Hurtling Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Hello, ok well this is my story, about 5 months ago i was sitting at my computer and this girl convo's me on msn, she was from Thialand but she was studying here in Ireland, Dublin, she opened a chat with me and we started hitting it off, flirting with each other casually talking and the basic "getting to know each other". We eventually met up and went out together and had a good time and really hit it off and liked one another, she went to my place i went to her place met her mum and step dad (he worked as in a bank in a top notch job apparently, .. later though who i realised with time was a bit of an arse tbqh as he was a very quiet man and didnt speak much even to his wife or step daughter and as i know definitely now was a very spiteful obnoxious man) he didnt really like me or anyone by the looks of things. She was due to go to Thialand to meet her American Dad over there (she was also meant to go over to Thialand with her old BF "who also was going to go over and did, just not with her) anyway we talked together after meeting a few times and discussed the possibility of me going over to Thialand "long story short i ended up going" met her dad (not real life dad) but he was a very nice man (who she stated was a bit of a manhore) he was well off and we got on together right away. We had a good holiday together. When we got back to ireland a month later (we did manage to have some arguements while over there btw, i just put it down as "finding common ground" as i did get a little agry at times aswell for no apparent reason but ime sure there was more to it) her parents began to act wierd... because of the fact that her mothers sister had come over to ireland for a short holiday the step dad likes his space and starting venting out (not at me) but behind my back about me, and said i had no respect for him that i was wrong for my GF and felt that i would take her down to my level kind of thing.. (btw her mother was actually quite nice unlike the step dad or so it seemed; to me now i know that the mother is really two faced and puts me down all the time which puts pressure on my GF). The first fight insued between them (i was on the mobile phone btw at this time i was at home) she threatened to leave the house already packing her things and come over to me (as they tried to threaten her with them not wanting anything more to do with them if she walked out or stayed with me. Ok now after 2 months of tensions rising etc and her sometimes being very immature and beginning senseless (as it seemed to me at the time) arguements with me "but i think now looking back that the real reason was due to her mother being bad and trying to control her life" (anyway she was saying things like i didnt have anything that i had no friends no education no job.. or no family... nothing) which is true or was true then to an extent i suppose, things have changed now though (because i feel this is the only reason and she has said it too, that its the only real reason her parents dont like me and why she is or has began to start believing in what they are saying)... true i do not have an education, much of a social life she thinks ime lazy and i have to admit i was kind of and i feel very stupid and foolish for not seeing this coming but i guess it is true what they say"you dont realise what you had. til its gone" i applied to the army like 5 months ago too and this was what i was going to do only this budget and global financial melt-down may or will probably destroy that last lingering hope i may have. Ok you get the picture now i hope, or a view in at least, so i was staying in her house when we began arguing about us and her family etc i was sitting there on her bed contemplating breaking up with her there and then, and so i got up and i said that she needed to grow up a little that sometimes she could be very immature and just ... a bitch " as i was trying as i often did do before try and fix the situation that was the problem" but looking back it was really something i couldnt fix as her mother was arguing and badgering on at her about me not being good enough so much (wrong thing to say i know) but when we argued she tended to go quiet and just not say a word, leaving me frustrated and confused. Anyway a couple days later she texted me (she did this once before,broke up with me over a text!) i was so devestated the first time (which wasnt long before the second time) i ran out to her then and try my best to patch things up and it seemed to work but i really felt shakin, i tried so hard to fix and problems that popped up that... well i think it may of only added to the problem more rather finding a solution "looking back now" Its only been 3 days so its still fresh but i do suspect greatly that she had a big fight with her step dad and her mother and they put there foot down and maybe said that we just dont want "me" in her life that they where afraid i wasnt good enough and wouldnt amount to much in my life that i was uneduacted and all the rest, (btw i have now got a, while it maybe just a job, a job in a very prestigous gorgouse hotel and have plans for going into college next year as a mature student of 23 to a degree in business marketing) I know this is a really... long page but ime sorry i just feel i need to get advise about this and help, i am very shakin from this what has transpired and i feel so so... sad i see her everywhere i really do, i cant stay in the apartment for very long as i just end up becoming very upset and missing her even more, ime just so upset, very very hurt and i feel i will never get over this, :( this is just hell for me all i want is to ring her or text her. I coulnt sleep properly last night and woke early (this is my First relationship i have been involved in, anything near serious) but i really dont know how to deal with this other than try my best to preoccupy my mind whether its going for a run, look for a job (well thats sorted now, first day i really made the effort tbh) Is there any HOPE!!??? of me getting back with her? i really do love her and i am very motivated now i feel it was the shake i really needed to snap me into the active athletic and responsible person i am really! please help she has also said that she didnt love me and that she agreed with her parents and that we never did things together (i brought her out to a fancy restaurant on her birthday had cocktails after it) i really tried to be there for her and give her what i could and treat her really good and make her feel special, i brought her out to the cinema, we went shopping we had fun together. But i know she is lying about her not loving me as when i said i new she loved me she would cry over the phone, i just cant help but feel her parents have persuaded her adn poisined her against me. ;( She did also say that maybe.. maybe if i managed somehow to be doing something " ile assume (productive)" with my time that maybe we could meet up again and try again maybe.. but i am beginning to think that her parents have just really gone to town on telling her enough is enough (for the second time) and have tried the real serious but worried approach as they new we started really to find it difficult. Anyway please help... i really hope theres hope of me working things out with her, because i really feel love her. Ime very sorry for writing a book long page i hope you read it all so you can get a real indepth look at it all and see what is going on. Thank you in advance for all replies.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 This post is really really long, I tried to read all of it though. I'm going to have to advice you not to hold out for hope in this situation. It will only prevent you from healing and moving on. Sounds to me like the relationship was rocky through almost its entirety, and rather than dissecting it and its issues at length, you should assume its over, and that theres no second chance... and MAYBE a long time down the road things will turn out. Its not likely though, but maybe it can happen. Right now though, I don't think it will.
popey Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 You sound like you are really hurting, and I empathize and am sorry. Unfortunately, if her parents can influence her so much, there's probably not much you can do about it if anything. Like the previous poster said, maybe someday, but not likely soon. It is a hard and painful thing to deal with, but if you can't control it, best thing is to let yourself grieve it and move on. I'm sorry.
Author Hurtling Posted October 11, 2008 Author Posted October 11, 2008 i am hurting alot... i woke up today and i immediately found myself thinking of her and me. I keep trying to think of a solution desperate to find any way back, but i feel hopeless. I know it was a long message and thank you for reading it all and thank you for your advice, i came right on here because, i really ime really trying to come to terms with my feelings now, i just cant believe that i feel i loved her this much and didnt realise it til the end. ;( I do know though that this situation has learned me a valuable lesson, in terms of relationships, although i feel now that it is tough for me at the moment and cant see myself with another girl (IS this NORMAL behaviour?). I feel i really now now that if havent got your priorties straight and you are doing something productive with your life and are going somewhere, no relationship can have confidence in you. Thank you very much for your replies and for reading that ultra long post! i really appreciate it and thank you very much for taking the time. i feel i miss her so... so much. I keep wondering should i text her.. should i let her know of how i love much i love her? should i try again? Should i at least try and be friends? and not refer to "us" but just be relaxed and have fun together away from her family? ;( i really miss her now so much... it feels like a sickness, and i wont get over it. ;( Ty for your replies
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