V.Vixen Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Got your attention, riiiight? I love sex, always have. I have had one night stands, but not many. As much as I love sex, I don't find randoms and one night stands as satidfying as I did a couple years ago. I can't do it, so I have just not been having sex for a while. I have dated 5 different guys since my last time having sex. None of them have gotten to this point. The last one that I just broke it off with after 3 dates told me that he was not experienced and doesn't plan on sex for a long time with anyone. It is a catch 22. I don't want to do the random thing, but how long do I have to wait?! Grrrr...lol. I did the FWB thing for 9 months with the same guy, and he is the last one that I was with. That was broken off due to reasons I will not go into, but it worked nicely because I had known him for a very long time.
Federica Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Is there a point to this thread? What is it you wish to ask, or discuss?
Author V.Vixen Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 I guess not...heh. It is for open discussion, I guess. A chance for me to vent as well. Just sharing my frustrations, seeing if anyone can relate.
Federica Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Ok, thank you. It helps to be a bit more forthcoming and make your posts more succinct. And much as the thread title may be an effective lure, it doesn't do much to illustrate your point... OK? Thank you!
Author V.Vixen Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 Ok, I didn't realize there were so many rules here.
Kamille Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 I guess not...heh. It is for open discussion, I guess. A chance for me to vent as well. Just sharing my frustrations, seeing if anyone can relate. I can relate. My sex-drive keeps increasing it seems and I've had a few so so experiences with ONS. I had a ONS (wich turned into a 3 night stand) this summer and encurred an pregnancy scare and an STD scare. Negative on both counts, but it made me realize ONS weren't for me. I'm ok with using toys until I find a human with whom it'll be safe to play with!
Author V.Vixen Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 I can relate. My sex-drive keeps increasing it seems and I've had a few so so experiences with ONS. I had a ONS (wich turned into a 3 night stand) this summer and encurred an pregnancy scare and an STD scare. Negative on both counts, but it made me realize ONS weren't for me. I'm ok with using toys until I find a human with whom it'll be safe to play with! that is the thing. It is what I like to call the "ick factor". What starts out as something harmless between 2 consenting adults usually turns into a walk of shame/std freak out/general creepy feeling the next day. Yes, my toys get good use. Sometimes a warm body is nice, but such is life, right?!
MMinerva Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 I understood something from the into enough to coment... And I personally can relate as well... Have you ever though about having a relationship with a female? lol, I know it sounds like I'm coming out of left field, but hear me out... I am bisexual, but never have considered a relationship with a women could work out for me, for my own reasons. BUT I do enjoy women sexually, and have created a stress free relationship with one, and we are up front andopen in our relationship. We take care of each other sexually, and are free to go and seak healthy relationships with men without rushing into bed with them too soon becuase of our sex drive. does that help?
Federica Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Ok, I didn't realize there were so many rules here. Well worth reading. Ok. I'm done!
Author V.Vixen Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 I am new here, but not new to being a member of a forum by any means. I think the title explains the post quite well.
Green Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 ur hot come visit me and you can be my sex gf forever
Isolde Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Hey, I can totally relate! I dont think your thread is pointless at all. I think men sometimes don't understand that a woman's sex drive can be just as strong as a man's, especially when she has no outlet for it. But I agree that FWB and ONS are more stress than they're worth. It does make me upset though when people say just use a vibrator, they dont understand that women need the real thing just like men do. How long have you been celibate?
Isolde Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 ur hot come visit me and you can be my sex gf forever Only if I can be in your harem, too!
Isolde Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 told me that he was not experienced and doesn't plan on sex for a long time with anyone. That's a really weird thing for a guy to say after just 3 dates. Is that why he broke up w/ you, because he was afraid of sex? very very odd.
Green Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Only if I can be in your harem, too! I'm already a big Isolde fan I'll look for you when I'm down town tonight maybe we can share a dance
Author V.Vixen Posted October 12, 2008 Author Posted October 12, 2008 Oh my.. Please don't use the term celibate. I hate saying it like that. It has been since July. I have had make out sessions and stuff but not much more. Truth be told, I am thinking that the gentleman I last dating may not like women sexually. The reason i think this is because he just didn't seem to have that normal sexual attraction to females, but continued to pretend like he enjoyed kissing me. When I broke things off with him he seemed relieved and immediately started talking to me on a friendship level! We have still talked every day since... you can join the harem. lol The frustration is that I could easily go to my local bar and get picked up for a ONS, but I just don't want the trouble anymore... so here I sit waiting.
Isolde Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I've been celibate for a lot longer (not like your feelings aren't valid, in fact it's harder in the first few months than later on). It's not by choice, unless you consider being picky about whom I date a choice. It's hard because sex is pretty much in my top 3 favorite things to do list, but it's worth it because when I do find a guy I can have a real relationship with, it will be so much better and more fun than just a fleeting hookup. To me, sex is so amazing that it needs to be taken seriously. I've learned that the hard way (not that I've had a lot of hookups... very few, in fact, but enough to give me an impression of what's right for me and what's not).
Author V.Vixen Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Celibacy just isn't for me. I won't give into it and sleep with a random again though. I just have a very high sex drive, and at this point in my life I don't find that to be a good thing. I wish I could sweep it under the rug until I am in a relationship again. Let's just say that the next guy who gets it will be VERY lucky. ha I was with my ex husb for 8 1/2 years (age 17- 25) so I always had access to it, I really did take it for granted. My lovely FWB situation was way too good to be true too. The guy would cook for me (he is a chef), fix anything I needed fixed around my apartment, give me amazing sexual experiences, and then leave until the next time... no strings attached.... sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol
Konfuzion Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I am in a semi similar situation in that I am seeing someone but we have yet to progress past kissing and she has made it very clear that she wants to take things slow, I don't have an issue with sleeping with random people but I do have a problem with sleeping with someone when i am seeing someone... I am like a 3 times a day kinda person....
PWSX3 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 WOW! I am in the beginning stages of a divorce (stbxw moved out two months ago), we were married for 26yrs & it scares me that in a few years I might be out there in the dating world & how much it has changed. I will not do a one night stand, that wasn't how I was raised but it seems like now days that is pretty common. Then like people have already said all the bad things you can catch from people is also scary.
cutegirl Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 To me, masturbating is much better than sex... I went through a period where I didn't have sex for almost seven years (in my twenties) and I was fine as long as I had my toys... What can a man give you that masturbating/toys don't? Some people want an emotional connection blah blah and for those people I guess a relationship is fine... But for people who just want SEX and are thinking about getting a FWB or having a one night stand, what can such an encounter provide you that you cannot give yourself? If you are just looking for sex, isn't it much better to just use a vibrator and watch porn... Personally I think getting yourself off is much better than sex, you know what you like and you get off everytime. A man is not required. I know I can probably go by another 10 years without sex, as long as I can get myself off.
Isolde Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 To me, masturbating is much better than sex... I went through a period where I didn't have sex for almost seven years (in my twenties) and I was fine as long as I had my toys... What can a man give you that masturbating/toys don't? Some people want an emotional connection blah blah and for those people I guess a relationship is fine... But for people who just want SEX and are thinking about getting a FWB or having a one night stand, what can such an encounter provide you that you cannot give yourself? If you are just looking for sex, isn't it much better to just use a vibrator and watch porn... Personally I think getting yourself off is much better than sex, you know what you like and you get off everytime. A man is not required. I know I can probably go by another 10 years without sex, as long as I can get myself off. A vibrator can't cuddle, caress you or hold you. If you don't want those things, more power to you, but most of us like human affection, which doesn't necessarily translate into sex.
cutegirl Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 A vibrator can't cuddle, caress you or hold you. If you don't want those things, more power to you, but most of us like human affection, which doesn't necessarily translate into sex. The op said she is looking for just "sex" so by that I assume that sex outside of a relationship is fine. If that is the case, why would she want to be held by a stranger etc or cuddle with him? Perhaps she does, I don't know, but personally I wouldn't.
Isolde Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I was just making a general statement. To me, sex is very much tied up with the cuddling etc, and I think for lots of women too, and since one generally doesn't cuddle in bed with a nonsexual partner, that can be very much missed when not in a rel. The OP also said she didn't want randoms anymore.
Recommended Posts