cuteblondegurl Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I have always had racial preferences when it comes to dating. I think a lot of people do. Recently I met two gentleman that are very nice and both are trying to date me. However, because they are not of the racial preferences I normally date, I am not interested in them at all. I think race is one issue but the other is that I am not physically attracted to either one. My friends think that I am foolish for not even going out with them & getting to know them. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Sks Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Absolutely not, you have no obligation to date anyone and you can turn them down for what ever reason you see fit.
Kamille Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Everyone has preferences but I'm a fan of giving guys a chance. One date is only a date, a chance to get to know someone better - and dates are fun! So I guess I understand your friend's point of view. If you know, however, that race is ultimately a dealbreaker for you then you're doing them a favor by not wasting their time.
Trialbyfire Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 There are personal preferences and racial preferences. If it's solely racial preferences, yes, it's bad, especially if you see other races as being of lower stature and/or believe in the neo-nazi view of racial purity. If it's honestly personal preferences because they don't do it for you, that's a different story.
Krajt Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Nope. Nothing wrong with it. TBF, you are opening a whole can of worms here.
a4a Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Or a cultural preference. I would not date an eskimo guy cause they kill whales and club baby seals. I would have to guess the OP is not a racist otherwise she would not be doubting herself in the first place. Most racist would never contemplate even thinking about this issue. So no date who you feel comfortable with for whatever reason.
Jilly Bean Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 If your friends have a problem with it, then let them date these guys. lol Seriously, just stay true to yourself and your values. YOU are the only one you need to make happy. I have dated other races in the past, but I won't bother with that anymore, and I make NO apologies for it.
Kamille Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I would not date an eskimo guy cause they kill whales and club baby seals. The proper term is Inuit . And I hear they've diversified their economy and that they're livelihood is as diverses as any population's.
Krajt Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I have dated other races in the past, but I won't bother with that anymore, and I make NO apologies for it. Were these interracial relationships really that bad? I'm asking as I have never been in one, though I was close.
Jilly Bean Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Were these interracial relationships really that bad? I'm asking as I have never been in one, though I was close. Nope, I wouldn't say there were "bad", per se. Just that for the long haul, you really need core values in common. And mixing races and cultures makes this difficult to accomplish. It clouds religion, views on money, gender roles, politics, etc. They were fun for the short-term for experimentation and when I wasn't thinking long, long-term. But marriage is hard enough when you have everything going for you - to stack the cards against you even further seems senseless. I'd much rather date someone with whom I can share a relative degree of instant compatibility and understanding.
Krajt Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 That seems fair enough, mind westernized non-whites are much easier to date, from what I have been told and seen with own two eyes.
Geishawhelk Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I tried dating people from different cultures in the past, because I told myself that to not do so would appear raciust. I wanted to be fsair and if i felt like ending the relationship, to have a valid reason, other than it's because they're Asian/African/Iranian/Chinese whatever. I did stop dating them because they were Asian/African/Iranian/Chinese. not because of their race per se.... but because the social conditioning, customs, upbringings and influences we had all been subjected to, were so vastly different that there was no possibility of meetings of Minds or compromises. It might have been possible, when I was younger, to have dated an Asian/African...etc., had they been born and brought up as an English person with English traits. But they weren't. So that was that.
Isolde Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 If it was a member of another race that you found objectively attractive, I'd go on a date just for the heck of it. If not, don't worry about it.
rod_in_gtown Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 If your friends have a problem with it, then let them date these guys. lol Seriously, just stay true to yourself and your values. YOU are the only one you need to make happy. I have dated other races in the past, but I won't bother with that anymore, and I make NO apologies for it. And here I was thinking of asking you out.
Lizzie60 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Absolutely nothing wrong.. it's all about personal preferences...
Shygirl15 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Absolutely nothing wrong.. it's all about personal preferences... Yes. What's wrong is other people telling you you're wrong for having such preferences.
KinAZ Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I have always had racial preferences when it comes to dating. I think a lot of people do. Recently I met two gentleman that are very nice and both are trying to date me. However, because they are not of the racial preferences I normally date, I am not interested in them at all. I think race is one issue but the other is that I am not physically attracted to either one. My friends think that I am foolish for not even going out with them & getting to know them. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Getting to know them is one thing, dating them is something totally different. No, I don't think you should go out with men you're not interested in, even if it is simply because they don't meet racial requirements. Why? Because it might both or you awkward! If you think you should to date guys of other races, then start with anyone who is not very eager about you. Other than that, if you're not attracted, you're not attracted.
Jilly Bean Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Yes. What's wrong is other people telling you you're wrong for having such preferences. Very true. Some people really need to look up the definition of racism before they go throwing the term around so loosely...
Trialbyfire Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 People fear the label of racist or bigot. I'm not certain why. If the shoe fits then wear it. If not, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Isolde Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 In friendship, race or looks should never matter, but dating is at the end a matter of your heart, and everyone knows the heart is not rational!
allina Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Honestly, when people say things like "I will never date someone of (whatever race)" I look down on them and think that they're racist. People often follow this up with "well it's my preference!" This is fine but when you claim that out of an ENTIRE RACE of people you would never date or find one person attractive, bs. And if you don't think a certain culture is a good match for you, that's fine, just say it. It's more honest and actually makes you sound like less of a bigot than saying "well I just don't find any Asian people attractive and never will, preference!" Of course the last sentence isn't directed at you, it's a general statement I hear from people a lot.
vonerik012 Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 There are personal preferences and racial preferences. If it's solely racial preferences, yes, it's bad, especially if you see other races as being of lower stature and/or believe in the neo-nazi view of racial purity. If it's honestly personal preferences because they don't do it for you, that's a different story. Please.. Nothing wrong with racial preferences. This is really humorous.. Women have height preferences, income preferences, job preferences, but it is wrong to have racial preferences? I wonder why is it acceptable and not "BAD" to have a long list of silly little preferences, but race must be left off of the list, or you are "Bad". Thank you moral police. Of course you are only bad if you are white Christian and have this racial type preference. If you are Jewish, or Black, or Asian you are "preserving your culture'" and not bad. People really cannot think for themselves these days..
Sks Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I won't date a none-white, I won't date a short girl, or one taller then me, I only find naturally straight hair attractive - I also don't like huge breasts or girls who are excessively fat/skinny. Apparently I am not just "racist", but "heightist", "hairist", "boobicst" and "fatist/skinnyicst".
Kamille Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I won't date a none-white, I won't date a short girl, or one taller then me, I only find naturally straight hair attractive - I also don't like huge breasts or girls who are excessively fat/skinny. Apparently I am not just "racist", but "heightist", "hairicst", "boobicst" and "fatist/skinnyicst". Or you're missing out on love because of superficial criterias.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I have always had racial preferences when it comes to dating. I think a lot of people do. Recently I met two gentleman that are very nice and both are trying to date me. However, because they are not of the racial preferences I normally date, I am not interested in them at all. I think race is one issue but the other is that I am not physically attracted to either one. My friends think that I am foolish for not even going out with them & getting to know them. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Go with the 'not physically attracted' issue. Don't discount entire races. I personally wouldn't fault you for your preferences to race, but I have been attracted to people of many races, for various reasons, and rarely did they have anything to do with physical attraction. Big, small, black, white, or PURPLE (white people like me always say purple for 'other', right? ), what has always mattered to my heart was eyes. Souls. Personalities. Maybe you could spend some time thinking about what you want BELOW the surface?
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