Sysyphus28 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I am so angry at her right now, and I could use some insight. I have been NC 2 1/2 weeks. The ex went away for the summer and came back to carolina, I helped her move into her dorm room from our old apt..........she was nice to me as long as I helped her move. She calls me because she feels "so alone", it turns out she thought she got a venereal disease from the guy(her b/f) that she was having sex with all summer.... She needed someone to talk to!! ME!!! The one person who was hurting the most from being dumped!! Like a complete idiot I went over to her dorm room to comfort her and tell she wasn't a bad person(even though I thought she was a NO GOOD s^&%).......thats how bad I wanted her attention, I ignored reality! I wanted to be in her presence again so badly that I forgot what I was going over their for. To comfort her for cheating on me and getting a VD?!! It was perverse and I can't believe I didn't tell her I would never talk to her again!! What a sucker! That's how blind I was a month ago and needy and.......... Right Now.....after being on LS and giving my self NC for 2 1/2 weeks I want to call her in the worst way and break down all the horrible things she has done to me!!!! Scream at the top of my lungs at her, and let her no how horrible she has made me feel!! And how innapropriate and immature she has been in how she has handled all this. The lies! The deception! The manipulation! I want her to see it!! To see how F-ed up she has been! How do I get validation and not feel this scorn? How will she ever see the damage she has done here? NC is forcing me to realize how awful and immature she was in the end, and how stupid and blind I was in wanting her back. PLease help. Sys
ahhhchooo Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I want to call her in the worst way and break down all the horrible things she has done to me!!!! Scream at the top of my lungs at her, and let her no how horrible she has made me feel!! And how innapropriate and immature she has been in how she has handled all this. The lies! The deception! The manipulation! I want her to see it!! To see how F-ed up she has been! How do I get validation and not feel this scorn? How will she ever see the damage she has done here? NC is forcing me to realize how awful and immature she was in the end, and how stupid and blind I was in wanting her back. PLease help. Sys Trust me, you're not alone and our situations are similar. Replace VD with pregnancy (she's keeping the kid). I gave her emotional support after this. Later, and now, I am angry. I am angry that she is so immature and selfish that she doesn't give a f*ck about the damage she's caused, or probably even realise it. But making them see that - what's the point? Because they deserve to feel bad? Maybe - but hey. Your ex has VD now. I'm sure she regrets something already... lol I know my ex regrets her actions. They're in the past now and they're the ones who have to live with the consequences. We are free to move on. We can put all this anger and resentment behind us. Move toward eventual indifference.
EmperorR Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I wanted to scream, vent yell at her but i just took the high road and let it go, its not going to change anything, some things are just left better undone
Author Sysyphus28 Posted October 8, 2008 Author Posted October 8, 2008 I guess your right. The RAGE passed later that night after I went to this fun concert, but I was looking around at the show for her....and I thought I saw her. 2 weeks 4 days and I still have these "episodes" of anger where I want to call her and make her feel like dirt for what she did. She didn't end up getting the VD, and when she found out she was embarrassed she told me and hasn't really talked to me since. She is horrible but I still want to call her. What is wrong with me?
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