SUNSHINETHRUPAIN73 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Hi, I am looking for clarity, comfort and understanding. I chose to no longer love my husband and at that point I realized I had chose to replace this missing love for that of a married man. For 7 months I chose not consciously to fall in love with a man I was not even attracted. We work closed together on 3 days out of the week. I then subconsciously took it to another level, I had an intimidate dream about. I it was more realistic than it was good. There was hidden messages and then I had another dream, where his wife questioned the fact that he was cheating on him with a woman name Crystal. Now my name is not Crystal, but there is a Crystal that is in our surrounding circle. She is very quiet, but not a fixture yet. Anyway after about 3 weeks, I told him. We talked and he let me know he had feelings for me as well. The killing part is I have been mistress off and on for 14 years and I know the limits and the guidelines. None of this fell into play with. We acted as though we had no boundaries, in essence I knew we would be caught. His acts warranted suspicion. My actions were no better, because at this I was head over hills in love with him. Now the chose was obvious and I got caught up in the things he had told me and there I let my guards all the way down. We did get caught after the fact. The sex was not what I thought and the dream had no justice after this. So we were exposed, but I still love him alot. The way it went down, he probably won't ever talk to me again and I am ok with that. Our friendship is one of the things I miss, my heart skips a beat and I miss he smile and just him. I know I am wrong, but how do I love again or move on with out him. There are days I wish I could just talk to him.
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Have you divorced your husband so he can find someone else who can love him?
Reggie Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Look, this guy cannot have a relationship with a fifth grader. It's illegal. Wait until you hit 18 or so and look for a single guy. Or, maybe when you and your husband finish highschool, things will be better between you.
Geishawhelk Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 You made a lot of choices... mostly to do with what you wanted. funny how other people also get to make choices..... Choose to move on. Hopefully, you've also chosen to divorce your husband, as well as stop loving him, so he can choose someone who will choose to love him.... Spoilt for choice, aren't you?
Author SUNSHINETHRUPAIN73 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 that's just it he has chosen to divorce me, after 10 years of his TREATMENT and me allowing him to do things I truly don't approve of. I decided 11 months ago I was tired of his crap and I turned the love off for him. So I have freed him and now he wants to come back and as he says love me the right way. What is my decision, move on or be stuck in a dead end relationship? NO, Heck NO, I will take the insults and love elsewhere.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I don't get why, when you chose to replace your missing love, you chose an unavailable man. And 14 years as a mistress? You were married ten years of that, right? And you wonder why your husband treated you poorly? What are you looking for here? How to move on from these men who treated you bad? You go be by yourself for a while, until you reach the point where you are no longer willing to compromise your values and ideals.
Author SUNSHINETHRUPAIN73 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 No, you are opinion. I met my husband afterwards.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Oh. So you had a long A with this guy, ended it, then met your husband. Is that the correct chronology?
seibert253 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 You should have never married your husband in the first place.
anne1707 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Oh. So you had a long A with this guy, ended it, then met your husband. Is that the correct chronology? But she is only 34 so it does not add up.
Author SUNSHINETHRUPAIN73 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 I am 34, I have only been married 2 years.
Geishawhelk Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 You know, I really have been trying to follow this, and I still don't have a single clue what the heck is going on.....?
anne1707 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 The killing part is I have been mistress off and on for 14 years . that's just it he has chosen to divorce me, after 10 years of his TREATMENT quote] No, you are opinion. I met my husband afterwards. I am 34, I have only been married 2 years. Mistress for 14 years, 10 years with your husband, met your husband after affair. Whether married for 2 years or 10 years, it still does not add up.
KATANYA Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Started Affair at 20; Met future husband at 24; Married husband at 32; Turned off love for husband at 33 and one month....and here we are today at 34 and wondering what to do. That's how I sum up the numbers thing. Bottom line, if you are 20, 30 , 40 or whatever.....get out of the crappy marriage so he and you can both find a life somewhere else and with people that will make you happy. Time will heal the feelings and hurt from the A and no amount of talking to exMM is going to give you closure because you are not looking nor do you sound ready to let go or close anything right now! JMO....Good luck.
2sure Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Come on! This is so simple! The answer is: CRYSTAL IS DRIVING TRAIN A . SHE IS 32 OP IS DRIVING TRAIN B. SHE HAS BEEN DRIVING IT FOR 14 YEARS. EACH TRAIN GETS TO THE STATION IN 3 - 14 DAYS TRAIN WRECK 2:00 PM
JustBreathe Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 2sure, I think it's something like this: Find a number consisting of 2 digits in which each of the digits from 1 to 9 appears only once. This number should satisfy the following requirements: a. The number should be divisible by 9. b. If the most right digit is removed, the remaining number should be divisible by 8. c. If then again the most right digit is removed, the remaining number should be divisible by 7. d. etc. until the last remaining number of one digit which should be divisible by 1. That should clear things up.
2sure Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 THATS very good!! OP - if this is not a math word problem, you have my sincere apology to have laughed at your effort to communicate your problem . And I mean it. If you try again, everyone here is open minded and supportive. K.
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