sigh Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Just having an awful day. When he realized that I was done, he contacted me quite a bit for a few days, then just stopped. I'm feeling physical pain from missing him, even though I found out he told me quite a few lies to make himself look cool. I didn't even realize adult men did that, so I definitely have no idea why he did. I am so confused with a shattered self esteem and am shocked to find out that so much trivial cr*p were lies.
Owl Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Use that hurt...get ANGRY with him for treating you the way he did!!!!!!!! Anger will help you stop hurting...and enforce NC with him. The other side of this...what are you doing to actively help yourself get over this? Working out? (great way to deal with stress and depression...it sends you to bed so tired you can't lie awake with all the thoughts in your head) Something to occupy the time you used to spend with him...a new hobby, renew an old one...SOMETHING. Something that takes attention and focus...again, so you're not spending your time thinking of him. And...have a support structure in place...friends/family that you can go to when you're down/hurt/weak/etc...
loveORlogic Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I am so confused with a shattered self esteem and am shocked to find out that so much trivial cr*p were lies. This! Atleast you have an advantage that alot of others dont have, you already know he lied, you already caught him in lies. This alone should suffice to help you go surpass this trouble times.
Author sigh Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 I have been trying to stay busy. I'm looking into counselling as well, but without insurance I'm not sure if it's feasible. I can't blame him for that because there must have been something wrong with me to begin with to get myself mixed up in this in the first place. I just have so many unanswered questions that it's really bothering me. Why lie about stupid things just to make yourself look good? You're a grown man!!! If he lied about stupid things, then he most certainly lied about everything else. Him lying about the friendship and love and letting me open up to him and supporting me.....that hurts.
smile711 Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 sigh, i am so sorry you are going through this. i am 8 weeks into it and i won't lie, it's the toughest thing i've ever done. but it starts to get less over time...not in a day or two, but after weeks or months, you WILL be able to look back and see this situation not in isolation but as part of a grander scheme that you are not privy to yet. meanwhile, stay as busy as you can. counseling has helped me a great deal, so if you can make it happen then i say go for it. it's money well spent. also, i have been reading a lot (it helps me but it's not for everyone) and if you are looking for a great book to get you through the tough times, try "A New Earth" by Eckert Toole. it's a deep read but it talks a lot about how we let our situations and emotions define us and then we lose sight of who we really are. please hang in there and have faith-in God, in yourself, in your family and friends, in your future-whatever faith you need to put one foot in front of the other. please remember one of my favorite quotes-"The only way out is through".
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