RainbowBlue Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 My ex went weird after 20+ years together. We broke up for 3 months last year and he went on a lot of dates and LOVED it. We reconcilled but he did not cease contact with some women. There were emails and texts "Goodnight Sexy". After three times catching him out still doing this and promises he was just being silly and those women meant nothing "I have been stupid, I enjoyed the attention, I'm not sleeping around or anything. I will stop all contact I promise) - three strikes and I kicked him out and it absolutely broke my heart. He said it was because of stress of his business failing, the attention from these other women was some kind of escape. I accepted that reason for a while but when it continued I kicked him out and have been through emotional hell and back. We were always best friends, soul mates. I wanted to not see him for at least a year but he insisted we stay friends. So I see him once or twice a week. Then a few weeks ago I found out he had been in a 2 months very special relationship that did not work out. That cut me so badly all over again. and a week after he told me and two weeks after the breakup of that relationship he calls, he is crying, says he has been beyond stupid and wants me back. I said no. But he says he will fight for me and prove he has changed and back to the person he was when we were good for 20 years before any of this happened. I still said no. So he says while he fights for me, whether I take him back or not, he wants us to stay friends. He want me to meet his new friends, especially Marie who became his new best friend a year ago. He says Marie and I are both his best friends (he is not romantically involved with Marie) and that she and I would get on so great together. Can he and I stay friends? Should I meet Marie? I'd like to stay friends but if I do not decided to reconcile I think its best I never see him. And in the meantime, if I meet Marie, then I am entering his new world and do I want to do that if we are not reconciling? If I meet Marie and we get on great, and my ex and I do not reconcile, one day when I go to Maries I will find him there his oneday new partner. I don't think I would cope with that. And if I have a new partner one day, how will he feel about me being friends with my ex? I want to stay friends, but I just doubt it can work. Right now I do not see how we can reconcile, after all the hurt. But I have not made up my mind yet. If I do not reconcile and I tell him I can't retain the friendship it will break his heart. Has anyone been in this situation?
Mr. Lucky Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Amongst the criterion I have for my friends are trust, integrity and the knowledge that they will treat and respect me as I treat and respect them. If your standards are close to the same, does your STBX meet any of them? Mr. Lucky
carhill Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 Are you still in love with him? Does he meet your criteria for a friend of the male persuasion, absent his history as your S/O or husband?
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 You two cannot be friends anymore. He is a selfish person who is putting his needs well above yours. He wants you as his back up and someone he can always rely on but you will NEVER be able to rely on him. He's the one who's losing out, not you. Sorry you're in pain, but in all honesty, atleast until YOU heal - This man has to leave you alone so you can look after yourself. Tell him goodbye, tell him he can do whatever he pleases, and leave you alone. Go no contact.
Gunny376 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 She doesn't post here anymore, but per your case? I would recommed you post a forumn/thread search in regard to anything regarding "LadyJane" Your and her stories sound very similar. They're still together btw! And last I heard? :love::love::love::love:
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