lexx Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 i really need your help here guys. i came to this place to get some advice on what to do.... I been dating this chic for 9 months, when we first met i asked how how her last relationship ended and she said she cheated on the guy she with for 4 years for a year. at the time she did a good job making me believe that it was all i mistake and she has changed. so we started dating we became pretty serious and exclusive. she would always come over to my house everyday to see me and sleep with me and i would so the same. we did everything together and we even went on a trip together. we were tight and i was really falling for her hard but i have a little of a jealous streak and insecurity due to her past, she had a wild past with threesomes and all that stuff so it made me a lil insecure whenever she get call s from guys from her work or other guys from her past. So anyway fast forward to about 7th month being together...she started acting distant and less affectionate towards me , and she said that maybe we should see each other less and have more time with our friends, so i refused and asked why , its because i got so used to being with her everyday and it was hard to adjust. so she started acting ll distant and stuff and would make up lies how she can't meet me cause shes going to a faimly dinner and stuff so she would see me the next day instead. then out of nowhere she told me she needed space. so i agreed and i stopped contact for 1 week then she finally contacted me a week later saying she misses me and she wants to work it out so i agreed. things are good and stuff for a week then she become distant again and would see me less cause she said she wants to take things slow and build trust to have a better relationship this time. so anyway one night she was sleeping over my house and i noticed she was getting a call ffrom a number ..so i decided to take the number down and call this person the next day. i called the person and talk to this dude who apparently has beeing datign my gf for 2 months now and he even told me how she wanted to be with him and she was single. my gf even blew this guy while we were on a break so i was pissed and i confronted her so she told me how she met this guy they got along started having feelings for him so she decided she wante space to see what can happen between him and her. but she realized that she loved me and wanted to be with me. i was pissed and told her that her just work it out witth your new guy and good luck. so 3 days later she calls me and told me that she was with this dude now and it really hurt me why she would call me tell me this stuff for....she has been calling me trying to be friends with me . i completely stopped contact for about 2 weeks then she called me from a diffrent number asking me to meet her so i can pick up my stuff from her but i refused i told her to just throw it away and she agreed....stopped contact again for another week then i get a text from her asking the same thing to meet to get my clothes and i didn't respond....i dont wanna hear from her again at this point but i would still get calls from a block number almost every 2 days without answering im assuming its her...i just can't believe she chose to be with him and not me when i found out she was playing me it hurts alot...any advice ???
lofi_tokyo Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Just be strong, lexx. I went though a similar, though not as gritty situation with my ex. We dated 2.5yrs when while I was studying abroad for a month he met a new girl, went on a few dates - nothing physical happened - but he became emotionally vacant towards me. When I broke up with him over it, he cried, I cried even more. He said he loved me. But, in the end I think, he had someone new, you know? Its terrible to have happen, and I'm sure he'll miss me, I certainly miss him... but at the same time, if he has chosen to move on, what more can I do but move on myself? There isn't much sense in waiting on a day that will most likely never come... So my suggestion, or console is.... Be strong. Don't break down. If she contacts you in a few months, after the air has settled a bit, and is seriously committed to working things out with you, then see how you feel then. For now... its sucks but just keep reminding yourself - shes a cheater. How much do you want to be with someone like that, really? Although shes probably a wonderful person in many other ways, and the two of you have surely shared many great moments together, you deserve better. Being in a relationship lined with unhappiness, and little trust, is not something you need to have - you can choose differently. Make the active choice to seek out happiness in life, and maybe in the meantime your ex will have time to figure her **** out, she may come back, or she may not, but at least you'll be able to stand up on your own.
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