UnamedSeven Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Ok well i will try to make this as short as possible: Last May, i had gotten heartbroken by a girl that i liked a lot. I asked her twice and got the same answer that i won't forget. A girl who helped me get through this whole situation, i knew her for a while but never was her friend. One night in late may, i felt like i was completely in love with her. I just never saw a side of her, and never knew her for who she really was. Not to mention, but she helped me through something i could not have done alone. So later that night, i sent her a text "implied" that i liked her a lot. Thus, me and her became bf and gf. The next day, we broke up. She didn't feel right, being my gf when she still liked someone who she wouldn't tell me. So, i still hung onto her and she basically got annoyed but never showed it to me. She told me the person she really liked. Which was, my closest and best friend. I was merely devastated by this, but i had a crazy thought grow in my head. I thought that if i got her with my best friend, she would be happy (because she never really was) and i would be happy too. They are still together and can't be any more happier than they are right now. In a few months, they will officially be going out. Over the summer, all 3 of us had problems and i can never go back to how i was because of this. So, i got them together and a day doesn't go by with out me regretting what i did. I'm over her, but the pain still resides inside me. They are still together, and i just don't know if i should be her friend. I feel that i'm being hurt from all of this still. I just can't deal with the pain anymore. Any and all help is welcome.
theconfusedone Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Ok well i will try to make this as short as possible: Last May, i had gotten heartbroken by a girl that i liked a lot. I asked her twice and got the same answer that i won't forget. A girl who helped me get through this whole situation, i knew her for a while but never was her friend. One night in late may, i felt like i was completely in love with her. I just never saw a side of her, and never knew her for who she really was. Not to mention, but she helped me through something i could not have done alone. So later that night, i sent her a text "implied" that i liked her a lot. Thus, me and her became bf and gf. The next day, we broke up. She didn't feel right, being my gf when she still liked someone who she wouldn't tell me. So, i still hung onto her and she basically got annoyed but never showed it to me. She told me the person she really liked. Which was, my closest and best friend. I was merely devastated by this, but i had a crazy thought grow in my head. I thought that if i got her with my best friend, she would be happy (because she never really was) and i would be happy too. They are still together and can't be any more happier than they are right now. In a few months, they will officially be going out. Over the summer, all 3 of us had problems and i can never go back to how i was because of this. So, i got them together and a day doesn't go by with out me regretting what i did. I'm over her, but the pain still resides inside me. They are still together, and i just don't know if i should be her friend. I feel that i'm being hurt from all of this still. I just can't deal with the pain anymore. Any and all help is welcome. Sounds to me that you fell in love with this girl momentarily because she helped you through a tough situation. And it sounds to me like she never meant to be your girlfriend but only realized it a day after that she made a mistake...and she probably liked your best friend for a longer time anyway and was MAYBE looking for a way to get to him through you. I know this sounds harsh but you wont know the truth unless you know her very well or you simply ask her the details so you can properly move on with the answers you are looking for. As for the fact that you got the two of them together, it was a very nice gesture of you as a friend and you meant the best for her as well...the fact is that its making you unhappy but it is too late now and you need to deal with it. The best way to deal with it accepting that she wouldnt have wanted to be with you anyway, and that her and your best friend would have started going out anyway regardless of you setting them up. You say you are over her, but you are clearly not. Once you are over someone, you do not feel any attraction or need for them whatsoever and you could even be their best friend without getting jealous with other guys around her. I went out with a guy once for a month and it didnt work out, but we remain really good friends to this day without even thinking about how we were boyfriend girlfriend once! We even give each other advice on relationships. So yes I think you are NOT over her! The major problem I see here is that the 3 of you are friends but it doesnt seem to be working out the way it is now...you are unhappy which might make them unhappy and make situations awkward and unpleasant. My suggestion is to just deal with the fact that they are together, move on and see other girls because there are so many out there...too many to be wasting your time on this girl that isnt yours anyway! She doesnt deserve so much of your attention because she does not want to be with you. It is harder to do this than to just say it but you need to be confident and forget about her, move on with your fun life, and this way at least you will be able to keep your best friend's friendship. Girlfriends come and go, friends stay forever! Hope I helped!
Author UnamedSeven Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Sounds to me that you fell in love with this girl momentarily because she helped you through a tough situation. And it sounds to me like she never meant to be your girlfriend but only realized it a day after that she made a mistake...and she probably liked your best friend for a longer time anyway and was MAYBE looking for a way to get to him through you. I know this sounds harsh but you wont know the truth unless you know her very well or you simply ask her the details so you can properly move on with the answers you are looking for. As for the fact that you got the two of them together, it was a very nice gesture of you as a friend and you meant the best for her as well...the fact is that its making you unhappy but it is too late now and you need to deal with it. The best way to deal with it accepting that she wouldnt have wanted to be with you anyway, and that her and your best friend would have started going out anyway regardless of you setting them up. You say you are over her, but you are clearly not. Once you are over someone, you do not feel any attraction or need for them whatsoever and you could even be their best friend without getting jealous with other guys around her. I went out with a guy once for a month and it didnt work out, but we remain really good friends to this day without even thinking about how we were boyfriend girlfriend once! We even give each other advice on relationships. So yes I think you are NOT over her! The major problem I see here is that the 3 of you are friends but it doesnt seem to be working out the way it is now...you are unhappy which might make them unhappy and make situations awkward and unpleasant. My suggestion is to just deal with the fact that they are together, move on and see other girls because there are so many out there...too many to be wasting your time on this girl that isnt yours anyway! She doesnt deserve so much of your attention because she does not want to be with you. It is harder to do this than to just say it but you need to be confident and forget about her, move on with your fun life, and this way at least you will be able to keep your best friend's friendship. Girlfriends come and go, friends stay forever! Hope I helped! Yes you did. Things are just really tough, though. the girl i used to like back before any of this happened, when this new school year started, she got put into the same first period as me. Its just completely awkward and annoying because i haven't talked to her since June. I just never wanted to see her again. Basically, i was pretty dumb and never ever felt this way about any girl except her. She has been in the same school as me for 4 years and never seen her until last year. So, we talked and everything was good until February. I made the mistake of asking her to this school dance and she just gave me the answer, "I'm just going with my friends". It wasn't something that you would take somebody to, but i was stupid and just asked anyway. I tried going no contact several times, but to me, she seemed perfect. I tried to get everything back to normal with our usual conversations. On May 8th, my best and closest friend, took me in an arm lock, after school, and took me to that same girl because i told him how i was going to ask her to the dance later on in the month that you were supposed to bring someone to. Anyway, he took me all around school to find her, out of nowhere, the girl that helped me through the situation (which is also the girl i started to like and is the same girl who is with my best friend), grabbed my other arm and they managed to find and bring me to her. My closest friend said, "Oh hey there. Danny (me) has something to tell you" and they just ran. Leaving me with that girl. I thought that i had to tell her now because i wasn't able to get out of this. So, i asked her. She gave me the exact same answer and we both walked away. I ran out of the school, past the girl that helped me through everything, and just ran home trying to hold back the tears in my eyes. A few weeks afterward, everything that i said before, took place. *Sigh* i hated that whole school year. I hung onto the wrong person, and like you said, momentarily fell in love with the other girl. And what really sucks the most is that i still have feelings for the girl that turned me down. I'm just trying to learn past all of this so that i'm able to have a relationship with this girl that may like me back and just moved here. I just can't tell for sure anymore about anything
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