sparkey64 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 My wife and i have been split for 2-1/2 months. I suspected infidelity, and still do. Life is getting better in that im not so depressed, but I would still save my marriage and my family if I could. We were married for 18 years split up one time before. 2 kids 15 and 18. I have been doing a pretty good job of no contact (given that we have the two kids its pretty tough). except: Took my wife out for coffee a couple of weeks back and it didn't go well. Night ended with "I don't want to be with you! we are done!" type stuff from her. Soo... I fuond out last week from my daughter, I wasn't prying my daughter was upset and mad at her mom. Apparently a new guy is in the picture. and has been there quite often. daughter wasn't happy with her, and I got in a fight with her and yelled something to her that "we had serious marital problems and her solution was to get a BF", then told her to FOff and hung up. Since then, she broke it off with the guy last friday. came by my place to pick up some stuff on Sunday, picked up very little of what i had ready for her, and made a comment that I looked like Ive been working out, I haven't been but whatever. monday was our anniversary. I didn't contact her and played hockey and went for beers after. SHe brought my daughter over to pick up some stuff later that night. A book or somthing. And my daughter told me later that she had been asking questions about me: if I had someone over, where I was if I had gone out etc... well its thursday and no more contact, except she called me at lunch and left a message for me regarding if I knew anythig about a funeral for a friend of our kids. now what, i feel like I 'may' have a chance... but not so sure. And I am starting to date again, tho nothing serious, nor do I expect anything serious out of these dates. Like I said, my family means a lot to me, and I still have feelings for my wife. I thought we were getting along great til last fall then she had a miscarriage. Her at 41 me at 45, I was a bit relieved, she not so much, that was the start of our problems. Should I approach my ex, or just wait out awhile longer.
SRV Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 I would suggest that you wait a little while to clear your mind. Spend sometime reflecting both the pros and cons of your decisions and what you what out of it in the end. There are many issues, especially the infidelity that you are suspecting that need to be cleared up. I would suggest a marriage counselor, but you have to let your decision be driven from a rational point of view when you are calm and collected.
Al_Bundy Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 My wife and i have been split for 2-1/2 months. I suspected infidelity, and still do. Life is getting better in that im not so depressed, but I would still save my marriage and my family if I could. We were married for 18 years split up one time before. 2 kids 15 and 18. I have been doing a pretty good job of no contact (given that we have the two kids its pretty tough). except: Took my wife out for coffee a couple of weeks back and it didn't go well. Night ended with "I don't want to be with you! we are done!" type stuff from her. Soo... I fuond out last week from my daughter, I wasn't prying my daughter was upset and mad at her mom. Apparently a new guy is in the picture. and has been there quite often. And your daughter knew and didn't say anything?? What was she going to do, sit and say nothing and let her mom keep messing around on her dad? daughter wasn't happy with her, and I got in a fight with her and yelled something to her that "we had serious marital problems and her solution was to get a BF", then told her to FOff and hung up. Not to mention she put her daughter in the middle of it. How deplorable. Since then, she broke it off with the guy last friday. came by my place to pick up some stuff on Sunday, picked up very little of what i had ready for her, and made a comment that I looked like Ive been working out, I haven't been but whatever. monday was our anniversary. I didn't contact her and played hockey and went for beers after. SHe brought my daughter over to pick up some stuff later that night. A book or somthing. And my daughter told me later that she had been asking questions about me: if I had someone over, where I was if I had gone out etc... Thats because she is desperate and grabbing at straws. If you have been seeing someone, then she can say she isn't doing anything wrong. now what, i feel like I 'may' have a chance... but not so sure. And I am starting to date again, tho nothing serious, nor do I expect anything serious out of these dates. but good for you. You deserve to be happy after what she has drug you and your daughter through. Like I said, my family means a lot to me, and I still have feelings for my wife. I thought we were getting along great til last fall then she had a miscarriage. Do you suspect that it was another man's baby? Should I approach my ex, or just wait out awhile longer. Why do you want her? she's a cheater.
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