Al_Bundy Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 If I were you I would speak to your lawyer to find out what age the courts in your state would allow a minor to make the decision of who they'd prefer to live with or be fully emancipated. Its twelve years old. My oldest is 8. My apologies for the t/j. Yes, me as well. Now back to the regularly scheduled thread.
n9688m Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 What I want, and what is best for the kids is of no concern to socialist Illinois courts/judges. All of your answers are picture-perfect for you to be awarded equally shared custody. Why are you so fatalistic about this? I think a lot of the cases you read about where dads lose kids are those where the dads in truth do have some sort of history of violence or drugs or cannot/will not put their kids ahead of their work schedule or perhaps the dads cannot/will not put their kids ahead of their new romantic life or do not want to expend the legal energy/effort to win equal custody. If none of those are the case then of course you can prevail. PM me for some more personal details in my case if you are interested. When not with me I worry.I agree with everything you wrote - except this. You need to focus on why you are a good parent, not why your ex is a bad parent.
TrustInYourself Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 It's impossible for him because he's too busy playing the victim. Too busy being angry. Too busy worrying about her being a bad parent and betraying the marriage. Change these factors and you can start living life for yourself, Al.
TrustInYourself Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 All of your answers are picture-perfect for you to be awarded equally shared custody. Why are you so fatalistic about this? I think a lot of the cases you read about where dads lose kids are those where the dads in truth do have some sort of history of violence or drugs or cannot/will not put their kids ahead of their work schedule or perhaps the dads cannot/will not put their kids ahead of their new romantic life or do not want to expend the legal energy/effort to win equal custody. If none of those are the case then of course you can prevail. PM me for some more personal details in my case if you are interested. I agree with everything you wrote - except this. You need to focus on why you are a good parent, not why your ex is a bad parent. I like this side of you, n.
n9688m Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 I like this side of you, n. Well I think previously I wasn't truly through the stages of grief and "over" her. When things shifted to full-blown custody litigation, I got over her pretty darn quick and moved on with my life. My kids need me. I can replace my wife- I can't replace my kids.
Al_Bundy Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 All of your answers are picture-perfect for you to be awarded equally shared custody. Why are you so fatalistic about this? Because my lawyer knows the law in Illinois. She is the woman. Unless she can be declared unfit, she calls the shots. I can spend 3 years in court, 20 grand later and still won't be awarded equal custody. I've been through it. My lawyer advises me to wait for her to "#$%# up" an then contact him for custody. I think a lot of the cases you read about where dads lose kids are those where the dads in truth do have some sort of history of violence or drugs or cannot/will not put their kids ahead of their work schedule or perhaps the dads cannot/will not put their kids ahead of their new romantic life or do not want to expend the legal energy/effort to win equal custody. If none of those are the case then of course you can prevail. I didn't "lose" the kids, she can just call the shots as far as whether its shared custody or not. She knows that if we have equal time, she won't get child support. She wants the money, so she won't agree to it and there isn't a judge that will make her offer me that.
Al_Bundy Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 It's impossible for him because he's too busy playing the victim. Too busy being angry. Too busy worrying about her being a bad parent and betraying the marriage. Change these factors and you can start living life for yourself, Al. Uh, no. It won't happen because a lawyer and judge told me it aint gonna happen.
TrustInYourself Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Uh, no. It won't happen because a lawyer and judge told me it aint gonna happen. What can't happen? Living your life?
n9688m Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Uh, no. It won't happen because a lawyer and judge told me it aint gonna happen. A judge told you there is no way a father would have a chance at equal custody? Can you elaborate more? Is there some other extenuating factor here? Surely in Illinois fathers do not lose 100% of the time.
Al_Bundy Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 What can't happen? Living your life? equal time custody, or whatever you call it. Now this isn't about me, so I will stop with the t/j.
Al_Bundy Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Last reply as this is not my thread. A judge told you there is no way a father would have a chance at equal custody? Yes. As long as the mother is declared fit, or more to the point, cannot be proven unfit, then she calls the shots. Is there some other extenuating factor here? Yes, I'm the father. Surely in Illinois fathers do not lose 100% of the time. They don't lose 100%, but if a father wants shared equal custody or to be the custodial parent, it aint happening unless the mother lets it happen. And in my case it won't happen because she wants the money, otherwise she'd probably let me have them. Unless us fathers are unfit, we are guaranteed every other weekend and one night a week. Gee, I guess I should be grateful.
lkjh Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Unfortunately in most states if the mom is fit she does get custody. Dads really have to fight for custody and that is why in many states there are organizations to help dads get custody.
n9688m Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Unfortunately in most states if the mom is fit she does get custody. But it is also true that most dads don't fight for custody. And it is also true that a huge percentage of dads have legitimate issues barring them from custody, including a history of violence, drug/alcohol abuse, and/or job schedules which make primary custody impractical.
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