kizik Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Hi, I've never posted on this particular thread, but here's my deal. I am 24 years old. I've just transferred to, and begun classes at, a state school in a big city. The average student age is 30. I've moved into the dorms in hopes of meeting people. The decision to move into the dorms at such a late college-age was based upon the counseling I had received from the school's advisors, who essentially told me, "The average student age is 30. Trust us, you will not be out of place here." Well, of course everyone here is either 18-20, or non-English-speaking international students, who are, granted, close to my age. While I've made a few friends, they're all 20-21, and I simply feel like the old-man-loser. I plan to move after this term (3 months from now), but how can I reconcile the situation and simply be happy in the interim? I am in an awesome city in the heart of downtown. I am in great classes with people my age. The CLASSES are not what make me feel old; the dorm is. Thoughts? Advice? Please be gentle - I'm already upset. I know this area of LS does not get a lot of traffic; I will check back in a couple of days. If ANYONE has written by then, I will be grateful. Thanks, -kizik
Green Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 seriously when you moved into a dorm no matter what any one told you... well you should have known mostly young people live in dorms... and if you made friends with 20-21 year olds that should be fine 24 isn't that old at all man I say lighten up. I'd wrather be hanging out in a social circle of 20 year olds then 30 year olds
Nemo Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 seriously when you moved into a dorm no matter what any one told you... well you should have known mostly young people live in dorms... and if you made friends with 20-21 year olds that should be fine 24 isn't that old at all man I say lighten up. I'd wrather be hanging out in a social circle of 20 year olds then 30 year olds Great advice, as usual.
Author kizik Posted October 8, 2008 Author Posted October 8, 2008 lighten up. Thank you, pretty much what I need to hear right now... you know, "lighten up," "shut up," "stop whining." And I swear I'm not being sarcastic, I need a f*cking as$-kicking. Nemo... I'm sorry I was mean the other day. You got under my skin; perhaps now you know why. BTW when I said I'd check back in a couple of days, as opposed to minutes... what BS.
Green Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Thank you, pretty much what I need to hear right now... you know, "lighten up," "shut up," "stop whining." And I swear I'm not being sarcastic, I need a f*cking as$-kicking. Nemo... I'm sorry I was mean the other day. You got under my skin; perhaps now you know why. BTW when I said I'd check back in a couple of days, as opposed to minutes... what BS. You need an ass kicking? thats the opososite of lighten up. I meant to enjoy things. Sounds like a good time to me. You enjoy the city and you'll be out of the dorms very soon.
Lauriebell82 Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Thank you, pretty much what I need to hear right now... you know, "lighten up," "shut up," "stop whining." And I swear I'm not being sarcastic, I need a f*cking as$-kicking. Nemo... I'm sorry I was mean the other day. You got under my skin; perhaps now you know why. BTW when I said I'd check back in a couple of days, as opposed to minutes... what BS. I lived in the dorms my first semester in grad school. (I was 23).It was an upperclassman dorm, so most of the people were my age, but there were a lot of younger people. It IS lot different living in the dorms when you aren't a young little freshman. The question is, are you open to meeting young people in your dorm? They may be open to hanging out with you! I'd watch out though for the ones that are younger than 21..they will want you to buy them alcohol BELIEVE ME!!! Anyway, go knock on doors! I used to leave my door open and "passers-by" could just peak their head in. Find something you would need to borrow from someone and use that as an ice breaker to meet them! Are there pool tables in the lobby of your dorm? Or a lounge? That is always a good way of striking up convos with others.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Hi, I've never posted on this particular thread, but here's my deal. I am 24 years old. I've just transferred to, and begun classes at, a state school in a big city. The average student age is 30. I've moved into the dorms in hopes of meeting people. The decision to move into the dorms at such a late college-age was based upon the counseling I had received from the school's advisors, who essentially told me, "The average student age is 30. Trust us, you will not be out of place here." Well, of course everyone here is either 18-20, or non-English-speaking international students, who are, granted, close to my age. While I've made a few friends, they're all 20-21, and I simply feel like the old-man-loser. I plan to move after this term (3 months from now), but how can I reconcile the situation and simply be happy in the interim? I am in an awesome city in the heart of downtown. I am in great classes with people my age. The CLASSES are not what make me feel old; the dorm is. Thoughts? Advice? Please be gentle - I'm already upset. I know this area of LS does not get a lot of traffic; I will check back in a couple of days. If ANYONE has written by then, I will be grateful. Thanks, -kizik Dude your 24, not an old man loser. Women are typically more mature than men....so a 21 year old girl could be your speed. Your carrying around bruce springsteen A-tracks and quoting movies from 1975.........your 24. You'll be fine, man. Worse comes to worse, get an apt off campus.
RogueAC Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Hi, plan to move after this term (3 months from now), but how can I reconcile the situation and simply be happy in the interim? -kizik Hey Kizik, I have a few thoughts... Transferring schools can be really rough. I did it after 2+ years. How many sem/years do you have left at school? Just wondering how settled the college friend groups are. If you are just living at the dorm for 3 months try thinking about it as just a place to sleep/shower/store stuff. I know that is not an ideal living situation but it will probably help you get through until Jan. If you don't need to be in your room or the lab to study take the books somewhere else -- the library, a coffee shop, the union, a bar (I always had fun with this), basically wherever the people are you want to be around. I got my studying done and met new people every day. Talk to and befriend the folks in your classes. I have ideas for this if you need them... Also, explore the new city. If you are in the "heart of downtown" there is probably lots to do that isn't related to your studies. And trust me, you are not an "old man loser" and a lot of people (me included!) have been stuck in living situations that are less than great. Remember that it is only temporary.
quankanne Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 kiz, just try to look at it as an adventure. Yeah, they're younger than you, but then again, you might become the person they look up to because of your life experience. You could be molding (or warping, given your choice, LOL) those minds ... besides, it's not forever, and think of it as a learning experience. I wonder if the advisor you spoke with figured that it might be easier for you to connect with people close in age by living among them, rather than the much older students who are probably commuters or homeowners who aren't as involved in campus life? That's what my one semester on campus did, and though I felt I paid too much for that experience, it helped me get my bearings at a new school that I transfered to.
Adamagnet Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Thirsty Thursday at the tortoise has $1 micro brews! You could make some friends there or wind up duct tapped to the goal post the next morning... By the way, I hate all you for coming back into session and making traffic suck again.
Author kizik Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 To all those who have responded: You have no idea how much I appreciate your words of encouragement. LoveShack can be such a wonderful place - people helping people with no expectations for anything in return. I daresay, it helps to restore my faith in humanity. Lauriebell- yes, I am open to meeting/hanging out with people younger than me, though I admit to having been/being negative and cynical about the prospect. Then I just think about the older friends that I have, and how glad I am to have them there. Which relates to something quakanne said. Q- you raise a very valid point about me possibly being a person the younger ones can "look up to". I truly do want to be a role model to people, and I think I can do so if I act maturely, which is my nature. Thank you for your words. Rogue- I have two years left. I do plan on moving after this quarter. I have been thinking all day at work about your suggestion to think of my dorm as simply a place to sleep and store things. I will certainly take advantage of local locales to study; but on days like today (tired, worked all day) it is a pleasure to just hang out at "home." In regards to what you said about ideal living situations - yes, I too have lived in less-than-optimal places (sh*t, I've f*cking been in JAIL), so this should be no sweat, right? Adamagnet- if you're in Portland, we should meet sometime! Sorry for f*cking up your daily commute. Thanks again, all. Josh PS. Thank you Sysyphus for not allowing me to call myself an old man loser!!!
Green Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 hey and thank you for going mental when I tried to encourage you and saying 24 wasn't that old
Author kizik Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 I didn't go mental, I thanked you actually, via PM, were you conscious last night or in a blackout? Here it is again though: Thank you KMT. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Green Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I didn't go mental, I thanked you actually, via PM, were you conscious last night or in a blackout? Here it is again though: Thank you KMT. Thank you, thank you, thank you. haha touchee you got me. yes I did forget. ha ha! just for that I'll give you one extra piece of advice watch the following movies... Old School, Van Wilder & to top it off Step Brothers...
Jilly Bean Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Josh, it sounds like you have your exit plan in place, so thats taken care of. When I was living in a dorm, there was an older guy, a Vietnam Vet, who lived in dorms. He was OLD. But, he hung out with us, partied with us, and it was just fine. I think you have a few choices: 1 - go into your second adolescence, and act like you're 20. 2 - be the wise, sage, older guy who gives out dating, love and life advice to the kids. 3 - find more age appropriate friends (like your classmates) and spend little time in the dorm except for sleep. Are you in Boston?
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 they're all 20-21, and I simply feel like the old-man-loser. I think you have a chip on your shoulder. What's the difference between 24 and 21? Or 24 and 11? You said you have three months left there. And you don't know how to endure that period with the immature 21-year olds?
Green Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I think you have a chip on your shoulder. What's the difference between 24 and 21? Or 24 and 11? You said you have three months left there. And you don't know how to endure that period with the immature 21-year olds? lay off the guy because I told you too thats why
Author kizik Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 I think you have a chip on your shoulder. What's the difference between 24 and 21? You're right about the chip. I'm not sure there is a huge difference between 24 and 21 - I think maybe I'm too f*cking intelligent for my own good. Blame the ex-girlfriend for trying to grow me up, too, and much of it sticking. KMT, thanks for coming to my defenses. It's OK though. I am a big boy. Jilly Bean, I like your options. I like your breakdown. I like the cut of your jib. No, I am in Portland, OR, or else I would meet and have sex with you.
Green Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 No, I am in Portland, OR, or else I would meet and have sex with you. pure awsomeness in that response go have sex with one of those dorm girls... break the rules and bring a girl to your room and then break some more rules and stick it
quankanne Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 portland? dude I've got a cousin up there you can look up, he's an acupuncturist. And a Chinese medicine doctor. And curandero. But what the hey, he's actually fun for a relative I truly do want to be a role model to people, and I think I can do so if I act maturely, which is my nature. LOL ... the whole reason behind that suggestion is that my nephew is the "old man" of his unit, a 25 yoa with a bunch of 20 & under soldiers. They like to tell him he's the wise one because he rides their butts when it comes to responsible drinking and carding girls so they don't end up with an underage honey during their leaves!!!
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I think maybe I'm too f*cking intelligent for my own good. I don't think it's necessary intelligence. I read a "theory" on ages of souls; you can be mature at a very young age and childish at an older age. I have to find it, it's really interesting. I always feel like the men of my age are too young, but I don't have thta feeling about the women. I am surprised you're seen as too old by the girls who are only a few years younger than you are. I think you're taking their jokes as a form of discrimination. When I was 20, I felt that 24-year olds were mature, but I wanted to be like them. I think it's you who feels that they are NOT mture enough for you.
Author kizik Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Q- sure, I would like to meet him. RP- No, it's not necessarily my intelligence that makes me feel isolated (and I hope I didn't come off like a d*ck). I didn't say I'm seen as too old by the girls; as a matter of fact I get the feeling that some of them, fed up with the douche-iness of their peers, wouldn't mind the welcome change of an older guy. It's the GUYS that make me feel weird being here, if only b/c I'm paranoid, but also b/c they have no idea what it's like to be in this scenario as an older DUDE. But I know what it's like to be 20, and I've come a looong way from that. Since this breakup, I feel like I've aged 10 years. You're right though, very few of these people here are mature enough for me, and I constantly feel like I am dumbing myself down. F*ck it though, who cares, I have an awesome job and am a decent songwriter. I now allow the masses to feel free to try to cut me down. There was this guy on here who HATED it when anyone built themselves up, so he attempted to tear them down.
Mahatma Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Yeah, your average student age may be 30, but those people do not live in dorms. You will find mostly students from 18-19 in dorms because it is usually required or suggested that freshman live in dorms. I wish there was more mature people at my dorm. Dorms have to be one of the most immature places on earth. I would suggest you just focus on your schooling. Maybe even get a job for the weekends if you find yourself bored. Or transfer to my school and replace my messy-as-heck roommate!
Author kizik Posted December 13, 2008 Author Posted December 13, 2008 Update: moving out of the dorms today. Very excited! Moving in here was a BAAAD idea and I do not suggest anyone over the age of, say, 21 live in the dorms. You simply are not around like-minded people there.
Green Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Update: moving out of the dorms today. Very excited! Moving in here was a BAAAD idea and I do not suggest anyone over the age of, say, 21 live in the dorms. You simply are not around like-minded people there. so the Dorms arn't the ideal location to raise a family?
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