LosingFaith1777 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Hello Everyone, Please help me out because this thing has been making me really upset. About a month ago my ex and I broke up, after a 3 months relationship. Even though it seems to be very short, it seemed longer because we were with each other pretty much everyday. I pretty much broke up with her by not talking to her (as I don't love her anymore and I know that we are incompatible) (but she was the one who says why dont we break up). The day after the breakup, she came to my flat to talk about getting back together, she cried and cried and says give her a try again and promised that she will be better etc. I told her that I don't want to get back together with her, and we are really incompatible. But she refuses to hear my reasoning. In the end she took my knife from my kitchen and walked away with my knife and threatened to committ suicide. She did not in the end... One month later, she wrote me a letter, saying that she still loves me and wants to talk to me after her exams. Please could anyone tell me what to do? I can't seem to reason with her. The only way me (or anyone) to get her to stop talking is to shout at her, then she would leave me alone (for a while anyways). Another thing about her - she always tries to make up excuse to seem to get back with me. First she wrote me a letter saying that she is sorry, and that we should at least be friends (when she clearly does not mean it), and her latest letter says that she still loves me as much as before... Please help me out =( I want her to leave me alone...
confused999 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 The threatening to commit suicide thing is a bad sign -- be grateful you broke up after just a few months. I guess the best thing and only thing you can do is ignore her. She knows you broke up. No amount of reasoning with her will work, so cutting off any contact is your only alternative. It's a strange situation, I'm sorry you have to go through it.
Author LosingFaith1777 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Thanks a lot Anyone else had similar experience?
amaysngrace Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Threatening suicide is abusive. It's a ploy. Maybe she is serious or maybe she isn't but she definitely needs help. Be firm with her. Tell her it's over and to leave you alone. And tell her next time she contacts you you're calling the police.
ninjaturtles Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Why do you say you are incompatible? Well, threatning to clit her wrists is a warning sign of her potential capabilities. Tell her you are sorry but you do not want to get back with her. Tell her you are incompatible..and tell her the reasons why. Tell her that if she contiunes to contact you, you will have no choice but to get a restraining order against her. Why do you say you are incompatible?
Author LosingFaith1777 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Why do you say you are incompatible? Well, threatning to clit her wrists is a warning sign of her potential capabilities. Tell her you are sorry but you do not want to get back with her. Tell her you are incompatible..and tell her the reasons why. Tell her that if she contiunes to contact you, you will have no choice but to get a restraining order against her. Why do you say you are incompatible? Why would I want to be with the kind of person who slit their wrists? I can't tell her why we are incapatible because it will sound too harsh.
unknown815 Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Cut the poor girl a break...I know its nuts to threaten suicide but everyone on this forum knows what its like to have their heart broken and how you can turn nuts in a blink. I'm sure just needs a lil time to come to terms with everything. ignore it, get over yourself - the girl isn't gonna kill herself. And i def wouldnt be screaming at her or making her feel any worse than she already does....
RainbowBlue Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 This girl is going through a really hard time. I would tell her that for a relationship to work both have to feel a very strong sense of compatibility, and unfortunately you no longer feel that. Tell her she is a great girl, and she needs to move on and find someone who is right for her. Keep the conversations short. Do not defend yourself. Do not blame her for anything. Do not shout. Be calm and say the same things again and again. And tell her you sincerely wish all the best for her. Tell her you know its hard, but she will get through it. By doing this nicely yet firmly, I think it will make it easier for her to move on. But you have to be careful not to be a 'support' for her to lean on get through this as that would hinder her progress. When she calls, just be nice, calm ..give her a few minutes and say you have to go now. Maybe its good to just listen and not say much at all, letting her get out her feelings. Then reminder her she is wonderful and that you wish her the best, and she needs to go now.
You'reasian Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Hello Everyone, Please help me out because this thing has been making me really upset. About a month ago my ex and I broke up, after a 3 months relationship. Even though it seems to be very short, it seemed longer because we were with each other pretty much everyday. I pretty much broke up with her by not talking to her (as I don't love her anymore and I know that we are incompatible) (but she was the one who says why dont we break up). The day after the breakup, she came to my flat to talk about getting back together, she cried and cried and says give her a try again and promised that she will be better etc. I told her that I don't want to get back together with her, and we are really incompatible. But she refuses to hear my reasoning. In the end she took my knife from my kitchen and walked away with my knife and threatened to committ suicide. She did not in the end... One month later, she wrote me a letter, saying that she still loves me and wants to talk to me after her exams. Please could anyone tell me what to do? I can't seem to reason with her. The only way me (or anyone) to get her to stop talking is to shout at her, then she would leave me alone (for a while anyways). Another thing about her - she always tries to make up excuse to seem to get back with me. First she wrote me a letter saying that she is sorry, and that we should at least be friends (when she clearly does not mean it), and her latest letter says that she still loves me as much as before... Please help me out =( I want her to leave me alone... Do not respond to her contacts.
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