rayray8800 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Hi had two spectacular dates with a woman who has the whole package: looks, smarts, class, and a very endearing sense of humor. We both acknowledged as much about one another, and we made out during the first date and took things a bit further on the second. But then yesterday, she called and said that she wanted to think of me more as a friend. I asked her if she was into me sexually, and she said yes, but that her head and heart were in different places, and she didn't want to proceed until things felt right. So I told her I'd give her some space and that I was here for her, and really into her. She said she'd get back with me. What's your reaction?
DeePee Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I think you did well on pulling back, but letting your intentions be known. Her loss.
Mary3 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Seems like she pulled a Reverse FWB. The sex is good for her but you need to go home after awhile... Doesn't sound like a relationship from this...
NewKid99 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 but that her head and heart were in different places She dont know what she wants - so where does that leave you? How old are you guys? Leave her alone. Period. No sex unless you know for sure you wont get emotionally attached to her, which it seems like you will be. Expect her to call ya. Just wait it out.
Bells Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Hi had two spectacular dates with a woman who has the whole package: looks, smarts, class, and a very endearing sense of humor. We both acknowledged as much about one another, and we made out during the first date and took things a bit further on the second. But then yesterday, she called and said that she wanted to think of me more as a friend. I asked her if she was into me sexually, and she said yes, but that her head and heart were in different places, and she didn't want to proceed until things felt right. So I told her I'd give her some space and that I was here for her, and really into her. She said she'd get back with me. What's your reaction? Just keep it low key....at least she has a thing for you sexually...that's a plus....just say "Hey, that's okay...." then ask her out again...but keep it casual...no pressure.
D-Jam Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 What's your reaction? Either she met some guy she's even more into and wants to keep you as a backup plan, or she's not over some other guy and worries you'll hurt her...or take her away from her career and other bigger priorities in her life. My advice, stay in contact if you want, but if you really want to date this woman, then keep everything on a dating level. If she keeps trying to push it to "friends only" aka friendzone, then politely tell her you're not interested in "just friends" and walk. Yes it sounds cold, but I think men need to start rejecting the friendzone and not waste time with women who put them in it. Let them know it's either dating or nothing with you. Many women will say "I don't need him", but I'll bet the day when she comes home from a date with some loser she doesn't like, or is sitting at a wedding reception alone or with a relative, seeing her gal pals marrying off...she'll be rethinking if she should have tossed away a good thing.
Yamaha Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 My advice, stay in contact if you want, but if you really want to date this woman, then keep everything on a dating level. If she keeps trying to push it to "friends only" aka friendzone, then politely tell her you're not interested in "just friends" and walk. Yes it sounds cold, but I think men need to start rejecting the friendzone and not waste time with women who put them in it. Let them know it's either dating or nothing with you. Totally agree. If she decides she wants you as just a friend and you still see her in a romantic way then it is not beneficial to you to hang around as a friend when you don't have "just friends" feelings. Guys need to quit accepting friendship when they want more and quit hoping she'll change her mind. Once she decides your a friend ( if you started out dating ) she has lost interest in you for some reason and you need to move on.
Author rayray8800 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Yup, it turns out she just got out of a six-year relationship this past summer. So, it could very well be she doesn't want to be hurt again, and/or just wants to have more space before jumping into another relationship. I don't think either of us were expecting the connection we made. I went on the date thinking it would be a friendly dinner, because just prior to this I had met another woman who I felt was a good match. But after the dinner we had, sparks flew, and before I knew it, we were in each other's arms. So, maybe it was something too fast too good too soon. But I really want to give this another go, romantically speaking...
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 I wouldn't do anything as 'just friends'. Tell her that you are more than happy to date her and that you will take it as slow as she needs, but that you don't do 'just friends' with someone you are interested in dating.
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