already, you're showing one side of your emotions to US and another side to HIM.

3)You're letter accuses him of things hes done badly - for instance not taking time to himself. Do you really think accusing him of things right now is putting you in a good light? I suspect your ex would get annoyed with the letter, see it as petty and stop reading. Would you want to listen to insults if you could avoid it? Also, in making that accusation, you're telling him to take time to himself - if thats the case, then he would need to step away from not only his current woman, but YOU as well, to give himself alone time. Thats not what you're after, right?

4)You put in an ultimatum, sort of. You tell him time is running out, eventually you'll get over him. You want to slow things down in your relationships... give you and him another shot. I don't think he wants that right now, if he did he'd be telling you. You already know the choice he'd make with that ultimatum in mind, especially since you've just accused him of all these things hes done wrong.

5)You mention how you saw the papers regarding your child and felt hurt, for your child's sake. You want to work things out for your child. Maybe in the letter, include HOW working things out would benefit your child? By simply saying things about how its for your child, but not really elaborating... it kind of sounds like you're using your kid as leverage, but not really like... seriously establishing how your child is hurting.

Ummm thats all I've got for now, but don't send this letter. It's good to get it all out, but don't send it. Okay? It won't help.

I am not trying to be cruel here, I care about everyone on this site. All of us here have had our hardships, and I'm sure none of us would wish more pain on anyone else here. I am being blunt because you need to try your best to step outside your emotions right now and look at the situation objectively.

Your ex is with another woman. She is new, fresh, exciting. Will they work out? I personally doubt it, but you never know. HOWEVER, for NOW they ARE WORKING OUT, not in the future, but right now they are. He will most likely not leave a happy relationship. What he has with you is probably very emotionally tiring right now, and he needs to retreat from it. Is it the best choice on his end? Maybe not. But right now, you need to let go.

This is something YOU need to do for your child I think. Let yourself be happy. Find beauty in the world, and teach your child to see that beauty. If you are always sad and heartbroken, your child will grow up in that environment.

I wish the best for you. I'm sorry if I sound rude, but its because I want you to be strong like I believe you can be.

October 11, 2008

Uknown,

This letter is too long and very confusing. Here are a few things I found problematic about this letter:

1)A long letter will not get through to him, he will put it down without finishing it, because he will draw his own conclusions about it just be looking at the length.

2)You're telling us here on loveshack you want him back, but the beginning of the letter makes it sound like you're happy without him. So already, you're showing one side of your emotions to US and another side to HIM.
I didnt want to sound needy or that i cant go on without him.

3)You're letter accuses him of things hes done badly - for instance not taking time to himself. Do you really think accusing him of things right now is putting you in a good light? I suspect your ex would get annoyed with the letter, see it as petty and stop reading. Would you want to listen to insults if you could avoid it? Also, in making that accusation, you're telling him to take time to himself - if thats the case, then he would need to step away from not only his current woman, but YOU as well, to give himself alone time. Thats not what you're after, right?
You're right. making him feel bad isnt such a great idea. and Yes, i do want him to be byhimself and seeing me here and there with NO1 else in the pic.
4)You put in an ultimatum, sort of. You tell him time is running out, eventually you'll get over him. You want to slow things down in your relationships... give you and him another shot. I don't think he wants that right now, if he did he'd be telling you. You already know the choice he'd make with that ultimatum in mind, especially since you've just accused him of all these things hes done wrong.
I have stayed away from him and it seems like he has been hinting around the idea of him and I. I know how he is though and getting him to share any emotions is next to impossible so i figured i would jump start it.

5)You mention how you saw the papers regarding your child and felt hurt, for your child's sake. You want to work things out for your child. Maybe in the letter, include HOW working things out would benefit your child? By simply saying things about how its for your child, but not really elaborating... it kind of sounds like you're using your kid as leverage, but not really like... seriously establishing how your child is hurting.
Point taken. She is a baby though so doesnt really know whats going on. Shes not hurting but in the future could. But i get what you're saying

Ummm thats all I've got for now, but don't send this letter. It's good to get it all out, but don't send it. Okay? It won't help.

I am not trying to be cruel here, I care about everyone on this site. All of us here have had our hardships, and I'm sure none of us would wish more pain on anyone else here. I am being blunt because you need to try your best to step outside your emotions right now and look at the situation objectively.

Your ex is with another woman. She is new, fresh, exciting. Will they work out? I personally doubt it, but you never know. HOWEVER, for NOW they ARE WORKING OUT, not in the future, but right now they are. He will most likely not leave a happy relationship. What he has with you is probably very emotionally tiring right now, and he needs to retreat from it. Is it the best choice on his end? Maybe not. But right now, you need to let go.

This is something YOU need to do for your child I think. Let yourself be happy. Find beauty in the world, and teach your child to see that beauty. If you are always sad and heartbroken, your child will grow up in that environment.

I wish the best for you. I'm sorry if I sound rude, but its because I want you to be strong like I believe you can be.

Thanks for the advice. I think i will still speak with him but get rid of the letter

October 11, 2008

To be honest with you, I think writing letters of this length, with all this emotion and feeling fly over most men's heads. It is my first instinct to write a letter - it helps me capture what my thoughts are on a situation. Hell, I'm an English major, and when I write a letter, I sit and craft, craft, tweak until I have a "masterpiece" that will miraculously change everything around once I hit send, right?

Wrong.

It truly does a disservice to send a letter like that. I know how you feel. I do. But please don't send it. Either shorten it very, very much, or find another way to deal with your feelings/thoughts. He will not appreciate what you're saying here, if he takes the time to read it at all.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I have done this before, with someone I loved so much, and I didn't think I was being needy; I thought I was being honest and giving him his freedom while letting him know where I stood.

I never heard from him, and when he called me several weeks later, he said that it caused him to disconnect.

If there's any hope at all, you could kill it by sending a letter.

Well, I was just planning to post a letter to my ex, but I still felt it unnecessary for my ex to share my feeling or my current standing, if I were she, I would feel annoying reading such a long letter (about 3 pages), since it has nothing to do with her any more. What you've suggested here strengthens my decision not to send the letter, just keep the letter, and keep the tiny little maybe last chance between us as well.

October 11, 2008

Thanks for the advice. I think i will still speak with him but get rid of the letter

Good call, talking to him invites a dialogue, not a rant-style letter. It sounds to me like you're getting stronger and stronger each day I see you on LS, so I'm sure when the time comes, you'll have an idea of what to say and do to make yourself feel satisfied.

October 11, 2008

Talking to him is better and that is if he also wants to.

Keep the letter to yourself instead. A letter, no matter how long and well thought out will not be enough. You will always want to say something to him. Let's say you sent the letter but you realize that there's another things you want to say to him, so you send him another letter?

Talking to him is the best way but you gotta be clear that he also wants to talk.

October 11, 2008

So he just picked up the baby and will be bringing her back later on. When he does, I think im gonna mention if we are still on for speaking tomorrow...I'm not even sure what to say to him. Its like i need to figure out if thinks there a chance first before putting myself out there. I couldnt stand to be rejected. I'm assuming he knows that the talk is about "him and I" and if he didnt see anything, he wouldnt even bother speaking to me - right???? I just dont want to come off as needy. I mean, he is the one who should be BEGGING for ME back after the **** he put me through. I need to come across and still have a lil bit of my pride. It kills me that he is with another women. He thinks i am seeing someone esle, but I'm not. The thought of this girl around my child in the future makes me want to throw up!

October 11, 2008

Just say "I miss you"

Thats it. Straight and to the point. He will either take the statement and run with it, try and work it out with you... or he wont. Either way, you can never say you didnt try.

Stating it this way leaves no room for misunderstandings. There is no finger pointing about who did what, or where it went wrong, all of that shouldnt matter to you, you two should just be trying to make it right, and leave the past in the past.

Simply stating that you miss him doesnt make you appear needy, just honest.

October 11, 2008

Just let him go. OK why are you having a baby with this guy, did you try to manipulate him into marrying you? Didn't work, did it?

Now you're trying to use the baby to manipulate him back.

He's a loser for not wanting to raise his child in a happy together home; you don't want him.

Make sure you're getting your child support from him and move on.

The way you keep stating "Paul" over and over again in the letter is really annoying, too.

Legally, this guy only owes you child support, and you said he put you through hell, so just let him go. He clearly doesn't love you. You can raise your child without being with this guy who treated you like c**p, you even stated that. Your child is most important, get your happiness from your child, not this lowlife loser Paul. I mean THIS GUY CHEATED ON YOU WHEN YOU WERE PREGNANT. DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS LOWLIFE LOSER? IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT, I WOULD SEE IF YOU COULD TERMINATE HIS FATHERING RIGHTS AND DO IT YOURSELF, WITHOUT PAUL IN THE PICTURE AT ALL. YOU DON'T WANT THIS GUY AS A PARENT FOR YOUR CHILD.

October 11, 2008

Hi there:),

If you want to send it, then send it.

I don't know about you, but sometimes it's best to do what your heart tells you. If you have anything to say, anything you need to say...then say it!

I think you shouldnt blame him or call him selfish etc. That may only anger him. Dont point any finger.

However, if you feel you want to send the letter, then do it.

The worst that could happen would be this- He tells you he is not interested in continuing the relationship with you. Well, at least you know you did all you possibly could, you will be left with no 'what if's'...and you can make up you mind to move on and never look back.

He may not reply...well if he doesnt, then take it as a NO...and the above will apply.

I am not aware of your history with this Ex...I know nothing at all about it. I have no idea why you broke up etc.

However, sometimes I don't believe in all these rules. Every situation is different.

However, please bear in mind that I don't think this man is any good for you. I don't think he can give you the type of happiness you desire/need in the long term...but IF you want to send the letter, If you decide that you want to try one more time, then do it. Send it!...(albeit with a few editions).

You EX is NOT some kind of god. If he hurt you, there is no reason, why you should not be entitiled to express your feelings. He started dating someone a month after you, of course you would be upset!!

Please do what you genuinely want....and do not be allow US to make a decision for you. None of us on here know you.

A few years ago, I broke up with one Ex of mine, because I heard he was cheating. He denied this. Everyone on LS would have adviced him to go NC ( as he was hurting)...However, ONE of the reasons why we never got back was because he didnt fight for me. He went NC and I thought to myself...' he never even fought for me'....Well, he didnt contact me after I ended the relationship (probably because he got advice from his friends not to) and I didnt contact him of course...

..Morale of the story- You need to handle different issues, different ways. Everyone has a unique problem they are going through, you can't just apply blanket rules...eve though MOST of the times, NC IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO...OTHER TIMES, IT IS NOT.

Summary- A) I genuinely think this guy is no good for you. You are the mother of his child, and if he decides he would rather move on with someone else, well so be it. You need to let go. Nothing you do can make him come back, UNLESS he wants to. In addition, even IF he came back,do you think (considering his past behaviour towards you) that you will live happily ever after? NO. You would probably go through the same break up AGAIN.

B)If however, you want to send the letter as a last resort...even if just to see where it leads..then do it! Do all you can (albeit within reasonable limits) to let him know that if he returns to you now, then reconciliation is possible. (No ultimatums though).

I wish you well.

Bear in mind that I know a lot of people who were in the same position as you. These women went on to marry other men. Thus,the fact that you have a child for him does NOT mean that you must marry him. (Assume for a moment , you didnt have child with him)...would you categorise him as the man for you? (Well, from your relationship history,I doubt it).

Don't allow the fact that you have a child with you, cloud your judgement.

You deserve someone who loves you and wants to be with you. Someone who will never ever think of leaving you, WHILST you are pregnant. This guy is no good...but If you do want to send the letter, then do so.

Goodluck and keep posting.

xxxxx

October 11, 2008

well thanks for all the feedback but there is a lot more to this...I will try to answer some of the questions. He never cheated on me. Never. We have been on and off for 6 or 7 years. The last time we broke up, he moved on quick. We didn't speak for 7 months and then there he was calling me and missing me. I starting seeing him again. Nothing serious though. Never resolved any old issues. More of a casual thing. He wasn't my "BF". 3 months into that is when I got pregnant. He told me straight out he wasn't emotionally ready to Handel a child and all the other BS. he wasn't around during my pregnancy and I heard he got involved with someone else yet again. its his way of dealing with issues cause he cant face himself. He came back before the baby was born. moved back to his parent which were closer to me and cried, begged and was there for the birth and after...I do love him with or without the child. we have something very special. I wasn't to think he loves me but he keeps coming back and forth. I don't want to loose him. I think we can have such a great life together with our daughter if he works on himself and grows...I know I should let it be, but I want to give it one last go before I truly turn my back. I am a good person, independent, and as far as my appearance - I am attractive. well I like to think I am at least

October 12, 2008

If he is always going back and forth, and he runs off to other women when you're pregnant, he isn't in love with you. Words mean nothing, actions mean everything.

You're young and attractive, ditch this loser! I was serious about seeing if he'd go for signing off parental rights (if you can afford not having the child support.)

October 12, 2008

If he is always going back and forth, and he runs off to other women when you're pregnant, he isn't in love with you. Words mean nothing, actions mean everything.

You're young and attractive, ditch this loser! I was serious about seeing if he'd go for signing off parental rights (if you can afford not having the child support.)

he would never go for that. He is totally in love with our daughter and as much as he has done me wrong, he great with her

October 12, 2008

god unknown,

I feel like I'm reading your thread as if I was the one who wrote it.

Our stories are sooo much alike, only age differences and some situations,

but it basically is identical because of the fact we have babies involved.

I wish I could give you advice to your situation of wanting to give that letter or even talk to him regarding the two of you,

but in all honesty, as much as I'm faced with the same questions of wanting to do the same,

I hold back and just give him the space and time to "grow up".

I've done all the begging, pleading, crying, etc the first 2wks after the break up and it seemed to just push him further to his "new gf".

So after getting advice and reading here on LS, I let go...

I still do the "formal contact" when it came to him wanting to see our daughter, but I won't lie to you...it frickin killed me...

I held my tongue and tears each time we spoke on the phone or saw each other when he came to see our baby.

I just can't even put into words how painful it was, and IS to be "forced" into keeping contact for the sake of the baby.

In my selfish side I wish I could just take our daughter far away from here,

and never have anything to do with him.

And it's not like he was really there when I was pregnant with her because

I was in another country at the time and we were broken up during that time (my choice).

I too am faced with wanting to work things out, etc. but he made the choice to end our relationship to be with a younger teenie bopper.

In my honest opinion, I think the more you try to force the issue on the dumper, the more they back away.

It's like that whole psychological thing of doing the opposite of what's being told.

A Psychiatrist at the hospital I work at is a real good friend of the surgeon I work with, and I sorta asked for advice in my situation. He is also a marriage counselor so it was some good advice. He told me that you can't force someone to be in a relationship they wanted to get out of.

Give that person time to want to come back "whole-heartedly". Meaning no persuasiveness or pulling arms, or long drawn out talks to convince them of the mistakes they are making or made. Only that person can make the decision to want to come back when they are ready.

I am sorry if I'm not much help in finding your answers,

I'm a train wreck myself, but I just want u 2 know, I'm here for u,

because we r literally in identical situations.

I really wish I could pm u on here to give u my contact info, so screw it,

here's my email and we can exchange info there: [email protected] (there's a underscore between my first name and last name)

I hope I don't get spam or crazy people emailing me, lol, I will know 4 sure it was from here, *crosses fingers.

God bless girl, we on the same boat floating across the ocean looking for answers, looking for peace.

Love ya.

Cherish

October 12, 2008

god unknown,
I feel like I'm reading your thread as if I was the one who wrote it.
Our stories are sooo much alike, only age differences and some situations,
but it basically is identical because of the fact we have babies involved.

I wish I could give you advice to your situation of wanting to give that letter or even talk to him regarding the two of you,
but in all honesty, as much as I'm faced with the same questions of wanting to do the same,
I hold back and just give him the space and time to "grow up".
I've done all the begging, pleading, crying, etc the first 2wks after the break up and it seemed to just push him further to his "new gf".
So after getting advice and reading here on LS, I let go...
I still do the "formal contact" when it came to him wanting to see our daughter, but I won't lie to you...it frickin killed me...
I held my tongue and tears each time we spoke on the phone or saw each other when he came to see our baby.
I just can't even put into words how painful it was, and IS to be "forced" into keeping contact for the sake of the baby.
In my selfish side I wish I could just take our daughter far away from here,
and never have anything to do with him.
And it's not like he was really there when I was pregnant with her because
I was in another country at the time and we were broken up during that time (my choice).
I too am faced with wanting to work things out, etc. but he made the choice to end our relationship to be with a younger teenie bopper.
In my honest opinion, I think the more you try to force the issue on the dumper, the more they back away.
It's like that whole psychological thing of doing the opposite of what's being told.
A Psychiatrist at the hospital I work at is a real good friend of the surgeon I work with, and I sorta asked for advice in my situation. He is also a marriage counselor so it was some good advice. He told me that you can't force someone to be in a relationship they wanted to get out of.
Give that person time to want to come back "whole-heartedly". Meaning no persuasiveness or pulling arms, or long drawn out talks to convince them of the mistakes they are making or made. Only that person can make the decision to want to come back when they are ready.

I am sorry if I'm not much help in finding your answers,
I'm a train wreck myself, but I just want u 2 know, I'm here for u,
because we r literally in identical situations.
I really wish I could pm u on here to give u my contact info, so screw it,
here's my email and we can exchange info there: [email protected] (there's a underscore between my first name and last name)
I hope I don't get spam or crazy people emailing me, lol, I will know 4 sure it was from here, *crosses fingers.
God bless girl, we on the same boat floating across the ocean looking for answers, looking for peace.
Love ya.
Cherish

Thanks so much. I think i will use your email. We can help eachother out. Thanks again

October 12, 2008

Ok, so today he dropped off baby and i was gonna speak to him. couldnt get up the nerve. i called him and told him that i wrote it all out and to check his mail. he signed online and read the later...He then IM'd me..Just saying he agrees everything is moving fast and he thinks about what life could have been for all of us had we stayed together but hes not "there" now. He said he "doesnt know what to say or think". then he said he was gonna go rest his eyes....

???

It wasnt a flat out rejection but i dont know what to think of this. What do i do next?? Nothing? hes not "there" YET hes with another girl...so he could be "there" with her????????

October 12, 2008

....Just saying he agrees everything is moving fast and he thinks about what life could have been for all of us had we stayed together but hes not "there" now. He said he "doesnt know what to say or think". then he said he was gonna go rest his eyes....

???

It wasnt a flat out rejection but i dont know what to think of this. What do i do next?? Nothing? hes not "there" YET hes with another girl...so he could be "there" with her????????

It was a lot for him to take in, but when he says he's not there NOW... he means he's moved on.

Honey, trust me, this was a flat out rejection.

he's trying to tell you he's moved on.

He's going to rest his eyes.

The letter made his eyes ache, but other than that, it din't hurt in any other way.

He's gone.

It's over.

He's not coming back.

He's 'not there' with you now.

Any more.

Nor ever will be.

He's with her.

And that's just the way it is.

October 12, 2008

It was a lot for him to take in, but when he says he's not there NOW... he means he's moved on.
Honey, trust me, this was a flat out rejection.
he's trying to tell you he's moved on.
He's going to rest his eyes.
The letter made his eyes ache, but other than that, it din't hurt in any other way.

He's gone.
It's over.
He's not coming back.
He's 'not there' with you now.
Any more.
Nor ever will be.
He's with her.
And that's just the way it is.

Thanks. Should i kill myself now or later??

October 13, 2008

He cheated on you many times when you were together and it sounds like he was abusive to you as well.

What makes you want this loser?

October 13, 2008

well thanks for all the feedback but there is a lot more to this...I will try to answer some of the questions. He never cheated on me. Never. We have been on and off for 6 or 7 years. The last time we broke up, he moved on quick. We didn't speak for 7 months and then there he was calling me and missing me. I starting seeing him again. Nothing serious though. Never resolved any old issues. More of a casual thing. He wasn't my "BF". 3 months into that is when I got pregnant. He told me straight out he wasn't emotionally ready to Handel a child and all the other BS. he wasn't around during my pregnancy and I heard he got involved with someone else yet again. its his way of dealing with issues cause he cant face himself. He came back before the baby was born. moved back to his parent which were closer to me and cried, begged and was there for the birth and after...I do love him with or without the child. we have something very special. I wasn't to think he loves me but he keeps coming back and forth. I don't want to loose him. I think we can have such a great life together with our daughter if he works on himself and grows...I know I should let it be, but I want to give it one last go before I truly turn my back. I am a good person, independent, and as far as my appearance - I am attractive. well I like to think I am at least

Look at it this way, atleast you have had someone for 6 or 7 years. How many folks have been involved in relationships for that long? Wish I could say that but I'm happy being single until I find the right person.

October 13, 2008

he cheated on you many times when you were together and it sounds like he was abusive to you as well.
What makes you want this loser?

hes never cheated on me..not once. Just moves on fast is all....

October 13, 2008

I was going to say don't send the letter until I read on and found out you already sent it. My ex used to send me long letters and after the 2nd paragraph I started throwing them away. Why, because like your ex I wasn't "on that page anymore". He has told you how he feels and has moved on with a new person. You also said he was angry because you had the baby when he wasn't ready for a child. I think it is time for you to move on and let him go. Be thankful he is a good dad to your daughter but the truth is if he wanted you back he would have let you know by now.

And no you shouldn't "kill yourself" because he has moved on but just "let him go". You don't need him in your life you want him in your life.

Sign In

My letter to him

Recommended Posts

unknown815

audrey_1

unknown815

audrey_1

lofi_tokyo

unknown815

i11

lofi_tokyo

Hersheys

unknown815

Katherineos123

pretty professional

ninjaturtles

unknown815

pretty professional

unknown815

CherishG

unknown815

unknown815

Geishawhelk

unknown815

pretty professional

You'reasian

unknown815

stillafool

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...