LakesideDream Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 Well Sysyphus28, I agree with you that I will never forget, but as for my brother, well he is dead to me, and will stay that way forever. And you are right also about my anger, if it were not for the love I have for my children, my anger would have taken control of all of my senses and I would have been needing to contact another type of lawyer. Your also right that fantasy is human nature, and talk is cheap. Thanks, and I will try and be strong. Assuming this is all genuine. It's hard to know where to begin. First, you are a much more stabil guy than I am, and most think I pretty controlled and patient. If my brother had betrayed me like that, he would have assumed room tempeture that first day. kids or not. As for having no love for your wife, I understand your feelings exactly. When I found out my ex was welcoming the attentions of another man I lost all romantic feelings, instantly. Tread carefully. The anger you are containing must be huge. Good Luck and Gods speed.
Al_Bundy Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 I have a different take on this, so I'm just throwing this out for food for thought. Your initial response of hurt and anger is understandible, and I commend you for holding it in. I don't know how well I would have reacted. Let me ask you this, do you think your initial decision of kicking her to the curb and wanting a divorce was a bit hasty? Yes she betrayed you and your trust, and lied to you about the extent and with whom this was occuring, but infidelity is deception at it's core. I don't know you and your wife, but minus this huge lie, how truthful and trustworthy was she prior to this? Does it really matter? I think one fact alone changes everything. She did this with HIS OWN BROTHER. So lets say he decides to stay with her. Oh baby, that will be great times at family functions with all 3 of them there.
pelicanpreacher Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 I don't want to jump on the moral bandwagon here but there are reasons that the Catholic church defines the difference between Venial and Mortal Sin. This case falls under the category of Mortal Sin for this level of betrayal can kill a soul and I too believe that the relationship your wife had with your brother went a lot farther than just emails. You must forgive your wife for this will be the only way to achieve the grace of your own healing. Remember though that forgiveness only releases the forgiver from the heavy burden of another's betrayal. It won't erase the hurtful memories but it will lessen your pain enough to restore your spirit and allow you to live again. The forgiven, however, are still held accountable for their actions and must openly repent, as well as atone for their misdeeds through solemn acts of attrition if they ever want to heal their guilt. Lastly, forgiveness can be granted in the face of a Mortal sin up until the moment of death for even if your wife picked up a dagger and plunged it into your heart you could still forgive her while life resides in your body. It wouldn't change the fact that the act ended the marriage for the ensuing death, be it physical or spiritual, will always end the relationship one way or another so seek your divorce with God Speed. On a final note, as to whether your wife appeared honest and trustworthy throughout your marriage, save this incident of infidelity, tarry not on false memories for they cannot console you. Every instance you recall of your wife running errands, visiting family or friends, staying late at work, or going out for the evening with her friends and co-workers without you will only haunt your persective and intensify your pain and mistrust. Take my advice and forgive her, let her go, and get on with the rest of your life!
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