unknown815 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 i have posted several time. Me and the father of my child broke up 2 months ago. it was a very messy breakup. he has come and gone from my life for 7 years and once again he claimed he needed some time to himself before having a "future" with me. 2 weeks later he was with a new women and is still seeing her. we have exchanged horrible words over this due to the pain he caused me. I was devastated. I truly loved him. 2 weeks ago i went NC on him. Only time we communicate is about our daughter and that's it. I don't even look at him when he picks her up but we have come a long way and are civil...anyway, i have been feeling great keeping my distance. no emails, calls, texts and so on...recently he has done some things that lead me to think that this is killing him or maybe its in my head. Like he has text me - claiming it was a mistake and yesterday he Unblocked my AOL screen name which has been blocked for 2 months,,,I have this big urge to write him an email or call him. I miss him terribly and want to talk about us. I have so many things i want to express but am scared of the rejection once again. i don't know what to do...I HATE that hes with someone else. It breaks my heart and just want him, myself and daughter to be together...How can i make him see this. Can i do one last email or call? I dont know how serious he is with this women but im hoping shes a rebound. If anyone wants to read like complicated situation more in depth here it is: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t165408/?highlight=unknown815
carhill Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Don't do it. Only do it when you know in your heart it won't hurt
i11 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 You're gonna be never satisfied with his reply. You write that email or make that last call to ask him back, and you know you couldnt make it become true. So why keep bothering yourself about this? Pain will fade only if you are over him. Dont do anything that could possibly hurt yourself plz, for the sake of yourself, and for the sake of your daughter, she needs you as a good mom to be strong enough to take care of her.
Angel1111 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 The whole point you're missing here is that the reason he has concluded ON HIS OWN that it was maybe a mistake to leave you is because YOU HAVE BEEN SILENT AND HAVE NOT INTERFERED IN HIS LIFE. Read that again and take a lesson from it. Learn the art of silence and the huge impact it has on another person. Regardless of your reasons for doing it, silence allows another person to think and come to their own conclusions. And your lack of interference says to them that you trust them enough to know their own minds and to do what is best for them. This is a big deal to every living being - to know that they have the freedom of choice. If you want him to fully come back around, do not chomp at the bait by emailing him just because he has given you the pass key. Ignore it like you didn't even notice it. Let HIM come to YOU and stop thinking that by interjecting yourself into his life, you can somehow make him come to his senses. All you need to know right now is that he is with someone else. So if he comes back, ask him if he has broken up with her. If he says no, tell him not to bother you until he is free.
Author unknown815 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 thanks guys..i woke it and immediatly wanted to email him saying "hey, will you be around later becasue i wanted to talk". I figured before i did that, i would check out if i had any replys on this site. I know, i know i must stay strong. I feel like i am in AA. Thanks again!
Hersheys Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Stick to what you were doing before and that is NC other than important matters that you need to deal with. He's with someone else. You may only find out if you contact him that he just wants to say hi and nothing else. Avoid future disappointments.
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