Balthazar Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Ok, so I have been dating Irene for about a 10 days and things are not bad at all. Good conversation, fun times and growing intimacy. We are on for Saturday. So everything is right in the world? Nope. Joanne(see my previous thread)and I talk on Facebook a day ago. We have remained in "friends" status on Facebook and she sent me a message about three weeks ago wishing me a good start to the school year, adding she has been busy with translating at conferences and will be out of town for most of September. I replied with a curt "thanks". Fast forward to this week. On Monday I speak to Maria(mutual friend of Joanne and myself) and tell her about Irene(my new GF). She wishes me well but is concerned about are age difference. I respond that I am concerned too. Yesterday afternoon I enter Facebook and start talking with an ex-student. I notice Joanne online and decide to just say "hello". She greets me too and we start chatting. At some point I comment that I am chatting with an ex-student who is pestering me a bit and Joanne types "She is pestering you because you are handsome". I feel that she is making fun of me and just drop the matter. She then tells me that she will be out of town again this Saturday(she is in town now) but that we should go to her church sometime. I respond that Sunday morning church doesn't fit in with my Saturday night debauchery and she says that is an issue. Anyway, I cut things short and say goodbye at that point. -continued in part two
Author Balthazar Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 PART TWO I call Maria this morning and it seems she told Joanna I have been dating someone new. I tell Maria about Joanne and our chat on Facebook. She warns me that Joanne may be looking to establish ties again and may be testing the waters to see if I still have feelings for her. I reply that I understand Joanne may be playing around, and in any case, I wouldn't go to church with her; it is not something I would normally do and I don't see why I should do it for Joanne. My problem is that I DO still have feelings for Joanne. Irene(almost 22) is beautiful, enthusiastic, and knows what she wants but our age difference worries me with regards to our future together. Joanne(31) is closer to my age(38) but is unstable and flaky. She supposedly wants to settle down but this does not show in her actions.
Author Balthazar Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 PART THREE I am pretty sure Joanne wants contact after the Facebook chat, but I am afraid she will just back off again when things get a bit serious. I could see her seriously but I am afraid people don't change - especially over just a few months. At the same time, Irene and I are doing great. If I put the age issue aside, there are no other problems, What are your opinions folks? THanks,
Geishawhelk Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Balthazar, at this point, I think you need to relax. Take a step back and see what happens. I'm not a fan of 'he said, she said' because any news third hand is already a bit like Chinese whispers... you don't know how it was said, in what circumstances, the facial expressions and intonation are absent.... In short, I would, if I were you, just be friendly and casual and see where it goes with Irene. I hate to be cruel, but you showed a lot of patience and tolerance for Joanne. You gave her every opportunity to be receptive and pro-active. She umm-ed and ahh-ed and basically gave you such a run-around. Let her come to you. If you hear absolutely zip - zilch - nada - nothing from her in a fortnight (I doubt a woman can keep quiet for that long!) then approach her..."What's this I hear about you....?" If Maria keeps coming back atcha, tell her - as nicely as you can - that right now, you need to hear it from the horse's mouth, because you can't keep living your life on a back-burner.... I'd also be a bit more open with Irene to thry to gauge where she feels you stand with her. As 50% of the partnership, maybe it's time she gave a little input.......?
Author Balthazar Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 I'm fine Geisha and relaxed. I agree with you about Joanne and will not contact her in any way. Joanne may just want to establish a friendship by inviting me to her church, but I'm not a church goer. Concerning Irene, we haven't talked about the age issue. I don't really want to bring it up, although it is on my mind. Maybe I will have more clarity after a few days. Thanks,
Geishawhelk Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Oh I'm not suggesting you discuss age. I'm suggesting you discuss where she sees this 'thang' between you, going.... No pressure...just, how does she feel....? Don't mention age. If she doesn't, I really don't see the issue.
Author Balthazar Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 Things are still in progress though. It may not be time to talk to seriously yet... I will see how things go tomorrow night.
Recommended Posts