lisa85 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 hi all, well basically my ex has walked out on me & our 18month son, hes taken his 8yr old daughter who lived with us. the reason being he said i treat them two both like crap & i admit i did. i regret them leaving so much, im crazy about him, i love him. i dont want to imagine life without him. his daughter doesnt want to come home to me, but im desperate for them both to, i will do anything to make things right, if only he would forgive me & give ma another chance. does anybody know what i can do to make him listen & want to come home? thanks Lisa x
Ronni_W Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Is he willing to tell you what concrete steps/actions he needs you to take, for him and his daughter? I'm guessing it likely will include positive parenting classes and learning to control all the negative attitudes and behaviours that manifested as you treating them both "like crap". An excellent way to do that is through cognitive (talk) therapy. Or, I suppose, you could just start doing those things on your own, and hope that your initiative will help him realize that you are serious about permanently changing everything negative about how you view and treat them. But. You can't MAKE him listen or want to come back. You can only do what you can do, to help him see that you would be offering a positive and loving environment for his daughter and for himself, in the future. And then hope that it is not too late.
Author lisa85 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 thank you, he wont answer any of my calls or texts & the only way i can see him is when he takes his daughter to school, i dont want to seem like a stalker but i just cant let go of him!
Treasa Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 How did you treat them like crap? When did he walk out? Did he give any indications of being unhappy prior to this? If you were treating them like crap, as you say, then he's not going to easily see you changing for the right reasons, nor may he believe that you really will change. He may see it as manipulation. My advice is to find a good therapist and work on your issues. And don't stalk him! Leave him alone for a while.
2sure Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 A single parent and their child are a package. You dont get one without the other. To love one, you must completely accept, embrace, and love the other. In your post you say how much you love him - no mention at all of love for his daughter. Because you have your own child now, the lack of feelings for his daughter may have become more evident. As a parent, this must have broken his heart.
Author lisa85 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 i do love his daughter i just find it hard to show i guess. my ex came to see me later, and even tho he doesnt want to move bk in yet, we are goin to take things very slowly and see how that goes. i feel so much happier because its like hes given me a chance to prove myself xx
spirakusbl Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 You need to sit down and hear out his specific problems that he is having and what he needs for his child to be happy were she is. It seems like you have realized what you have after you lost so you will have to work to get it back but if you love him as much as you say you do this will be worth it for you. so just talk to him about it and from now on make sure you have a good line of communication so he doesnt just bottle his feelings up. if you or anyone else needs more help with relationships you can visit my blog for alot more advice. its in the sig
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