45Reverse Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Believe it or not, simply being a biological parent doesn't make some people a good parenting choice. Some children are better off without some "parents". Spend some time in divorce court and watch how many women force their children's father's out of their lives and then get back to me. You may not like being caught up in the backlash created by the work of unscrupulous women who do such things but MANY, MANY, MANY woman in this world have cheated on their husbands...Then took the kids and most of his money in divorce court. America's Family Court system is the most biased and baseless court system in the world. Men are nothing more than bank accounts and moms are automatically the person who "gets the kids"....what bull$#it. Don't believe me? Go here and start reading: [COLOR=#0000ff]http://www.dadsdivorce.com/[/COLOR] Maybe your situation is different. In most cases it isn't though. In most cases the mom takes the kids and the dad gets to see his his children 4 days a month and pays thousdands to the ex-bitch for the priveledge.
45Reverse Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 45Reverse: Nothing posted on this website, by anyone, can possibly give anyone - yourself included, a whole and complete picture of anyones circumstances or intent - let alone ..."says a lot about the kind of person that you are"... In my response, I stated for "reasons of my own" and did not give them or detail them. Simply stated that I had them and I did not share them. My daughter will forever be profoundly affected by the actions of her father and for red tape legal reasons I am helpless to protect her. She is young and does not yet realize her fathers actions and behavior are his by choice, she is too young to know she is a victim. You assumed and thats your perogative. Speaks volumes. I "assumed" the most common occurance in family court...That's not much of an 'assumption' at all. It's a call based on experiance and statistics. If you chose to not share details then you also chose to have people who don't know your whole story apply the filter of "the most common outcome". Again, go here if you don't believe me. http://www.dadsdivorce.com/ If your situation is different then so be it...Keep in mind though. Damn near *every woman* in divorce court who seeks to force their children's fathers out of their lives gives the same tired and lame argument...Please forgive the guys who listen to it and cry "bull$#it!!!". There are so many great fathers who have been shut out of their kids live for no other reason than the woman knew she take advantage of the bias in family courts. ok...done thread jacking now.
2sure Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Hey Reggie - So. Ahem. Offerring support here. My point is that, your kids, who are your main priority and cause for concern : You can lose everything, and maybe you have - but you will not lose them. If you love them, and you do, you will never lose them. That alone is a great motivator. Sounds like you are putting your ducks back in order - and that soon you will have your home which you will also make theirs when you have them. Im not making light of the changes in any way - this is all too much for some people to put back together - but it sounds like you can and are. Our most important job is our kids - and whether you are their full time care taker or not, and regrdless of your circumstances, your kids will look up to you and love you.
Author Reggie Posted October 10, 2008 Author Posted October 10, 2008 Thanks. Yes, the kids and getting my finances back in order are my main focus. As regards the finances, fot the first time in 10 years, I know what is being spent. No more checks bouncing because my XW failed to record withdrawals, checks written and debit card purchases. No more of her outfitting herself to the 9's with 50-60 bikinis, 100's of pairs of shoes, and an arrray of tops and pants that were unfathomable for anyone, let alone a stay at home mom. So, I am rebuilding my credit which had been perfect before involvement with this nut. Also, she is beginning to feel the effects of everyone knowing about her multiple affairs. Even the kids know and they hated the OM. His inability to win over the kids, plus his exclusion from any involvement with any memebers of my XW's family put so much pressure on the relationship, it cracked(that and the fact that as a BPD/NPD my XW's relationships always founder. Guy got a taste of what I'd dealt with for years, I expect.) I think my kids will want to be with me when they hit the teen years. We'll see. Most of the literature and expert opinions on BPD parents says that once the kids are teens and start butting heads, the BPD can't handle it. On my more lucid days(which are becoming more and more frequent) it is clear to me that the discovery of the affairs saved my life. I think I would have stayed in this abusive relationship indefinitely but for the cheating. So, I thank God, she cheated.
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