desertfire Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 All, Here is the scenario : Wife left me a year ago (10/12/07) , on the verge of divorce by Feb, she discovered she was expecting.. (we now have a son) and as of recently we have been talking about reconciling... Given the following (in no particular order) : I feel that I really want to be with my son.. he's adorable and the cutest thing.She left me because she was going through a personal crisis.. medical, family, and personal issues collided. Her medical complications were hormonal and affected her mental state... still do to a certain extentShe trashed all the efforts of MC over the year previous to her leaving. Never made an effortWe went to MC after we decided to reconcile a few months ago, or at least give it a chance.I do love her as a person in my life, am affectionate and everything that goes with it to the fullest extent of the definition.. but I am not "in" love with her. I do find her appealing, but my drive for her was crushed when she walked out the door. I am afraid that this second chance will not be fulfilling, or that it is not going to get a fair shake.. Believe me when I say that I would love to be "in" love with her again and lust for her, but something just isn't ticking. During our separation I have had a GF that was amazing, and could still have her if I don't reconcile, but I am not comparing apples and oranges, and I have set aside the GF to give this reconciliation a fair chance. My wife and I are great buddies, see eye to eye on everything, and are "best friends", but it feels like I am living with my cousin... I don't want that.. What can I/we do?
Geishawhelk Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 maybe I'm not good at maths, or I'm just not getting it... I do assume the little kid is yours, huh? She left you a year ago, on Otober 12th? in February she discovered she was pregnant? Tell me I'm wrong! If you are reconciling with your cousin, it's never going to get better. Personally? I would continue with divorce, maintain good relations with her for your son's sake (clear that one up for me, will ya?!) and pck up with your GF. Life moves on. If you have any doubts at all, then the doubts are not going to go away. sorry, but there we are.
Author desertfire Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 -geishawelk Yes, the child is mine.. her hormonal issues caused her to continue having normal periods for the entire first trimester.. he was born on 8/1/08.. I'm not sure I am actually having doubts as much as I am somewhat uncomfortable with her... I know she has realized that she gave up the golden goose egg and that she has come around and is willing to do everything it takes for things to be right, but there is something missing... I almost want to believe that I have gotten used to not having the "drama" or "chaos" around... although divorcing isn't any different.
Katherineos123 Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 It sounds to me like youre just not in love with her anymore. I mean, you love her, as a person, but you dont seem to be "in love" with her, hence, no fireworks between you. It sounds like you two have a long, complicated history together, and its prefectly reasonable to assume that these stressors have broken your bond. I think you should pursue whomever makes you happy. You said you were seeing someone who was amazing, why not continue with something thats amazing, rather than rebuild something thats merely familiar...
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