Author Kamille Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 That was also my point. Why do you find it such a turn off when someone likes you, while wishing some other guy who isn't putting out his feelings (or even asking you out), so to speak, elicits thrill? I too have had this problem, so I'm curious. Maybe your attraction requires unavailability, consciously or unconsciously? That's a tough question which as so many different answers, some contradictory. One, I'm not sure I'm turned off when someone likes me. It's when I feel they like me too much for just how much we know each other that I freak out. I've been trying to figure out why - but of course it's hard. I'm 32 and have been mostly single for a lot of my life, which means that I've dated a lot of guys. I would say I ended the dating relationships 80% of the time and I hate that conversation. Yet I can't help but think of that conversation when I'm not sure of my feelings and they seem overly keen. Then again, maybe I end the conversation 80% of the time because for some reason, I am commitmentphobic. You know how cats never want to be stuck in a room without an exit? For some reason that's how I operate. I've never prioritized love in my life for reasons at time noble (I think romantic love can be quite selfish) and not so noble (maybe I'm too focused on my career). I've also felt 'boxed in' in pasts relationships, where my exes would expect me to behave a certain way because I was a woman; ie, it was expected that I would be the caregiver so that they could go on being free-spirited, independant men. They would prioritize their career and often their well-being over the well-being of our relationships, but if I dared to be too tired to have sex after working 72 hours one week, suddenly I was cold and uncaring and didn't know how to love. (Two of my 3 exes have told me that line). And, in both, when I asked for an LDR so that my career would benefit, they chose to end the relationship. (Meanwhile, they asked me to sacrifice my career to further theirs). Let's just say I've read the career women thread with great interest - and yet, I'm not ready to prioritize a relationship in my life just yet.
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