mooninite Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I'm going out with this 26 year old girl I'm dating again tomorrow night. I'm almost 22. Last two times we hung out, she was the one who brought up the topic of sex. I didn't go for it because I'm a virgin, and honestly I was embarassed - she has a lot more experience, while I have zero - so we ended up just making out and spooning. Sounds weird huh, for a guy to turn down the opportunity? She even jokingly asked, while we were spooning, if I was a virgin and then asked me various questions like what my favorite position was, why I wasn't doing her when I was clearly hard, how big I was, and when the last time I slept with another girl was. I was slightly drunk, embarassed, and stupidly lied and said that I was NOT a virgin, and that it'd been about a year or so since I'd had sex... to which she seemed shocked. Which makes me even more embarassed to confess to her that I'm a virgin. Well to tell you the truth, the last time I did *try* to have sex, was my first attempt to put a condom on (and I'm also uncircumsized), so let's just say it didn't work out happening to the end and it was awkward and a one-time thing, so technically I am a virgin. anyways my questions are: 1. How do I go about having sex for the first time? By this I mean physically... I know the positions, but how exactly do I you know, thrust? sway my hips? just straight up and down, or move side to side or circularly? Where do I balance my weight? my arms? etc... the one and only attempt I described before - we did it missionary, but due to it being my first time, being uncircumsized, using a condom for the first time and only time, I don't know what went wrong. I've been a LOT harder jerking off. and what about trying it with her on top? would that be easier for me since she has more experience and she'd be the one doing more of the work? 2. Do I tell her I lied before and that I am a virgin? How would she react considering she is 5 years older than me (she's 26 and I'm 21), and she comes across like a total nymph to my noob virgin ass.
Geishawhelk Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive...." Even if we were a little tipsy.... Why in this day and age is it embarassing for a guy to admit he's a virgin, but commendable if a woman says she is.......... huh..... double standards....... You know what - ? You tell her first off right away that you lied. you are a virgin, but you thought she'd think less of you, so you felt bad admitting that. One of wo things will happen here: She'll laugh you off and find the whole thing hilarious, in which case you say - "Fine, if that's your attitude, go and find a guy who's slept around, because you're not the type of woman I would want to lose my virginity to, if all you can do is laugh and take the piss....." or (and I hope this would be the case) She will be touched and very understanding, feel privileged that she is your first, and then - just straight out, tell her - "I'll be happy to be led by you." Start the relationship honestly. Every time. Their response will tell you if it's going to be worth it, or a fat waste of time.
Vertex Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Honestly, even if she laughs, I don't think that's a bad thing. It IS kind of a funny situation. As long as she doesn't look down upon you for it and is understanding/accepts that you are a virgin, I think it'll all be fine.
Lucky_One Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I would rather that a guy tell me; I suspect that she will be wonderful about it, and very touched, and will be more than willing to take the lead. You do need to let her know, though, as you may cum fairly quickly, and that is pretty understandable for a first time experience. Luckily, when you are 21, you probably can be ready to go again in a very short period of time! You might want to tell her right at the very very beginning, like if you are going out for dinner or before you start kissing, rather than wait until you are in the heat of the moment. Try putting a condom on when you are masturbating by yourself. They AREN'T very easy the first few times, and they can certainly help a man's erection to melt, esp when it is a new partner and you 100% comfortable with them yet. You can also say something like "You are so incredibly sexy that my fingers can't even work" and hand it to her for help, although she may find herself just as fumb-ly as you do. I remember one of the very first times I had sex, and I was trying to help with the condom and I couldn't even tell it if it was inside out or right side out, and we ended up throwing it across the room in frustration and hysteria - do NOT do that!! As for how to move, I think that is just one of the mysterious ways that will be revealed to you when it happens. Everyone is different. And there are so many ways to move just in one love-making session. That part will come naturally, and it will all be just fine at the end. Good luck, and I hope that it is as wonderful as you have always anticipated.
cheezy100 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I'm going out with this 26 year old girl I'm dating again tomorrow night. I'm almost 22. Last two times we hung out, she was the one who brought up the topic of sex. I didn't go for it because I'm a virgin, and honestly I was embarassed - she has a lot more experience, while I have zero - so we ended up just making out and spooning. Sounds weird huh, for a guy to turn down the opportunity? She even jokingly asked, while we were spooning, if I was a virgin and then asked me various questions like what my favorite position was, why I wasn't doing her when I was clearly hard, how big I was, and when the last time I slept with another girl was. I was slightly drunk, embarassed, and stupidly lied and said that I was NOT a virgin, and that it'd been about a year or so since I'd had sex... to which she seemed shocked. Which makes me even more embarassed to confess to her that I'm a virgin. Well to tell you the truth, the last time I did *try* to have sex, was my first attempt to put a condom on (and I'm also uncircumsized), so let's just say it didn't work out happening to the end and it was awkward and a one-time thing, so technically I am a virgin. anyways my questions are: 1. How do I go about having sex for the first time? By this I mean physically... I know the positions, but how exactly do I you know, thrust? sway my hips? just straight up and down, or move side to side or circularly? Where do I balance my weight? my arms? etc... the one and only attempt I described before - we did it missionary, but due to it being my first time, being uncircumsized, using a condom for the first time and only time, I don't know what went wrong. I've been a LOT harder jerking off. and what about trying it with her on top? would that be easier for me since she has more experience and she'd be the one doing more of the work? 2. Do I tell her I lied before and that I am a virgin? How would she react considering she is 5 years older than me (she's 26 and I'm 21), and she comes across like a total nymph to my noob virgin ass. Wow, me and you are the same, just that I'm female. I'm 22 and dating a 26 yr old male, who most likely had the experience. I'm still a V. The only difference is that we stilll haven't had the "intimacy" and discussion about sex yet. We've only been seeing each other for almost 2 months. Not ready yet, and I'm not mentally ready for sex. But I know sooner or later, my bf will ask me about this. If I ever slept with anyone...but if my bf truly knows me, who would just know...cuz i'm a bit too of a "good girl." Honestly, just tell the truth to her. If I was in a similar situation, I would just tell him. There's nothing to hide if you truly like/love each other. No need for embarassment. Just ask her to lead. You'll build up the experience, and you'll be better at sex the 2nd time. Reading doesn't do crap, you got to experience it. That's my motto. I mean, I read about positions too, but I think it will all just fit in when you actually "DO IT." If she wants somebody with experience, then tell her to go look for another guy, cuz it's ain't gonna be you. But i would be honored if I slept with a guy that is "CLEAN and PURE."
malibustacydoll Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 My boyfriend and I were both virgins so it was a learning experience for the both of us. You just get the swing of things as it happens. However, I'm sure if you just tell her then things will be fine. She might be kind of excited about being your first. I get very turned on by the idea of guys waiting for the right girl and being older before they have sex. Some girls get turned on by experience, but others like me would rather have a more innocent boy that we can corrupt. :-D
Kamille Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Tell her. In her shoes I would understand why you were uncomfortable admitting the truth (plus you're only 'technically' a virgin remember?) 1. How do I go about having sex for the first time? By this I mean physically... I know the positions, but how exactly do I you know, thrust? sway my hips? just straight up and down, or move side to side or circularly? Yes. All of the above. Sex is about discovering what feels good for you and your partner. It certainly isn't about being gracious. I'm "experienced", my ex was experienced and we still would run into the occasional position that didn't work for one of us. The trick? Good communication and a great sense of humour!
Lizzie60 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Tell her that you're a virgin.. there's nothing to be ashamed of.. Everybody was a virgin at one point.. If she is experienced as you say.. she will be delighted to 'dépucèle' you. Just sit back and relax.. let her be your sexual guide..
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