katalyst Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Hey guys & girls first time poster Im from Australia, im mid 20's and I have a huge problem, I moved to aus start of last year from New Zealand and fell in love with someone over here. now 18 months later we have been living together for around a year. The problem #1 is Im just not attracted to her anymore she has put on alot of weight ( I know this kind of thing is said on talkshows and is deemed to be really horrible !!! ) she has gone and purchaced exercise equipment sports gear and I even went out and got some mountain bikes so we could do it together and the the lazyness got stuck in and nothing happened. I still really love her and she is one of the nicest people I know, we dont have sex anymore that really makes her angry and we fight about it alot but I am just not attracted anymore but I cant bring myself to say this to her. like I said we are living together and it will cost me all my small savings just to move out as I have no family in the country I can stay with. ------------------------------------------ Problem number 2 I work for a large multi nation company and I recently met someone I have a huge crush on problem is she has a boyfriend, now I have never cheated and dont plan to start cheating now. We work at totally different offices in our city and dont see alot of each other during work but we have alot of staff functions, the most recent she got a bit tipsey and looked at me and said " I want someoen I really like to take me home " So I did the right thing and dropped her off home there has been bits of flirting and what not but nothing serious. In a couple of weeks time our work is shouting us a weekend away for our group about 8-10 of us and she has asked me to drive her up there (its a few hours away) what im worried about is its free booze for the whole weekend and I know she likes her cab sav wine I dont know if I should tell her I have a crush on her or just leave it ... any advice ?
hollyhohnson Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Do you think you'd be attracted to her again if she did lose weight? I think it's the red blooded male in men that's making you think what your thinking!! Your obviously not happy in your relationship, due to weight or not or you wouldn't be even looking at someone else?
Author katalyst Posted October 8, 2008 Author Posted October 8, 2008 yeah not that happy at the moment, we fight every day over stupid things and I think we are only together at the moment for convenience of money related things
Geishawhelk Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Then have the decency, honesty, integrity and respect to tell her that. if thr weight issue is too tactless for words (and I agree, it is) you should at least make a clean breast of things about other matters and stop prevaricating. Set aside an evening to talk, and do it nicely. Then, once this is over, lid on, put to bed - we can talk about the other matter. Which is a no-no and you should walk away from, by the way.
Author katalyst Posted October 8, 2008 Author Posted October 8, 2008 Then have the decency, honesty, integrity and respect to tell her that. if thr weight issue is too tactless for words (and I agree, it is) you should at least make a clean breast of things about other matters and stop prevaricating. Set aside an evening to talk, and do it nicely. Then, once this is over, lid on, put to bed - we can talk about the other matter. Which is a no-no and you should walk away from, by the way. Yes I feel so guilty about the weight thing, I dont know why I just feel guilty about saying it and guilty for not saying it .. its not like just 5 kilos its more like 35 kilos I guess there is no good way to approach a break up hrmm
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