bubblegum Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I've been reading and reading on here so much and it's brought a question to my mind. How many of you were in a relationship and after some time got back with your ex as FWB? If so, why did you do it? Please share positive and negative experiences or any experiences at all!!!
northstar1 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I've been reading and reading on here so much and it's brought a question to my mind. How many of you were in a relationship and after some time got back with your ex as FWB? If so, why did you do it? Please share positive and negative experiences or any experiences at all!!! Does either person still have feelings and want more? If so, it's gonna cause pain for at least one person, especially if the other person eventually gets into a relationship.
Lizzie60 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I've been reading and reading on here so much and it's brought a question to my mind. How many of you were in a relationship and after some time got back with your ex as FWB? If so, why did you do it? Please share positive and negative experiences or any experiences at all!!! I've been back with my last ex but only after about 2 years (I think) after I left.. he called me and wanted to see me.. about a year after our split.. I said no at first cause I still had feelings for him and was scared it would hurt me.. then, when I was pretty sure it was over.. we went for a coffee.. then I knew I was totally over him.. we end up having sex on a regular basis.. we still see each other from time to time.. He's married now and is happy so we don't see each other as often.. We are 'best friends' now. I have had sex with old bf that came back in the picture... no big deal... I only have 'friends'...
Crestfallen_KH Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 If you can't completely detach yourself and view sex only as a physical act of pleasure, then it's a huge mistake. I fell into a relationship shortly after my divorce. It was meant to just be a FWB for both of us, but it turned into an actual relationship. When that combusted, we tried to 'go back' to FWB, with disastrous results. Part of the problem was that neither of us were over our exes and we both chose to ignore that we were incompatible. It was a combination rebound/FWB/romantic relationship that ended with both of us getting hurt. Even if we hadn't had all of the other drama present, we wouldn't have made it as FWBs. There are so many rules that have to be clearly defined and most humans are emotional beings, particularly if you have had a relationship with the potential partner recently. If the rules aren't defined and agreed-upon and the expectations the exact same for both parties (good luck with THAT one, in particular) and also clearly defined, you can't be successful in a FWB. It's just a mess, and I won't do it again.
sultry33 Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I've been reading and reading on here so much and it's brought a question to my mind. How many of you were in a relationship and after some time got back with your ex as FWB? If so, why did you do it? Please share positive and negative experiences or any experiences at all!!! After we split after about a month we did the meeting to catch up .. really was fwb but he said it wasnt like that. Nc and arguments inbetween.. til month or so ago when we met last, i then found out a week later he is with someone else:sick: The sex was good but why spill all the heartfelt words and hope of us being together again when things settled? that hurt alot. As soon as i found out i said i wont do this anymore... my advice is dont go there, if you ever loved that person never go there as it leads to false hope when all you are really is a stepping stone whilst they get it on or move on with someone else. Weird thing is it actually didnt hurt to see him with someone.. just hurt that the words he said was bull. Helped me to get over him too
lofi_tokyo Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 As mentioned already by others, FWB can only really work if you don't have any emotional dependency or attachment to the person you're sleeping with. For example, I have an ex from about 3.5 yrs back, that I am 100% over, and the feeling is mutual. We definately would not want to be in a "relationship" with eachother, because we know we're just not compatible in that way. However, when it comes to being friends with benefits, that is a possibility, because we both love our sex, and are not looking for anything. I think its only in situations like that where FWB works... but even then, would I get jealous if he found a girl he thought was a keeper? Probably a little bit... because I'd wouldn't be able to fool around with him anymore. I don't know if I'd even want that kind of jealousy!
Narf Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I've been reading and reading on here so much and it's brought a question to my mind. How many of you were in a relationship and after some time got back with your ex as FWB? If so, why did you do it? Please share positive and negative experiences or any experiences at all!!! I dated him for about 4 months.. He dumped me... about a week or 2 later we became FWB... It started out well... He wasnt ready for a serious relationship and neither was i.. but we did get along great and we would txt alot and talk alot and even hang out at the beach and stuff... Then i started wanting a b/f... Not him (cause i know he didnt want a relationship) but just someone to feel secure with... Someone that was mine and i was his... After i told him i was looking he dumped me again... That is what it felt like but even worse because he wasnt there for me emotionally .. He had no pressure he could do what he wanted when he wanted he went out with his mates all the time, it felt i was second to him.. If there was nothing better to do then he would be with me... I fooled myself thinking it was good for both of us cause i could move on i could meet other people go out flirt and have fun with my friends... but the longer it lasted the more i just wanted him but he did want me... If you are happy to hear... "Im going to (insert his mates name that you know) birthday party. *silence*" You start thinking *hmm why cant i go to that? We got along well it will be fun* so you get up the courage to mention you arent doing anything and he changes the subject and you feel hurt rejected frustrated cause it is just a party all his other mates and girls will be going... It isnt anything serious... but your not invited cause you arent his g/f any more... It is hard...
Author bubblegum Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Thoughtful feedback so far, especially Narf, it's particularly real and visual, I can see it and feel it happening.
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