Disillusioned Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 After looking at the dating situation here in Los Angeles, I think the problem in this city is that we've forgotten how to be more singles-friendly to each other... we need to re-invent the wheel. Not dealing with dating services and matchmakers, and trying to start a local singles group, is one way to re-invent the wheel. I've read all kinds of ugly postings (thankfully not on this board) from people who are very angry... but I think a lot of the people who abused online dating, are just as much to blame as the people who run those outfits just to make money. Men who go online just looking for sex, and women who post profiles just to see how many guys try to hit on them, have messed it up for the rest of us, the ones who know we'll be old someday and we just want to find the right person to spend the good times with, while we still can. Online dating wouldn't have turned out so bad, if some of us hadn't abused it in the first place by playing head games with each other. That system is now broken beyond repair. That's why I think the current move from online dating to singles groups like the ones on Myspace and Facebook, are our way of re-inventing the wheel. In the old days, more people went to church and knew their neighbors... but then we started spending less time socializing, until we forgot how to socialize. My idea of starting a local singles club is really nothing new, I'm only trying to bring back old-fashioned socialization. Men can help by being respectful, and if they're addicted to sex, try to get help. Women can help by not acting full of themselves (and by giving us men the 3rd degree when we need it). When both sexes stop messing with each other's heads and try to be more honest with each other, there won't be so many bitter, angry singles anymore. The battle of the sexes needs to end in a truce, so it doesn't end in mutually assured destruction.
Konfuzion Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Great post, all except the bashing of people looking for casual sex. Just because that isn't want you want from dating that is their dating reason. And just like you want to date to find someone to grow old with they want to date to have sex, nothing wrong with that and it certainly doesn't make them sex addicts.
Author Disillusioned Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 That's true, and I have a hunch that most men who are sexual braggarts are just that. There are a few who let sex take over their lives, but I think most of my fellow men who brag about how much they have sex, are just doing so because of peer pressure.
You'reasian Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Online dating is not a natural way to meet people because it sets up expectations about the person we are dealing with before we've met them. Isn't it much more fun to meet someone spontaneously, see if there's chemistry and build a connection over time? I think so. If friends or family set you up on a date, atleast they are trying to match you with someone that they think you will make a good couple with, assuming they know you well.
Konfuzion Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 That's true, and I have a hunch that most men who are sexual braggarts are just that. There are a few who let sex take over their lives, but I think most of my fellow men who brag about how much they have sex, are just doing so because of peer pressure. What is it with you and men and sex? I use to in the past date solely for sex and I was very up fount with women about this, it was never an issue if they were not interested in a sexual relationship then they didn't have to go out with me. Now I date with the intention of finding a life partner, and there is nothing wrong with that I just wont be dating women looking strictly for sex. I guess all I am saying is people date for different reasons, I think the key is to be clear with yourself and the person(s) you are dating as to what you are trying to achieve by dating. Maybe more focus should be on people getting freaked out by someone stating that they are looking for a life partner (or sex or whatever) on or before the first date, that way you can date people that are only looking for the same as you.
stillafool Posted October 11, 2008 Posted October 11, 2008 I lived in L.A.and there are tons of social clubs, nightclubs and other places to meet people rather than on line dating. I can't see what the problem would be in meeting and dating people in Los Angeles.
Author Disillusioned Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 I lived in L.A.and there are tons of social clubs, nightclubs and other places to meet people rather than on line dating. I can't see what the problem would be in meeting and dating people in Los Angeles. Care to drop some names on me?
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